18+ Language Violence Mature Content

The Art of the Heist

Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

PreviousNext

CHAPTER 1

CALLIDUS P.O.V

The sound of thunder quickly woke Callidus from out of the deep dream-like state he was in. With the lights off and nothing illuminating the small room but a sliver of frosty moonlight, he had to let his eyes get adjusted to the darkness all around and soon realized he wasn't in his own bed. He wasn't even in his own room.

There was a small lamp stand beside his bed on the right which was not present. "Is this even my house?", he asked himself and proceeded to lean forward in which both arms brushed against something warm and breathing. Tensing up, he slowly looked down in anticipation of some type of animal. When finally looking all the way down he heaved a huge sigh of relief. Girls, a multitude of them surrounded him. All in different positions but all naked.

The truth to last night hit him like a train, and it all came at once. He had had a twenty-some. This was a dream come true and he whispered a soft," Yes." and pumped his fists through the air. This had to be a fantasy and Callidus pinched himself just to be sure. "Yep, not a dream", he declared somewhat too loudly and a few girls murmured and twitched but proceeded to fall back asleep.

Covering his mouth, Callidus laid back down on the bed, his eyes facing the dark ceiling. Closing his eyes, he smiled to himself and said quietly, "What a night this was."

NICO P.O.V

"This is bullshit", Nico muttered sternly as he stepped out the black SUV parked outside a rundown motel complex. "This is where the dumbass is?", he asked to a female figure who appeared beside him.

"This is the place where his cell phone last connected to the nearest cellphone tower before being disconnected. Since cell phone towers collect data including the last known location, if he is not here then he should be approximately-"

"I just asked is he here.", Nico responded in an obviously annoyed voice.

"Yes, he should be here", she said adding a quick, "Sorry." before looking towards the ground.

He snuck a side glance at his sidekick of the sort and felt a little bad. She was only trying her best to provide the best quality information, but she just talked too damn much.

Looking away, Nico looked towards the seemly abandoned complex and just shook his head. It was in the middle of the night when Nico had received a call from Valentina. One that said Callidus had not come to the safe zone last night. The three had just accomplished robbing a bank that same day and the call caused Nico to suffer a small panic attack, assuming his brother had been caught and arrested.

"Dammit." was his response as he slammed down the phone and quickly rushed out the door. Now here they were, both in their pajamas, both soaking wet, and both hating Callidus.

"One day he needs to fucking grow the hell up", Nico said and started walking toward the entrance of the building. Looking over his shoulder he mouthed a silent "Let's go" and Valentina quickly rushed to meet him.

Once inside the two found that it was not difficult at all the find the room Callidus was most likely staying in. Most rooms were either dark and abandoned or boarded up, not to mention the long trail of broken beer bottles and women's lingerie leading to a certain door on the first floor. At last stopping at the designated door, Nico started to knock but soon realized it was pointless. This wasn't supposed to be a kind entrance and charged into the room.

Immediately turning a switch on the far side of the wall, the room slowly became illuminated by a single lightbulb and Nico wished he had kept it off. The scene was horrendous, naked women everywhere, beer and whiskey bottles in broken pieces on the floor, and puke was splattered about. Nico quickly turned away with Valentina doing the same.

"Everyone in this room has ten seconds to GET THE FUCK OUT!", Nico yelled suddenly pulling out a hidden pistol and firing off three shots. The yelling didn't wake everyone up but the gunshots sure did. Soon naked girls were everywhere frantically searching for their skimpy clothing.

"It's probably outside the door", Valentina said to a very young looking girl who was desperately trying to find her clothes. She looked at Valentina with an embarrassed smirk and rushed past her to the hallways. Callidus, in the middle of the bed, started to get up but Nico glared down and said,"Not you."

His crusty eyes widened and he laid back down on the bed, his hands raised in the air. "Nico put the gun down man", Callidus replied in a drunken tone, "You're scaring the girls." Nico's left eye started to twitch and responded," You think I give a fuck about these girls?! Why the hell am I getting a call from Valentina at MIDNIGHT saying you didn't come to the safe house last night?!" while storming to Callidus' position on the bed.

Obviously, that was not the response Callidus was looking for and slowly put his raised hands down, his smile suddenly fading.

"Get up," Nico said through gritted teeth and proceeded to lift the covers off the bed.

"I'm not sure you wanna do that Nico...."

"Shut the hell up," he said angrily and tore the covers off the bed, revealing Callidus in all his shine and glory. Callidus looked up smiling to the disgusted face of Nico and the amused one of Valentina.

Slowly, Nico pulled the covers back up to Callidus' waist, talking to himself in the process.

"Valentina, leave the room and close the door behind you. Please."

Nico turned toward the wall not looking at either Valentina nor Callidus. Not a few seconds passed between Valentina leaving and her closing the door did the yelling start. It all began with a simple, "You nasty fuck...." and escalated from there.

Soon, Nico walked back out into the hallway faced with half-clothed hookers and Valentina all staring back at him. "Why the hell are you all still here?!", he yelled and like magic, they all streamed out the front entrance. He suddenly turned toward the door and banged so hard the wood started to split, "You have five seconds to get dressed or I'm going to shoot you!"

A few seconds later, a faint voice announced, "I can't find my clothes......."

Now Nico's right eye started to twitch, and he walked straight in eyes wide and fist clenched; a few minutes later dragging a still naked and screaming Callidus out the door of the room by his hair. He dragged him down the hallway, out the front door through the rain, and threw him head first into the back of the waiting black SUV.

"You guys are some bitches, man-", Callidus started from the backseat but was cut off by Nico giving him a deathly stare. Certain he was going to stay quiet, Nico turned back around and started the car, the loud engine creating noise throughout the night. "I can not believe that the night we rob a bank, you spend a bunch of your share on hookers and booze. What if one of them was an undercover cop Callidus?!"

"Then that undercover cop had the time of her life", Callidus laughed.

Pulling the SUV out of the complex, Nico refused to say anymore, much to the amazement of Callidus and Valentina.

"It's going to be a long drive home", Valentina thought to herself as she looked out the passenger window as the car drove away from the complex and into the night.

*Yes, I know the first chapter is super short but don't worry, they will get longer in the future.*

Comments & reviews · 2
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
Elijah
Review
Elijah wrote a review · Sun Jun 25, 2017 8:47 am

Hey there, Eli here on this beautiful review day!

This story is really making me laugh, maybe it is just the man's idiocy and how amuzing he is or just the fact that the naked scene is just the best thing I could be searching for. Yes, the first chapter is short, but I love that you still show us two sides of this story. Maybe even three because the main female protogenist also shared a part of showing what she is thinking and what she is seeing through her own eyes. I wish her to be more in the next parts still, I love the two brothers but she deserves a part under the spotlight as well.

I expected something bad to have happened to our poor drunk buddy but it seemed like he just went to have some fun. I was shocked but pleasantly surprised when the naked women came on play. I did not expect to go into the deep lust emotions from the very beginning but I am not from the people to be grossed out from this scene or whatever. It made it even more interesting as I always predicted he will be smacked at least once because of the outcome of his actions. For a moment, I forgot they are even bank robbers. In the next part, I wish to hear more about this robbery though! I think that it will be very interesting if you give us 'A day before' or 'The night before' episode. It would be amuzing to show us what have happened maybe during the robbery, right after it, or even before it. Their plans? Why they rob this certain bank whichever it is? Details like this which will fill the gaps for me. So I understand the story a bit more.

But this was still a wonderful start, you gave me a good laugh which earned you a new reader and I am sure even one reader is enough to change your decision do you want to write another part or not.

Keep on writing and have a great day!

Random avatar
Lavendersnow Review

Before I start, this is my first review so warning it may be no help at all.

Praise: I love the amount of detail that you have added especially in the first paragraph I love the plot so far and also I love the names you have chosen for your characters. Im hooked and excited to read more.

Suggestions: When the Point of view changes in a story it is usually better to do it by chapter or after while has passed it makes it flow more in my opinion but you can do what you want ig.

Grammar: In the second sentence I would suggest putting a comma after room and taking
out the comma after moonlight and changing it to a period. Then at the end of the second paragraph add a comma after positions. There are some other comma mistakes so I suggest looking over your grammar again or using a grammar site next time. Also if your main grammar mistake is just commas its not really something you should worry about to much.

Overall I really enjoyed it and I can't wait to read and review the next chapter!



Some twenty years from now, users will ask a similar question about world famous Chicken poetry and Google will tell them about alliyah.
— Hkumar