z

Young Writers Society


12+ Violence Mature Content

The story of Lisa, the burning fire girl

by vampricone6783


*This is from the first Halloween tale from my story “31 horrific Halloween tales”. This story and the Halloween tale was inspired by the fact that I used to think the phrase “Liar, liar, pants on fire” was “Liar, liar, head on fire”.  I know better now, but I’ve decided to make a story based on this mistake of mine. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!

Introduction

Lisa Hudson never liked arguments. Watching people fight only for both to lose. Relationships being destroyed. Opinions sword fighting other opinions in a meaningless battle of “Who is the right one”?

Ever since she was in second grade, she despised them. She wished to just burn those arguing away.

Well, she got her wish.

This is the story of Lisa, the fantastic fire girl.



Chapter One

Lisa sat alone in her school bus, drawing in her notebook. It was the first day of second grade and she looked like a loner. She didn’t care, though. She liked drawing.

She smiled at the drawings. They were pictures of people singing around a bonfire. A camp club. The fire was warming them up. Everyone was safe and happy. Nobody was fighting or being mean to each other.

It was different from the kids yelling at each other in the bus. It was different from the world around her.

It was perfect.

The bus stopped. Lisa stuffed the notebook back in her bag.

Time for school.



Chapter Two

She walked inside the school with a purpose. One purpose:To get to class. Yes, every kid was going to class. But every kid had at least one friend with them.

Lisa wanted friends. She really did. The only reason she didn’t have any was because she feared the person would argue and yell and-

“Hey Lisa!”

Lisa stopped in her tracks. She wasn’t used to someone calling her name. Maybe the person was calling a different person named Lisa.

Then she felt a tap on her shoulder.

She turned around.

Another girl her age, with long blond hair and blue eyes smiled back at her. The girl was wearing such a pretty pink dress.

“Want to go to class with me?” She asked.

Lisa wasn’t sure what to make of this. No one spoke to her. No one ever asked to go to class with her.

Yet here was this girl, asking if she wanted to go to class with her.

How could Lisa not accept?

“Sure.” Lisa said.

The girl smiled and took her hand.

Together, they skipped to class.



Chapter Three

The two girls sat next to each other when they entered the room. Some of the kids gasped. Some of them snickered. Others didn’t really pay attention. The teacher herself looked like she was hiding back surprise.

But Lisa only smiled.

Finally, she had a friend!

Finally, she had someone who would be nice to her!

Finally.



Chapter Four

Lisa was trying really hard to pay attention to the teacher, but she was too busy thinking about how she finally had a friend to really learn anything.

The girl slipped something into her hand.

Lisa looked down. It was a note that read as followed:

“Sit next to me at Lunch! - Alina”.

Lisa smiled to herself. Of course she would sit next to her.



Chapter Five

It was Lunchtime. Lisa was looking for the table with Alina in it. So far, she didn’t see her. There were too many kids.

A hand shot up from one of the tables. It was waving.

The hand was connected to a body and the body was…

“Alina!” Lisa cried out in joy.

She ran over to the table, almost bumping the others.

Chapter Six

“So why are you being nice to me?” Lisa asked.

“Because I want to be your friend. Nobody talks to you and I do.” Alina replied, biting into her Oreo cookie.

Alina reached into her Lunchbox and handed Lisa an Oreo.

“For me?” She asked.

Alina nodded.

Lisa smiled and accepted the cookie.

She had a best friend!

A real best friend!



Chapter Seven

Day after day, year after year, Lisa hung out with Alina. Their friendship grew. The two were inseparable.

Now, they were both mere teens attending High School.

Now, they were so much older.

Now, things would be very different.



Chapter Eight

Lisa’s phone buzzed on her nightstand. She was still half asleep, but she reached for it anyway.

It was a text from Alina, asking her to meet at the playground.

It was still very early in the morning, so Lisa didn’t see the point.

Regardless of that, she’d go anyway. She was her friend, after all. She couldn’t ignore what a friend wanted.



Chapter Nine

Her pajamas did nothing to keep her from the October chill. Her sneakers burned like fire under her running feet.

Lisa finally entered the playground.

Alina was there.

So was her little sister, Lynette. In fact, she was talking to Alina.

Lisa clenched her fists.

What was Lynette doing here?



Chapter Ten

“Hey, Lynette.” Lisa said, walking up to them, trying to hold back her inner…jealousy? But why should she be jealous of her little sister? It wasn’t like Lynette knew anything.

“Hey.” Lynette said, smiling like all was alright.

“What’s wrong, Lisa?” Alina asked.

“How do you know her?”

“Oh, Lynette?”

“Yeah.”

“We met yesterday at school. I told her to meet at the playground, like you. I’m glad both of you could join!”

“What do you want us for?” Lisa asked, raising an eyebrow.

“To burn down the school.” Alina said, eyes glittering with evil.



Chapter Eleven

“Why on Earth would we do that?” Lisa asked. Lynette seemed to share her disbelief and horror, as she backed away from Alina.

“Don’t you ever get tired of the same thing, day in and day out? Lesson after lesson after lesson? Don’t you want some excitement in your life?” Alina asked.

Come to think of it, Lisa did want something exciting in her life. Besides, the school only hurt her in the end. No one but Alina truly cared for her.

“Yeah. Let’s do it.” Lisa said, eyes glittering with the same evil.

A shame Lynette was still reluctant.



Chapter Twelve

It wasn’t that hard to sneak into the school. Their security was never taken seriously, because who would want to break in a High School that only housed two-hundred kids?

The girls were in the basement, Alina taking out a red lighter from her skirt pocket.

“Liar, liar, pants on fire.” Alina said, smiling.

Lisa frowned. She had heard the saying differently.

“It’s “Liar, liar, head on fire.” Not “Liar, liar, pants on fire.” But that’s okay. We don’t need to make a big production out of it.” Lisa faked a grin. She couldn’t bear to argue with Alina right now, but she said it wrong. Since Lisa was a good friend, she had to correct her.

“Lisa, what I said is right, because that’s what everyone says.”

“No, you’re wrong.”

“I’m pretty sure that I’m right.”

“Alina, just admit that you’re wrong.”

“No. I’m not wrong.” Alina said, glaring at her.

Who was this girl who pretended to be her friend? This monster? This creature from He-

“Guys? Can we just go home now? I don’t feel so good about this.” Lynette said from the background, distressed.

“Go home? Go home? Lynette, didn’t you tell me just yesterday that you felt suffocated by the work being given to you?” Alina asked.

“Yes, but-“

“There should be no hesitation. Burning down the school is our only option.” Alina said.

“That’s rid-“

“Lynet-“

“Stop!”



Chapter Thirteen

“Stop.” Lynette repeated, tears glittering in her eyes.

Lisa and Alina turned to Lynette.

Lisa didn’t feel great about the argument, and she missed her bed, but they just got in the school. They were so close. So close to burning all their troubles away.

But now they all just stood there, staring at one another.

Lynette took out a coin from her pajamas’ pocket.

“Let’s flip a coin.” She said, certainty in her eyes.

Lisa and Alina only looked back in confusion.

“What?” Lisa asked.



Chapter Fourteen

“I think we should flip a coin.” Lynette said.

“How is flipping a coin going to help anyone?” Lisa asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It will get us out of this situation. Who wants heads and who wants tails?”

Lisa thought for a moment. Did she really want to burn down the school, like Alina suggested? Where would she go? How long could she keep it a secret?

And she would be hurting everyone at the school. Where would the other students go? Where would the other teachers go? What would happen to the community?

Maybe burning the school down wasn’t the best choice.

“I call heads. Heads for leaving.” Lisa said.

“Leaving? But Li-“

“Lynette is right. This isn’t a good idea.”

“Fine, okay. If you want to be such a wuss, go ahead. I call tails for staying.”

Lynette nodded her head at both of them, as if they were soldiers in a war and not three teens deciding over a coin toss whether or not they should burn down the school.

Lynette flipped the coin.



Chapter Fifteen

The coin fluttered in the air, like a silver butterfly. Then, it stopped fluttering and instead, twirled in the ground.

It twirled and twirled and twirled and twirled…

Tails.

It landed on tails.

“I win.” Alina smiled.

Lisa lost.

Her very school would be burned to the ground. To ashes.

To nothingness.



Chapter Sixteen

“Alina, let’s think about this for a second. Do you really want to burn down the school?” Lisa asked.

Alina grinned even wider at the question.

“Of course! How many times do I have to tell you that this is what I want?”

“Alina, please!” Lisa pleaded.

Alina laughed and shook her head pitifully at her.

“School isn’t a “safe learning environment”. It’s a place where you get bullied, you get judged for how well you do on something, and if you don’t do it right, you’re cast out into the sha-“

Lisa didn’t know what happened. Lisa didn’t know why it happened.

She only backed away from Lynette and Alina, their heads on fire believing that it was her fault.



Chapter Seventeen

Lisa ran up the basement stairs, the one sane thing she could think of doing. The entire place was being engulfed in flames, the flickering orange monstrosities trailing behind her like feverish, frenzied ghosts.

She crawled to the floor once she made it out of the basement. Her entire vision was covered in flames. Just flames. She couldn’t see the exit. Everything was this burning inferno.

Lisa sighed heavily, desperately crawling towards the door. Her vision was getting cloudy with her tears. She couldn’t see the way out.

She didn’t even have the strength to move anymore.

Everything was fire.

Everything.



Chapter Eighteen

“Lisa? Lisa, hello? Are you okay?”

“Lisa?”

She didn’t know who was speaking to her. She didn’t want to open her eyes. She didn’t want to respond.

But she knew that she had to speak up. She had to open her eyes.

Lisa, with much difficulty, opened her eyes.

She was in some blaring, bright white room. A hospital room, she thought.

“I…not…okay.” Lisa managed to gurgle out.

Why was the light so bright? Why did she feel so hot? Couldn’t someone turn the lights off? Couldn’t someone turn down the heat?

Everything was so hot and bright…



Chapter Nineteen

What was that loud beeping noise? Why didn’t it stop? Why did it keep on be-

The sound stopped.

Lisa opened her eyes.

She was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling, her hand on the alarm clock…

Wait.

Wasn’t she at the hospital? From the fire?

Lisa shot up from bed.

Everything was the same. Except that none of the photos that decorated her mirror had Alina or Lynette in them.

It was as if they had never existed.

But she was friends with Alina for years! She squabbled with Lynette for many more!

She looked down at her arms.

No burns.

Yet, she remembered the fire so clearly…

Chapter Twenty

Lisa walked downstairs, to the breakfast table.

There were her parents, sitting at the table, eating breakfast.

No Lynette.

It was as if she didn’t exist.

“Guys? Where is Lynette? How am I burn fr-“

“Lynette? Who is that?” Mom asked.

Lisa couldn’t believe that they were really doing this right now. This was so not cool of them.

“This isn’t funny, guys.”

Her parents exchanged a worried look.

“Sit down, honey.” Her Mom attempted to reassure.

“I don’t understand! Me, Alina, and Lyne-“

“Who is Alina?”

“My childhood friend! You guys, stop. There was this fire at my school…I started it…I’m sorr-“

“Fire? What do you mean by a fire? Lisa, are you feeling well?”

Why did Mom ask those questions? Why was Dad just looking at her?

What was going on?



Epilogue

She went to school. No signs of Lynette or Alina.

But these teens named Charlie, Elli, Maybelle, and David claimed to have been her friends for years.

She did remember them. At all. Because they never existed. Only Lynette and Alina existed.

They were in the way. They were pretending to be her friends.

She had to burn them to oblivion, just like she had accidentally burned away her dear sister and only real friend…


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Thu Jan 19, 2023 11:49 pm
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foxmaster wrote a review...



Hello, this is my review on your story.
"Lisa Hudson despised arguments."
Great opening! :) U love how you automatically know more about our character.
"Lisa wanted friends. she really did."
Now I personally feel bad for her because she seems so lonely.
"Sit with me at lunch!- Alina."
"The girl smiled and took her hand. together, they skipped to class."
"Want to go to class with me?"
Okay, that automatically makes me like Alina. She seems incredibly nice and I like the way you make her seem so kind and caring.
"Now, things would be different."
Oooo, nice dramatic moment.
"'Hey, Linette.' she walked towards them, trying to hide her inner... jealousy?"
Great addition of conflict and jealousy.
"'What do you want us for?' 'to burn down the school.'"
Wow. You make such a great turn of events here. It's a little hard to process, but still, GIGANTIC plot twist. makes me think really differently about Alina.
"Lisa, said her eyes glittering with the same evil."
No offense, but why would you make the main character kind of evil, too? Did not expect that.
"This monster? this creature from he-"
I love how you say that because it really shows that Lisa isn't actually evil, which is a relief.
"Their heads on fire believing it was her fault."
oh, so that's where she gets her powers. Such a shame how it's used.
"it was as if it had never existed."
That part's a little confusing.
"She had to burn them into oblivion, just like she had accidentally burned away her dear sister and only real friend..."
Dark ending. Giant cliffhanger. Wow. Great story. Also, if you could read my new book, "The accidental magic", that would be great. Thanks! :)




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Fri Jan 06, 2023 9:24 am
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Mikatsune wrote a review...



Hi, I'm going to give a comment/review.


I just think this story is great! It's interesting and I could not take my eyes of it! I loved how there was a plot twist and that Alina was not such a good person, and another plot twist at the end! I liked how you made Lisa's bedroom seem like a hospital.


"Lisa ran up the basement stairs, the one sane thing she could think of doing. The entire place was being engulfed in flames, the flickering orange monstrosities trailing behind her like feverish, frenzied ghosts.

She crawled to the floor once she made it out of the basement. Her entire vision was covered in flames. Just flames. She couldn’t see the exit. Everything was this burning inferno."




This part really caught my eye! Keep it up, this is a really cool short story!




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Wed Jan 04, 2023 6:23 pm
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AkuRashomon wrote a review...



Hi, hello. This is Ina speaking. I am going to give a comment/review.

This is one of the first long stories I've read from you and it is pretty good and better if they were explained and told long. I didn't know you could split parts and chapters in one story post because the others post their story chapters separately. Lisa, the main character seems like a good one and I like how you described vividly how the action of the supernatural acts in the story. I don't know why but this story reminds me of Alicia Keys' song "Girl On Fire." My favorite lines are:

"Lisa ran up the basement stairs, the one sane thing she could think of doing. The entire place was being engulfed in flames, the flickering orange monstrosities trailing behind her like feverish, frenzied ghosts."

I think the description, the words blend smoothly and prefectly together. Over all, it is a good long story. Keep up on writing! I hope this helps and have a good morning, day, afternoon, or night.




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Tue Jan 03, 2023 11:45 am
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waterfalls wrote a review...



Hi, this was a great read and I really enjoyed it. I love how you split up parts into small chapters,

but throughout chapters 11 to 14, I feel you should have described Lisa's thought process more. Burning down a building is a huge thing, and her entire thought process felt a bit rushed especially when she said this:

"Come to think of it, Lisa did want something exciting in her life. Besides, the school only hurt her in the end. No one but Alina truly cared for her."

Just because the school hurt her meant that she was willing to burn it down? And then she thinks of it as exciting? Of course, later on, she realizes how absurd this is and tells Alina to stop, but I think you should have made this scene longer, just so the reader can understand everything Lisa is thinking. Especially during the coin toss part, where they decide whether they should or should not burn it down through a coin toss.

And about Alina, what exactly was her character? because throughout most of the story she seemed like a normal girl, really sweet. then suddenly out of the blue, she decides to burn down the school. Who is she, really? how long has she been planning this? Was she capable of burning down the school? Did she befriend Lisa for this? I feel you could have expanded more on that.


Other than that, I love your choice of words here:

"Lisa ran up the basement stairs, the one sane thing she could think of doing. The entire place was being engulfed in flames, the flickering orange monstrosities trailing behind her like feverish, frenzied ghosts."




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deleted32 wrote a review...



Cyer here with a review! As always, please keep in mind that this review is not intended to offend you or make your writing look bad!
SUMMARY OF THOUGHTS
I really enjoyed this story. Some parts of it felt a bit rushed or...like some insane dream. But anyway let's break it down
THE BEGENNING

Lisa sat alone in her school bus, drawing in her notebook. It was the first day of second grade and she looked like a loner. She didn’t care, though. She liked drawing.

She smiled at the drawings. They were pictures of people singing around a bonfire. A camp club. The fire was warming them up. Everyone was safe and happy. Nobody was fighting or being mean to each other.

It was different from the kids yelling at each other in the bus. It was different from the world around her.

It was perfect.

The bus stopped. Lisa stuffed the notebook back in her bag.

Time for school.

I like the way you started this story because I find that the drawing she made at the intro is kinda like a happy parallels to the ending of this story, or the ending parallels the drawing but anywho I found that neat.
THAT ONE CHAPTER...
Chapter Seven

Day after day, year after year, Lisa hung out with Alina. Their friendship grew. The two were inseparable.

Now, they were both mere teens attending High School.

Now, they were so much older.

Now, things would be very different.

I feel that this passage is two short to be a chapter. It feels more like a prelude or a piece of narration like the introduction to the story.

ALINA
“To burn down the school.” Alina said, eyes glittering with evil.



Chapter Eleven

“Why on Earth would we do that?” Lisa asked. Lynette seemed to share her disbelief and horror, as she backed away from Alina.

“Don’t you ever get tired of the same thing, day in and day out? Lesson after lesson after lesson? Don’t you want some excitement in your life?” Alina asked.

Come to think of it, Lisa did want something exciting in her life. Besides, the school only hurt her in the end. No one but Alina truly cared for her.

“Yeah. Let’s do it.” Lisa said, eyes glittering with the same evil.

A shame Lynette was still reluctant.

I'm still not sure what you were going for with the character of Alina. From my perspective she appears to be a normal kid, with normal frustrations about school, it's just that she decided to act on them.
Were you aiming for psychopath vibes? Did Alina befriend Lisa solely because of her powers, and if so how did Alina find out that Lisa had the capability to burn down the school?
[b]THE ENDING[/quote]
She did remember them. At all. Because they never existed. Only Lynette and Alina existed.

They were in the way. They were pretending to be her friends.

She had to burn them to oblivion, just like she had accidentally burned away her dear sister and only real friend…

The ending was really well done, and left me with more questions that answers as every good story should. I speculate that if the whole incident with Alina was a dream then Alina may have been a manifestation of the darker part of her subconscious or something.

Anyway that concludes this review! I hope you found it helpful in someway, and if not then I at least hope you found my speculations amusing lol
-Asher




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Fri Dec 30, 2022 11:22 pm
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dragonight9 wrote a review...



That title lead me to expect something very different from this story. It really sounded like a fever dream at times and her last thoughts sounded like the beginning of insanity. There were many things that only half made sense in the same way a dream or lie would which is perfect for the concept of the story.

The first impression I got of Alina vs her actions when they met at the park seemed very contradictory. Lots of people wish their school would burn down and most of us have probably joked about it at one point or another but actually acting on something like that takes a certain disregard for society and others or a large degree of insanity.

All this is to say you portrayed this very well in the story and if this was a real person I'd be quite scared of them. However they are also relatable to a degree since many readers have probably felt similar isolation and wished someone would come up to them and ask to be their friend. What would a person like that be willing to do to get a friend like Alina I wonder?

The only two questions I have as a reader are why she was called 'fantastic' in the title,
and why you split it up into chapters like this. Was it to show a change of scene or passage of time?






I first thought that saying %u201Cfantastic%u201D in the title might make sense, but seeing as there%u2019s nothing really fantastic with Lisa or anything in this story, I%u2019ll delete it.

As for the chapters, that%u2019s to break up different parts in the story.

Thanks for reading!




I am not a person I am a natural disaster
— TheWordsOfWolf