Published April 24, 2016
Two childhood best friends see each other for the last time at the farewell. A flashback runs in their minds. A love untold, screams to be revealed in hearts of both of them, yet they give each other a sweet gesture -'Smile'. A smile which says a thousand words, a smile which says meet me again, talk to me , love me, embrace me and never let me go! They have their last conversation yet the chemistry between them sparkles. They talk of everything except LOVE yet their talks glow of it. Parting from each other, they say Good-Bye but the irony stands that the word Good-Bye is never so good. An untold lovestory ends before it ever began. Still two of them are remembered in their scool as being BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!
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140,763 Literary Works • 673,687 Reviews
Eh, this is weird, and not the good kind of weird.
For one, the characters seem to be impossibly bland and no sign of character development seems to exist.
For two, couldn't one of the BFF's see how the other feels without needing to say it.
And for three, wouldn't the word good-bye be toxic, terrible, or very unpleasant.
Meh, try to improve using some mature sentence structure, I could smell the obnoxious teenager clichés a mile away.
Hey person! Phangirl here to review your awesome work on this amazing review day!
to understand my point read it like this...
This work of yours was really awesome!
I seriously enjoyed reading this... And is it just me or did this really had a poetic flow... I mean you could have easily categorized as a poem!
Spoiler
Two childhood best friends
see each other for the last time at the farewell.
A flashback runs in their minds.
A love untold,
screams to be revealed
in hearts of both of them,
yet they give each other a sweet gesture -'Smile'. A smile which says a thousand words,
a smile which says meet me again,
talk to me ,
love me,
embrace me
and never let me go!
They have their last conversation yet the chemistry between them sparkles.
They talk of everything except LOVE
yet their talks glow of it.
Parting from each other,
they say Good-Bye
but the irony stands that the word Good-Bye
is never so good.
An untold lovestory ends before it ever began. Still two of them are remembered
in their school as being
BEST FRIENDS FOREVER"
see it does have a good flow!
But anyway I love your work! And seriously I'm gonna save this in my favourite works folder!
So yeah nothing to criticize, your work was awesome! Keep it up!
Happy reviewing!
Hey!! I am bookoholic22 here for a review!!
This piece is something which i could relate to..
The reason being is something like this happened with me.. my best friend and i parted because she had to go to another town.. and believe me, that was the worst phase of my life! I cried for days.. Why don't i forget that?!*sighs*
but the good part is, we are still in contact
Now this piece refreshened those memories i had! With my best friend.. i am looking forward to read what happens next. Though i am more towards poems, but your work is a exception!!
Keepwriting , stay positive!
~bookoholic22
I would love to see this becoming a longer and more detailed story. I would love to help if I can, of course also. I hope you start thinking of making this a short story or a novel. I think it can become a sweet romantic story about one friendship turning into a big beautiful love. If you will start the story, I think you need to start with explaination of the situation and description of each of them both. The reason they depart and how they met. It can become really interesting even if the idea is basic. I wish you luck,also, welcome in YWS!
Hi, is this a synopsis of your story, if so, i believe it has great potential. i would love to see it developed. Keep writing!
Yes it is, I am working on the story. Anyways thanks