Beautiful Disaster

Well done! I love the flow and the repetition of that one stanza, it gives almost like a "stab" at the reader. Emoting the same strength of emotion every time it is read. I love the stanza with the girl, it is beautifully written. I wish you went more depth of the boys situation. More in depth of how addiction feels, and how being in a gang feels. Love the imagery with chains. Love the ending! All in all it is beautiful work!

Ok, I'm not going to pick at it right now (I might come back later but like, It's 4 am and I'm lazy )
BUT I really liked this. At first I was annoyed because I thought this was another poem romanticizing serious issues, but then I read on and got to the part "Does't she know she's beautiful..." and I realized it was a little more hopeful than that.
But is the part where it does "Doesn't s/he know s/he's not worth it?" supposed to be contrasting the other lines or supposed to mean not worth their addictions? Because when I first read it I thought it meant in general, like they're not worth life... so I think that should be reworded to be more clear. But overall, this is a great start!

I LOVED this Part Right Here It happens in a blink
And then you think you can never go back
You hear all the noises
They're starting to come flying faster
But did you know you’re beautiful
Your greater than the pain you’ve seen
Because this disaster has turned into beauty

Hey Urban!

She’s sitting on the dark and dusty floor
The bathroom stall is filled with the hate inside of hercomma
But this doesn’t help so she lies to themperiod and Lies to who?
Those compliments about her body make her soarcomma
And so these starving nights keep her awake
But this pain is her comfort foodcomma
But not enough to give her hopeperiod
Sounds like an eating disorder.

Doesn’t she know she’s beautiful?
Doesn’t she know she’s loved?
Doesn’t she know it’s not worth it? These are all common things that depressed or insecure people never believe. Good job!
She’s drowning in her dreamscomma
But she covers it with her smiles period
Seems she’s on the edgecomma
Of a beautiful disaster

Three months he’s been promising them to be sobercomma
But he’s lying to them allperiod
He’s going back to the bottle every night
He’s in the wrong crowd
Hangin Hanging or Hangin' with the dealers who call him buddy
His parents look on and cry
They know what’s going oncomma
But can you imagine what they’re going through
What happened to their little angel?

No comments on the stanza I left out.

It happens in a blink comma
And then you think you can never go backperiod
You hear all the noises
They're starting to come flying fastercomma
But did you know you’re beautiful?
Your greater than the pain you’ve seen
Because this disaster has turned into beauty

Your chains are gonecomma
They have been brokencomma
You are freeperiod
So go fly free beautiful dove
Your pain was seencomma
And your disaster has become beautifulperiod