Published September 1, 2011
Verse 1:
These walls around me are slowly falling
I feel the ground beneath me shake..
This house once had a strong foundation
But now it's cracked with fear and hate..
All possesions lost its texture
All the broken are all that remains...
What once was a safe sanctuary
Was invaded by visits of shame...
Chorus:
Wanting and needing closure
Wanting the gift of time
To rewind all this terror
And take back what once was mine
Everyday is dark and gloomy
Under the skies of endless rain
Rain not of life, but sorrow
Sorrow that cannot be restrained
I need life!
I need something to get through the day
I crave light!
To see through these walls of decay
Verse 2:
I feel my body slowly shiver
As I lay upon the cold floor...
My arms and hands start to quiver
Wanting the warmth that is no more
Where is the heart that once survived?
Through every wave and every storm...
Where is the love that I once had?
That would keep me from this harm
Chorus:
All I ask is a sign
That everything had a meaning
Or was it all just cliche?
Everything within me is screaming
I once had reassurance
That everything will be just fine
But if you see me crying
In this house, you will realize
That I need life!
Something to get me through the day
I need crave light!
To get through the walls in the way
Bridge:
I need truth!
I need time!
I need the lost
Belongings of mine!
I need heart!
I need mind
I need the fire
That once blazed inside!
I need hope!
I need faith!
I need to
Get out of this place!
I!
Need!
Life!
I need life! (I need truth! I need time!)
I need something to get me through the day (I need the lost belongings of mine!)
I crave light! (I need heart! I need mind!)
To see through these walls of decay (I need the fire that once blazed inside!)
I need life! (I need hope! I need faith!)
Something to get me through the day (I need to get out of this place!)
I crave light!
To get through the walls in the way!
I need to escape!
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140,149 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
Yeah.... Lmao xD I know. It was a bad choice of rhyming. I was singing it one day and I thought that it would work depending on how you pronounce the word in the song. But when I wrote it on paper and looked at it, I thought that it was a weird way to try and rhyme words. I thought I could pull it off, but I couldn't. Lol. Thankyou for pointing that out to me so I know to fix it for future reference.
I meant "cliche " damn autocorrect
Hi
I agree with the other reviewers. I thought it was great! Completely captured all my emotions and put them into words. I really loved your second verse, it was the most original part of the song along with the second chorus- I love that your choruses were different! Just be careful of becoming to cloche with the restbof the song- but I think you pulled it off. One complaint- you rhymed storm with ( I think it was harm?) Which didn't quite work. But well done, this a great, emotional piece that I can really relate to! 
- rachel
Wow this was really well written. I was really caputured by the title mostly. Keep writing.
I really enjoyed reading this because it's the kind of stuff that I write. I, like the person before said, thought that this was a bit off
I wouldn't recommend puting "only" in place of "All" at the beginning because it will throw off the count. What I mean by that is...if you were to put this to music each word would represent a musical note. Right now there would be 9 notes in how it is written right now. If you put "only" as a replacement for "all" it will come up to 10. So instead of "only" you might want to put either "and" or "for"
I think it's just fine the way it is written. Someone before me said that you should put "Rain not of life, but OF sorrow" It's correct either way in my opinion. However I think you might need a comma after "Rain".
Thankyou for the feedback. The "of" mistake was a typo that I forgot to fix. Lol. Thankyou for pointing it out to me. And I will change the lyrics to those suggested words for that line you pointed out. Thankyou again for your constructive criticism.
Overall, love it!!!! There are just a few lines below that I think would do well with the corrections.
Maybe you can change it to "Only the broken will remain" because the word "all" twice in the same line is very confusing to the reader/listener (since its a song xD)
Rain not of life, but OF sorrow
What type of song do you want this to be? I see the exclamation points and automatically think "that's a screaming part". I am very into music and write some songs myself so I like to envision lyrics with a certain genre just to know the feel of the song. I think these lyrics would do well for a hard rock/metalcore song because of the dark lyrics and feel it gives.