Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Novel / Chapter » Romantic

16+ Mature Content

part one

by unendinglex


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.

I would like to say that my life is uneventful. In some ways, that’s true. I wake up everyday, go to school, come back home, and talk to my roommates.

My roommates are nice. They’re easy to talk to. Most of our conversations consist of us complaining about the boys that come in and out of our lives—literally more often than not. We’re college girls; it’s to be expected. Over the past eleven months, my body count jumped from one to about twelve. I honestly can’t remember most of my hookups, but they’ve all been special in their own ways. 

With each person that I let into my life, there’s a pattern. I meet them on Tinder or Bumble. From there, I make sure that someone I’m close to knows them. They usually do honestly since I live in a small college town. Then, I invite them over, and we watch a movie or smoke or whatever young people do. Next, he moves in for the kiss, and my heart decides its fate. The fate is usually a short lived crush until I get pissed at them for breathing. 

That is something I hate about myself. My patience is so thin with these boys, so I can hardly stand them after our third time hooking up. It’s happened eleven times. That feels really fast, but there is one boy that I just can’t get off of my mind. 

His name is George. He’s got dark skin and tattoos. A smile that I would kill to see again. His lips are puffy and just “oh-so-kissable”. When I’m around him, I feel as though I’m on top of the world. My tummy gets all bubbly, and I can never keep myself from smiling. He’s got the best energy. 

George and I’s relationship started off on Tinder. I was working at a nearby Old Navy, and George texted me while I was working one day. 

me: i love ur smile, ur so cute (which i totally believed)

george: Thank you, I think your hair is really pretty

me: thank you! your taste in music is also bomb, i absolutely love it

george: Thanks, I don’t really have a choice but to listen to music all day. I’m surrounded by it where I work

me: that’s pretty cool, i’m stuck listening to the top 40 at old navy, i’ve really just been folding shirts all day

george: Oh shit, Old Navy is cool

george: I actually need to buy new clothes. Might stop by on my lunch break

He never did. He’s the type of person that says that he’ll show up, but he never does. The next night, we decided to hang out. It was a late night in June, and I was still in shambles after my first big breakup in April. I’m honestly not sure that I’m over that ex, but I feel as though I’ll move on eventually. It’s just hard when it’s your first big relationship.

George came over, and he was even cuter than his Tinder profile led me to believe. He has thick black dreads that fall just around his ears, clear skin, and the best attitude. We sat and chatted for a bit, and it was the first time that I had actually been extremely interested in one of the guys I had been seeing. He told me stories about bands that he’d met through his work and even some stories about drugs and parties he’d been to. At this point, I had never been to a party, so he was probably the most interesting person I’d ever met. 

me: i’ve actually never been to a party before, it’s just not really my scene. i’m the type to stay home and watch movies

george: Really? I’ll take you to one sometime soon, I think you’d like it.

me: that sounds cool to me… do you smoke?

george: I do. What other drugs do you do?

me: just the weed, i can’t really do other drugs, got family history of schizophrenia. so i’m not super into trying any of the psychedelics

george: Oh cool, I probably shouldn’t do them honestly. 

me: what about you?

george: I microdose molly from time to time. I really like it. I don’t really do drugs everyday, but I do them somewhat often because my coworkers are into them.

me: what’s the molly like?

george: Oh it’s amazing. It makes everything so lovey and beautiful. I like doing it and watching TV or something like that. 

me: that’s dope, sounds appealing.

We talked about our life situations for about an hour, and it was the first time that my ex hadn’t been brought up in a conversation in months (it’s embarrassing, i know). He ended up having to go pick up molly in the middle of our date and invited me to come with him and check out the place he works. He works at this cool record label where he packs orders. He’s pretty successful with it, since he’s a supervisor in his department. 

In the car, we didn’t really speak much. Mainly just listened to music and made small talk about whatever song came up next. I had never heard any of the music he played, but I loved every single song. After he had dropped off his drug money and picked up his stuff, he drove me to the record label. 

george: You have a record player and like two records. I’m embarrassed for you, so I’m going to get you some of those and some CD’s. 

me: you really don’t have to do that, i’d feel bad if you gave me anything!

george: Don’t feel bad, they’re free for me too. I’m not paying for them, so it’s all fine. 

me: i don’t like gifts

george: You’ll like these.

So he walked me into the headquarters of the record label. 

It was dark and empty, so I felt alive. My stomach had butterflies, and it all felt like a dream. The walls were an off-white, and the flooring was made of this weird carpet-y tile. He grabbed me by the hand and led me deeper into the office, towards the kitchen.

george: want anything?

me: water is fine

george: are you sure you don’t  want a beer or anything? we have sparkling water too, have something

me: gross, sparkling water! no beer for me either. i’m really fine with water. 

george: suit yourself, but i’m going to have a beer.

He was driving, so the beer kind of made me nervous, but I was sure it would be fine. He just made me feel that way. He was so sure of himself, so I was sure of him. 

george: let me show you where i hang out here. 

He led me towards the back, a hole in the wall. It was pitch-black in the warehouse until he turned the lights on. Surrounding me were aisles of records and a little station meant for packing orders. On this station, there were lots of photos and stickers. I even saw a photo of a naked lady, which made me a little uncomfortable since I knew that he was the primary person that worked here. I ignored the yucky feeling building up in my chest.

george: so let’s get you set up. 

He walked through the warehouse, jumping up and down the huge metal shelves that held thousands of boxes. 

He picked out about sixty vinyls, ten or fifteen CDs, and a couple books. As he did this, he gave me his opinions on whether or not he think I’d like them based on what he’d seen of my music taste. When I didn’t recognize an artist, he would fake gasp and tell me about how amazing the record was and how I needed to listen to it. 

george: you know what’s fun here?

me: i actually don’t, what is it?

george: hide and seek. but in the dark. 

me: i am so afraid of the dark, that sounds awful.

George went over to the light switch and turned it off. I stood there awkwardly, trying not to think of how large the warehouse was in the dark. He walked back over to me and grabbed me lightly by the arms.

george: don’t worry about the dark, i’m here, you’re safe. 

me: promise?

george: i promise. 

Then, he tilted my chin up. He lightly kissed my cheek and then turned my face to his. He kissed me, and it tasted like beer. I had never enjoyed the taste of beer, but in that moment, it was my favorite drink. 

There we were, kissing in the dark. He grabbed me by my waist, carefully groping me. It felt like I knew what he wanted, but I didn’t want to mess up our good thing with sex. I ended up telling my roommates about this later, and they were surprised that I didn’t have sex with him considering how highly I had been speaking of him. 

We made out in the dark of the warehouse, and it felt like everything had fallen into place. Was I in love? I knew I shouldn’t be, but I was at the very least infatuated by the end of our date. We kissed a lot more, and then he took me home.

When I got into bed that night, I put on one of George’s records and couldn’t keep myself from blushing while thinking about the sweetest moments of my night.  


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
222 Reviews


Points: 608
Reviews: 222

Donate
Sat Oct 02, 2021 4:55 pm
MissGangamash wrote a review...



Okay, I got an icky feeling throughout reading this whole thing. If that was intended, well done!

There were so many red flags with George and the MC that weren't too obvious. They were very well slipped in there so that people may not even notice. Which is how a lot of people end up in bad relationships.

At first, when the MC mentioned that she was sleeping around after a break up but what getting annoyed at all the guys I was like... girl... you're gay, haha. And now she's chosen George of all people, I am still convinced she's gay.

Taking her to get Molly the first day meeting? Red flag.

Asserting himself into her life and getting her gifts after she explicitly said she didn't like gifts? Red flag.

Drinking a beer when he's driving them? Red flag.

Turning the lights off when they're in a place she doesn't know with a person she doesn't know after she said she was afraid of the dark? MAJOR RED FLAG. Girl, RUN!

Anyway, I am intrigued on how this turns out. I hope she's safe.

Let me know when the next part is up :D




User avatar
47 Reviews


Points: 251
Reviews: 47

Donate
Sat Sep 25, 2021 6:59 pm
LilPWilly says...



Wow intriguing.
I'm at a christian school, so this sort of stuff doesn't really happen.
Im honestly surprised you went with him to all these shady spots lol but I feel like I probably give off a similar vibe. I took a date out to the side of the road, just out of view, where it was completely dark, got out of the car... and we watched the stars until she said, "just kiss me already..."
Girls tell me that they feel safe around me. So I usually pick up the traumatized.
Don't get me wrong, I like that. I've been through some pretty bad stuff myself, and I really start to care for someone when they open up to me. I also feel like the relationship becomes more honest and permanent. It never is permanent though.
The cute stuff is to die for.
I still listen to songs from an ex. They just don't feel the same after you realize they don't want you anymore.
This is my first semester, so we'll see how things go.
I wrote a short story about my first kiss, admittedly it wasn't that long ago lol
Check it out!




User avatar
2404 Reviews


Points: 254270
Reviews: 2404

Donate
Sat Sep 25, 2021 6:06 am
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!! Oooh and I see you joined recently!! Welcome to YWS!! I hope you enjoy it here!!

First Impression: Sooo...this was a pretty nice first part here. There was quite a bit going and you go through a slight rollercoaster of tension there especially towards the end. It definitely made for a pretty interesting read.

Anyway let's get right to it,

I would like to say that my life is uneventful. In some ways, that’s true. I wake up everyday, go to school, come back home, and talk to my roommates.

My roommates are nice. They’re easy to talk to. Most of our conversations consist of us complaining about the boys that come in and out of our lives—literally more often than not. We’re college girls; it’s to be expected. Over the past eleven months, my body count jumped from one to about twelve. I honestly can’t remember most of my hookups, but they’ve all been special in their own ways.


Hmm, a bit of a neutral start there, looks like mostly just a introduction to this main character her, and that's a decent point to start off on. It seems pretty good so far, the only thing I'd maybe point out is that body count sounds like you're talking about murders or something when this is clearly not that...soo...perhaps a different pair of words would be better there...unless of course this person actually kills all of these people...which would make this a whole other story...but also a very interesting story...so let's see xD.

With each person that I let into my life, there’s a pattern. I meet them on Tinder or Bumble. From there, I make sure that someone I’m close to knows them. They usually do honestly since I live in a small college town. Then, I invite them over, and we watch a movie or smoke or whatever young people do. Next, he moves in for the kiss, and my heart decides its fate. The fate is usually a short lived crush until I get pissed at them for breathing.

That is something I hate about myself. My patience is so thin with these boys, so I can hardly stand them after our third time hooking up. It’s happened eleven times. That feels really fast, but there is one boy that I just can’t get off of my mind.


Okay...judging from that for a second I was scared that the killing thing was what actually happened, when this one described how they got pissed at the boys...but it appears that they're all still alive.

His name is George. He’s got dark skin and tattoos. A smile that I would kill to see again. His lips are puffy and just “oh-so-kissable”. When I’m around him, I feel as though I’m on top of the world. My tummy gets all bubbly, and I can never keep myself from smiling. He’s got the best energy.

George and I’s relationship started off on Tinder. I was working at a nearby Old Navy, and George texted me while I was working one day.


Hmm...looks like this is headed in a relatively wholesome direction there with this person that hasn't really been able to find anyone, perhaps finally starting to meet someone that they feel a bit more for.

me: i love ur smile, ur so cute (which i totally believed)

george: Thank you, I think your hair is really pretty

me: thank you! your taste in music is also bomb, i absolutely love it

george: Thanks, I don’t really have a choice but to listen to music all day. I’m surrounded by it where I work

me: that’s pretty cool, i’m stuck listening to the top 40 at old navy, i’ve really just been folding shirts all day


Hmm...seems like a generic first conversation, fairly realistic I think...I don't think I've been part of a such a conversation, so I couldn't really tell ya :D

He never did. He’s the type of person that says that he’ll show up, but he never does. The next night, we decided to hang out. It was a late night in June, and I was still in shambles after my first big breakup in April. I’m honestly not sure that I’m over that ex, but I feel as though I’ll move on eventually. It’s just hard when it’s your first big relationship.


Well...this took a turn for the worse rather fast. This description for how George never shows up when he says he will isn't sounding like a step towards a very good direction.

George came over, and he was even cuter than his Tinder profile led me to believe. He has thick black dreads that fall just around his ears, clear skin, and the best attitude. We sat and chatted for a bit, and it was the first time that I had actually been extremely interested in one of the guys I had been seeing. He told me stories about bands that he’d met through his work and even some stories about drugs and parties he’d been to. At this point, I had never been to a party, so he was probably the most interesting person I’d ever met.


And we oscillate back towards the good side of things once again. I wonder where this is going to end up...

We talked about our life situations for about an hour, and it was the first time that my ex hadn’t been brought up in a conversation in months (it’s embarrassing, i know). He ended up having to go pick up molly in the middle of our date and invited me to come with him and check out the place he works. He works at this cool record label where he packs orders. He’s pretty successful with it, since he’s a supervisor in his department.

In the car, we didn’t really speak much. Mainly just listened to music and made small talk about whatever song came up next. I had never heard any of the music he played, but I loved every single song. After he had dropped off his drug money and picked up his stuff, he drove me to the record label.


Okay...not entirely sure where this is going to end up going with all the talk of drugs, but it looks like despite that earlier statement about him never showing up, things actually somewhat managed to go in a relatively good direction with the two having found some sort of common ground here.

george: You have a record player and like two records. I’m embarrassed for you, so I’m going to get you some of those and some CD’s.

me: you really don’t have to do that, i’d feel bad if you gave me anything!

george: Don’t feel bad, they’re free for me too. I’m not paying for them, so it’s all fine.

me: i don’t like gifts

george: You’ll like these.


That actually sounds like a pretty nice thing to do...hmm...I can't help but feel a tiny bit uneasy about how well this is going...I feel like something going this well at the start of a story is destined to crash and burn quite horrible in the not too distant future, but we shall see I suppose.

So he walked me into the headquarters of the record label.

It was dark and empty, so I felt alive. My stomach had butterflies, and it all felt like a dream. The walls were an off-white, and the flooring was made of this weird carpet-y tile. He grabbed me by the hand and led me deeper into the office, towards the kitchen.


Umm...slightly confused, does the office have a kitchen?? Not that I've ever been in a office before, but I feel like for a record label something office, a kitchen doesn't seem like it would really be necessary? I could be wrong, but it just sounds off.

george: want anything?

me: water is fine

george: are you sure you don’t want a beer or anything? we have sparkling water too, have something

me: gross, sparkling water! no beer for me either. i’m really fine with water.

george: suit yourself, but i’m going to have a beer.


Okay...well this is actually starting to sound just the tiniest bit awkward and creepy now...I don't like the place this conversation sounds like its going towards...and the thoughts of

He was driving, so the beer kind of made me nervous, but I was sure it would be fine. He just made me feel that way. He was so sure of himself, so I was sure of him.

george: let me show you where i hang out here.

He led me towards the back, a hole in the wall. It was pitch-black in the warehouse until he turned the lights on. Surrounding me were aisles of records and a little station meant for packing orders. On this station, there were lots of photos and stickers. I even saw a photo of a naked lady, which made me a little uncomfortable since I knew that he was the primary person that worked here. I ignored the yucky feeling building up in my chest.


Well...yup, the creepiness factor is rapidly climbing and showing no signs whatsoever of coming down anytime soon here...this is definitely a lovely slow buildup of unease and tension that you've got going here.

He picked out about sixty vinyls, ten or fifteen CDs, and a couple books. As he did this, he gave me his opinions on whether or not he think I’d like them based on what he’d seen of my music taste. When I didn’t recognize an artist, he would fake gasp and tell me about how amazing the record was and how I needed to listen to it.

george: you know what’s fun here?

me: i actually don’t, what is it?

george: hide and seek. but in the dark.

me: i am so afraid of the dark, that sounds awful.


Oh yeah..nope, nope, alarm bells ringing very loudly in a lot of places. Ahh, I can almost feel the tension having built up to this spot, and it looks like this is about to get released all in one horrible situation at the end.

George went over to the light switch and turned it off. I stood there awkwardly, trying not to think of how large the warehouse was in the dark. He walked back over to me and grabbed me lightly by the arms.

george: don’t worry about the dark, i’m here, you’re safe.


Well...I'm still not convinced this is going to end well...

We made out in the dark of the warehouse, and it felt like everything had fallen into place. Was I in love? I knew I shouldn’t be, but I was at the very least infatuated by the end of our date. We kissed a lot more, and then he took me home.

When I got into bed that night, I put on one of George’s records and couldn’t keep myself from blushing while thinking about the sweetest moments of my night.


Aaaand...tension released...hmm, really felt like that was building towards something, there were a lot of warning signs for something potentially horrible to happen, but apparently it all went really well in the end. Well, that is...curious. I wonder why you'd go ahead and build up so much in the negative direction, only to have it all get immediately released. Do I smell foreshadowing? At any rate, this ending took me quite a bit by surprise.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, as far as the start to a story goes, this is pretty well done. I barely had a couple of nitpicks to point out. I do have something slightly major there, besides that one text conversation at the start, the ones that follow if they're meant to be live dialogue, this isn't really how you do that. You need the whole "Blah blah blah," said Example style rather than this which is more suited to something like a play. :D

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry





The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.
— H. L. Mencken