Published December 24, 2010
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139,346 Literary Works • 672,539 Reviews
It would be a great poem!
i enjoyed the lyrics but i wouldn't really class this as a song, i would class this as a poem of some sort if you changed it around this would be a great poem. just do a few a just ments an this would be perfect, just watch the grammer when writting anything.
I like the lyrics. I thought it was popish or pop rock. Ill be honest actually had no idea where the melody or the beat is (well there isn’t any). My point is try to form some kind of a beat in your lyrics. When i read yours it was kind of random and I tried to put it into a beat and it was really hard to make one. Next time try to do this.
The lyrics were good and very energetic...For some reason I felt like a girl should sing this...
The rhyming was very simple and I liked it. Keep up the good work! Try this next time for your new lyrics. Send me a message when you make a new one.