deleted

by undeadbunnie

Published December 24, 2010

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Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
cupcake
Review
cupcake wrote a review Review · Dec 25, 2010

Charlii101 wrote:i enjoyed the lyrics but i wouldn't really class this as a song, i would class this as a poem of some sort if you changed it around this would be a great poem. just do a few a just ments an this would be perfect, just watch the grammer when writting anything.

It would be a great poem!

User avatar
Charlii101
Review
Charlii101 wrote a review Review · Dec 24, 2010

i enjoyed the lyrics but i wouldn't really class this as a song, i would class this as a poem of some sort if you changed it around this would be a great poem. just do a few a just ments an this would be perfect, just watch the grammer when writting anything.

User avatar
noobPunk
Review
noobPunk wrote a review Review · Dec 24, 2010

I like the lyrics. I thought it was popish or pop rock. Ill be honest actually had no idea where the melody or the beat is (well there isn’t any). My point is try to form some kind of a beat in your lyrics. When i read yours it was kind of random and I tried to put it into a beat and it was really hard to make one. Next time try to do this.

The lyrics were good and very energetic...For some reason I felt like a girl should sing this... :D
The rhyming was very simple and I liked it. Keep up the good work! Try this next time for your new lyrics. Send me a message when you make a new one.



I want to see people turn and writhe; make them feel things they cannot see and sometimes do not know.
— Anna Held