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E - Everyone

i exist but im considered useless

by ummwhat


Surrounding ocean with a pale gray sky 

the lonely iceberg that feels the cold  

loud crickets make my ears bleed deep

middle child I am, nothing more or less

Scorch of the star yet still cold blooded 

others filled with emotions and flowers

so cramped till things turn monotoned

the cold pizza crust, hard and bothersome

Suffocated atmosphere and chilling ankles

famous painting in a museum, strict 

blindfolded sharp sight seeking for validation

lifeless bloom thrown, expectations and standards

Endless staring waiting for a korero

the dirty socks aren't clean anymore

absent craving I want chocolate

outdated technology, not working and simple

Gloomy self-centered day, you to blame 

the loop is the same every time

it's not okay to not feed my pet

broken balloon that'll never pop


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Points: 288
Reviews: 1

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Tue Nov 16, 2021 7:38 am
11719 wrote a review...



Surrounding ocean with a pale gray sky
the lonely iceberg that feels the cold
loud crickets make my ears bleed deep
middle child I am, nothing more or less

The way you used the environment to describe the way you feel was smart.

Scorch of the star yet still cold blooded
others filled with emotions and flowers
so cramped till things turn monotoned
the cold pizza crust, hard and bothersome

Suffocated atmosphere and chilling ankles
famous painting in a museum, strict
blindfolded sharp sight seeking for validation
lifeless bloom thrown, expectations and standards

Social customs/standards are hard to meet and the way you have portrayed it is tangible.

Endless staring waiting for a korero
the dirty socks aren't clean anymore
absent craving I want chocolate
outdated technology, not working and simple

I like how you mentioned these things as it shows the simple things that we want in our life.

Gloomy self-centered day, you to blame
the loop is the same every time
it's not okay to not feed my pet
broken balloon that'll never pop

Personally I do not understand the last two lines, but I believe it is so true how we blame bad luck for such boredom and dullness.

Conclusion: A very nice piece of writing that accurately explains the subject line. 3.5 out of 5 (if it rhymed a bit, it may have been better)




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60 Reviews


Points: 143
Reviews: 60

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Mon Nov 01, 2021 12:30 pm
AriesBookworm wrote a review...



Surrounding ocean with a pale gray sky

the lonely iceberg that feels the cold

loud crickets make my ears bleed deep

middle child I am, nothing more or less


I'm a middle child as well. The things other children will never understand. I love the description of the ocean as well as the sky.


Scorch of the star yet still cold blooded

others filled with emotions and flowers

so cramped till things turn monotoned

the cold pizza crust, hard and bothersome


It's hard to believe that anything to be warm in the dead of night. I used to jump on my trampoline at night until my feet became numb.


Suffocated atmosphere and chilling ankles

famous painting in a museum, strict

blindfolded sharp sight seeking for validation

lifeless bloom thrown, expectations and standards

Endless staring waiting for a korero


Sometimes we wonder what the point in our life is.


the dirty socks aren't clean anymore

absent craving I want chocolate

outdated technology, not working and simple

Gloomy self-centered day, you to blame

the loop is the same every time

it's not okay to not feed my pet

broken balloon that'll never pop


Overall: Great poem.




ummwhat says...


Thank you so much for the review! glad that you liked my description of the ocean and sky, something I personally am drawn to. But exactly, just the wonder of why we exist and the point of our life. This is my first writing piece posted so I'm glad you liked it!




Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.
— Lemony Snicket