Rain

twiggers wrote:Rain has many voices,
Those we cannot hear,
Though when we truly listen,
Whispers whislte with the wind.(the spelling is whistle)

Though many cannot understand,
Some have the heart to know,(i think you should start the line with but)
That the shwishhh of the rain and wind,(use only one of rain and wind as it will improve the flow of the poem)
is a secret yet to unfold.

Yet in the darkness when the voice is gone,
We are lost, scared and afraid,(these 2 lines were very beautiful)
But we must know, truly know in our hearts,(i think using just we must know truly in our hearts will sound better)
That our precious gift is only slowed, but not truley lost.(the spelling is wrong. it should be truly)

I really like it a lot. Maybe put the first stanza last, so the descriptions build, and lead up to the realization that this is all about rain?

Thank you. I wrote that peice quickly, and just came up with it as I went along. I love rain, the way it's so fragile and elegant, but the strongest peice of nature... I love to dance in the rain when there's a down-pour, It strenghthens the spirit and soul... Thanks again...

This poem is beautiful. You have chosen a wonderful part of nature to describe and have definitly done it justice. You tied it up nicely at the end. I also like how it is only a short poem; less is more in this case. So well done and best wishes for future poetry
-Blossom xx

Oh, what a lovely piece.

I personally love the second stanza. It smoothed along great with the poem.

I can't think of anything wrong with this, so that's good!

I really liked it, it seems sad and happy at the same time. Well to me anyways :L

Good luck

x