the best part
about hearing
seven rings
at 3:09 in the morning was
when you
finally
answered
the best part was
hearing your voice
telling me
in your quiet, cynical, murmur
"
i'm here
"
the best part
was the sigh that
escaped
my lips because
that was really
the best
part
you were there
"
i'm here
"
you told me
and there you were
only seven rings
away
the worst part
was when
you told me
"
i can't stay
"
the worst part
was
the dial tone
the worst part
was
the silence
the worst part
is that i am
still
calling
the worst part
is waiting for
seven rings
and not even
getting
one
the worst part
is knowing you can't
hear me
when i whisper
"
i'm here
"
-j.p.d
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139,656 Literary Works • 672,645 Reviews
I really just adored this poem. I wanted to cry, but I also wanted to read it seven times over, again and again. It makes me long for everyone I've left or that's left me behind. I just really loved everything about it. I love how you didn't capitalize anything because to me it showed a sense of innocence. And I love the way you spaced it, short and wistful.
Amazing poem.
-Percybeth
This is really amazing coming from you. I constantly re-read Three Hundred and Sixty Five Days and it was that particular poem that gave me the motivation to write this one. So thank you, really. Thank you so much. x
-JPD
That means the world to me. I've always wanted to inspire someone I never knew, and I did. Thank you, I'm literally at a lost of words. Wow. <3
Sphealwithit here....
This poem confused me at the start but eventually I think I understand it.
The tone definitely seems sombre with a hint of longing
I was reading it and I swear I got the chills from it.
"Is knowing you cant here me" This line is my favourite but its also just so sad :c
Anyways keep up the good work
Sphealwithit out...
Sorry for the confusion but thank you for such positive feedback. It really means a lot. Have a great weekend x
JPD
You to
Hello I'm Gabby ! Um I'm not good at reviewing and because of this is the reason why I don't review a lot. However, your poem deserves a review. It was literally breath taking! I was confused in the beginning , but you already fixed it by replying to another user on YWS . This poem is really beautiful I must say! I got chills at the end. It was like I could feel the emotion pouring off the page! Keep up the good work! I really love the part of poem when you put
"..the worst part is knowing you can't hear me when I whisper , ' I'm here'."
Ugh it just gives me chills and a sense of sadness, I love it!
Keep up the good work, again.
Thank you so much. Sorry for the confusion, I'm so new at this so sometimes when things make sense to me it's not really making sense to the reader. Thank you so much though for taking the time to review x
-JPD
Hi! I'm Alice and I'm here to review your poem!
Can I just say wow... this is fantastic!
There was one part that confused me, in the beginning you say:
"the best part
about hearing
seven rings
at 3:09 in the morning was
when you
finally
answered "
At first I thought someone was calling the narrator, but then you say "when you finally answered" is the narrator calling the "you" person?
I love the ending. It gives me chills. This is a great poem!
~Alice
Thank you so much Alice! Sorry for the confusion, but yes, the narrator is speaking to the "you" person. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment!
-J.C.D
No problem! It's a great poem!