Published October 16, 2005
To streaks, with love!
It all started at the hair-salon,
Where we first met!
As i saw you perched on
My tresses set...
It sure was love at first sight,
On my brown tufts your golden highlight!
At the saturday night party,
you gallantly flaunt yourself
to every onlookers envy!
and as you bounced to kiss my ears,
the jealous company out there was moved to tears.
It sure was love at first sight,
On my brown tufts your golden highlight!
Once on my bed,
I bound you with
the chains of love
into a silent bun,
o! but you naughty streak,
quietly descended to my sleeve
rubbing yourself to my back,
and it felt so lovely..i was taken aback!
It sure was love at first sight,
On my brown tufts your golden highlight!
As morning set fire on the horizon of life,
I said goodbye to goodnight.
I noticed you in the glass hanging with grace,
you touched me before the water could touch my face.
it sure was love at first sight,
on my brown tufts your golden highlight!
But o! every love has to end.
the shower wrapped in anguish rubbed you
off my hair..i am afraid forever.
o god! it was temporary, hence transient.
alas! for a few bucks more
I could have got you for a little longer,
I was greedy in love..thats why it remained unripe..
Oh! how much i lament.
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-torsa
A poem about streaks?
It wasn't too bad so I did like it.
Hmm a poem about streaks.
This wasn't that bad to be honest, I mostly liked it from the second stanza, the first one wasn't as good as the others.
Also I like the title, reminds me of James Bond.
Have to admit, not sure on the beginning, but as you go on it's actually quite good. As long as you're being ironic which I'll assume you are!
Wow... um someone's in love with their highlights. Try getting them permanently next time.
OK, if you're going to ryhme in the first stanza (which was a good effect) then you can't sporatically not ryhme/ ryhme later in the poem. Maybe its just me, but I really do not like it when you alternate between ryhming and not ryhming.
I liked your ending, though. It was kind of sweetly funny (if that's possible). Good job on that. Try changing your wording up and bit and it can be even better.