Disappearing Hate

by tman1998

Published May 5, 2009

Hate is a devious thing.
It boils and burns inside of you.
Your thoughts are no longer pleasant.
They are now angry and even suicidal.
All you want to do is get out of this miserable world.
But if you try,
God will expel the hate from your life;
And hope will enter

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
Sins
Review
Sins wrote a review Review · May 8, 2009

I really liked this!

It was rather depressing and short but I still loved it. It was dramatic and it really made me think about what you were saying.

I'm not a very good critique so I wouldn't take my review to seriously! But even though that is true I will try to do the best I can to review you poem!

This poem was great in my opinion. It's full diffirent feelings. It was truly gripping and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

It almost felt as if I was the main character of your poem and I absolutely love it when a poem or a story has that effect on me.

The first few lines of the poem was an excellent opener and you did do something that many other poets find hard to do by saying little but saying a lot. You should definitely be proud of that!

I didn't really understand the poem much but that is only because I'm not very good at reviewing and I get confused easily. The better the poem the more I seem to not understand it!

Overall, I adored your poem!

I can't wait to read more!

Keep writing

Meg x-x

Brown Eyed Girl wrote a review Review · May 7, 2009

Hey,

Great poem. It's short and to the point and that makes it very appealing to me. Maybe another verse would just top it off nicely maybe a contrast to the emotion or sum imagery would be great. I like how the lines flow it's beautifully written.

Fellow newbe if you wanna share tips I'm here!

great poem again see you around

Brown Eyed Girl xxx

User avatar
Kiki
Review
Kiki wrote a review Review · May 6, 2009

Such a short poem! But for this one I think it works. <3 Very nicely stated and I enjoyed it. Just watch the caps on some words.

Oh! Welcome to YWS! <3 *huggles* You get hugs from me for being new =D

Don't forget to review other's work before posting another poem ..or anything else you write <3 It's just a nice thing to do. Enjoy!

heart_of_the_artist commented Comment · May 5, 2009

It was good, just remember to change youre upper and lower cases on letters.
Personally I usually don't care about the length of a poem, but this one could almost use a little more to it. Just my opinion.
Well done otherwise.



"Storybooks and roleplays are just for fun!" To which I say: of course! But why only "just"? Sometimes fun is found in the full-send. Sometimes fun is found in taking it seriously, and aiming to do it with excellence!
— soundofmind