chapter 8

decided to put up chapter 8 anyway

This chapter is weird but it was so damn much fun writing

Chapter 8: I want a damn challenge is that too hard for you to understand?

Where do I start here? I mean, seriously, I don’t know. It is so hard to fully explain what happened, which is surprising, isn’t it? I mean, after all that has already happened, explaining another strange happening shouldn’t be that hard, should it? But, well, ok, I’ll explain it all the best I can, but don’t tell me I am wrong. I mean, just because what I am about to tell you isn’t scary, it doesn’t mean it didn’t scare me half to death.

So, ok, I wake and do the usual shower and I sit down to wait for the planet Alopet to come into view, as it was my next stop. I had the intention of giving those dinosaurs a real damn piece of my mind, to put it one way. The real way of putting it was, a good old chainsaw would like to have a little talk to them!

So, I sit there for five hours and the planet doesn’t come into view. I know that it should be invisible, but I was able to see the other planets, even though they were meant to be invisible. Naturally, I was wondering what was going on cause I hadn’t hit anything yet either. All I could see was endless space. I checked the map and saw I was directly at the location of the planet. I took the controls and went up and down to see if I would crash into anything, but I didn’t. So I went left and right to which still nothing happened. I was kind of pissed. If someone had destroyed the damn planet before and instead of me, I will eventually have their head. Shall I correct that? I did eventually get their head well I kinda didn’t. Well, I’ll explain when we get up to there, ay? Sound like a plan? Goodie, then continue fuckers!

So, after vowing vengeance to the prick responsible, I decided I needed a bit of a skill upgrade because, seriously, that second killing spree was lame for my standards. I mean, yes, it seemed fun, but it was not even close to a challenge because in the end they all ran. Well half did, the other half fought but shitly. At least on Wanglang, they fought against me, not with mental brutality, but they still fought. I needed to fight something that didn’t show fear, didn’t care about death, didn’t even show mercy and most of all something that was brutal. So, naturally, I went in to have a little game.

I told myself I needed a little change of pace and a new setting for my action to take place in. I decided to go for an outer space game and I opted not to take a weapon. Sounds very funny, don’t it? So, in I went to the virtual reality room and I started up the game. I put on a space suit, as in the game I can ‘die’, and started into the room.

As soon as I entered the room the floor disappeared and I started to float upwards. I was floating in blackness that was partly lit up by the stars around me. I waited for ten minutes but nothing had attacked me yet. Amy probably set it up like this, when she created it. She was always one who made sure if you are going to fight, then don’t stand in one place waiting for something to come after you. Her favorite direction is south, so that was the direction I floated in, or what I thought was south. It is kinda hard to tell when you don’t know what direction you even came in to begin with.

As I floated, I noticed the stars and how much detail they have. It was perfect. Even when you went up close to one, you felt like you were burning up. I floated along for five minutes then I finally heard a sound. Looking in the distance I saw something very small. It was a parrot. It flew towards me and landed on my shoulder, “Did you think this was going to end so quickly? Oh no, you have a long while to go! Qwark. Watch your step,” it said to me and rose off me to fly away into a star. Not thinking anything strange of the stupid parrot, I floated forward. After floating one centimetre, I started to drop.

“You should have watched your step. Now, you will have to pay the price for going against the parrot’s wishes,” Said a booming voice around me as I fell deeper into darkness.

I finally stopped falling and landed onto nothing. I walked forward to make sure it was solid, which it was. I looked around to see if anything was coming. After going a full 360 I was pushed onto the ground. My view was blocked; as I was covered by something. I kicked forward and heard a groan. I felt the pressure, keeping me pinned down, loosen so I kicked again. I heard another groan and after one more kick the thing was off me. I got to my feet and looked at what turned out to be a knight. “That bloody hurt. Fuck mate! Right in the nuts,” he said still clutching his balls.

“You think that hurts?” I asked as I walked towards his head. “Tell me if this hurts!” I said as I crushed his skull with my foot. “THAT THE BEST YOU GOT? I WANTED A DAMN CHALLENGE! NOW, ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE ME ONE OR AM I GOING TO HAVE TO COME IN AND MAKE YOU GIVE ME ONE, ASSHOLE?” I screamed while turning in a circle around the room. “I MEAN, ONE DAMN KNIGHT? THAT IS BULLSHIT. YOU SAID I HAVE TO PAY. YEAH, I PAID ALRIGHT. ASSHOLE.”

“It will be done,” a voice boomed. As it said this, I felt a big crash all around me, but I saw nothing. I reached my hand out to feel it touch something scaly. I heard a roar from in front of me.

“Holy shit,” I said as I felt heat erupt above my head. I jumped up and felt something swipe at my leg. Looking through the darkness at my leg I saw a big claw mark. “I hate fucking dragons,” I screamed as I felt another scratch on my leg.

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Not from Tigs memory Part 2: Not a Chapter

“He is only up to the damn dragons? He said he wanted a challenge, how is he doing?”

“Oh, he is getting there, he has only taken out one, but he did a good kick to it, crushed its skull!”

“One? How damn lame, I would’ve at least thought the five hundred in there would be down to half by now. Well, he has a long way to go,”

“Do you think we should help him? I mean, hand him some weapons or something?”

“Why? He asked for a challenge thus he doesn’t want help. Let’s just sit back and enjoy it, ok?”

“Sure.”

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Back to Tigs memory

So, that was two hundred and fifty taken out by then. How many more of these fuckers am I gonna have to fight? I asked myself. I knew I had asked for a challenge, but I really despise dragons. I knew there was still a lot more left because of that atmosphere. It was silent. Very silent. Silence is never good as it is always a trick.

Suddenly, I heard voices. They sounded like roars, but they were whispers. I cracked up as I realized the dragons were whispering among themselves. My laughter seemed to annoy them as I suddenly felt very hot. I was on fire of course I mean duhh. This only bought me into hysterics again. I was on the floor by then, due to the laughter, when I felt the wind of a foot about to hit my head. I rolled out of the way and felt it slam right next to me. I got up on my knees and swung out my face in a bite to where the foot had landed. A roar came from directly above me, but I continued to dig my mouth in deeper. Finally I felt the leg, I had bitten into, detach itself from the dragon. I reached around in the darkness and finally found it. I picked it up and started hitting myself to remove the flames. Finally, the heat ceased from my body. I looked around the darkness. It was me and two hundred and fifty dragons, one with missing a leg.

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Not from Tigs Memory: Part 3

“What in God’s name? He has now ripped off a dragon’s leg and is using the foot to claw the brains out. He is a sick bastard.”

“Yes, we already know that, don’t we? So, he is nearly finished? I always knew he was a smart one. Well, let’s get the next part set up? I really wonder how he is going to beat this. I mean, he asked for a challenge, but this is absolutely unbeatable.”

“Yes, I know, but knowing him, he will find a way out of it. Too bad he only dies in the game if he loses huh? One day it will be for real.”

“Yes, one day. It is such a shame but…”

“Yes, I know but it must be done. Ok, he’s finished with the dragons. We can’t say he isn’t a damn smart one!”

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Back again to Tigs Memory

“I SAID I WANTED A DAMN CHALLENGE! IS THAT TOO HARD TO ASK? THAT WAS NOT A CHALLENGE! THAT WAS PANSY SHIT! YOU GUYS SUCK! FIRST, YOU DON’T TELL ME ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING AND NOW YOU WON’T EVEN GIVE ME A CHALLENGE! NOW, GIVE ME A CHALLENGE BECAUSE I AM WARNING YOU!” I bellowed to whoever the Hell was out there. I was at boiling point by now. Seriously, I was considering suicide; the only problem was my immortality.

“STEP FORWARD, RIGHT DAMN NOW! YOU WANT A CHALLENGE? THE DRAGONS NOT GOOD ENOUGH A CHALLENGE FOR YOU? YOU JUST WAIT!” the voice told me.

“Yeah, I believed that just a little while ago when you stuck me with dragons. Can I have something harder?” I walked forward expecting to fall, which I did. I smiled at this. Too predictable! I told myself. As I fell I was actually praying that something hard was coming up. I felt myself land on solid darkness. I stood there for a minute waiting. Suddenly the floor flipped me and I fell onto my back on the ground. When I landed, I heard metal chains crawling on the floor towards me. I tried to get up, but my back was in absolute pain (game pain). Finally, the chains stopped moving. I noticed why when I tried to move my hands. Very cute I thought - chains. Oh God, they just aren’t trying, are they? There better be something evil coming in here.

After a minute, I heard a familiar sound. I smiled as a whole group of ogres entered the room with chainsaws. I mean, what is this? Dumb time? I mean, yes I was chained down, but still, chainsaws? My favourite weapon. Here is how it went. I pulled with all my might on the chains, which weren’t that damn strong; they gave away like they were nothing. I stood up and felt around and finally found a head. With all my strength I slammed the head down onto the chainsaw the ogre was carrying. Seriously, can they get any more stupid?

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Yep, Part 4, you know it, good buddies

“Seriously, can we get anymore stupid? It was your stupid idea about the fucking chainsaws. You know he is a damn master at using them. What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know! I thought the chains would hold him and ogres would then slice and dice,”

“But they are fucking ogres, the stupidest things around. They wouldn’t know what to do with a damn chainsaw. They probably fuck them instead of kill with them. I mean, seriously, this is your entire fault.”

“Yes, I know, I am taking full responsibility. How many left?”

“Ten left after five hundred. One day I’ll get you for this mistake!”

“You can try to, but I seriously doubt it.”

“Oh, do you, now? Just wait!”

“Wait for what?”

“Wait for the end,”

“YEAH, CAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR STUPID PLAN! I MEAN FOR FUCK SAKE, PUTTING THE GUY IN A ROOM FULL OF THE STUPIDEST CREATURES WITH HIS MOST LOVED WEA--”

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Back again again?

Fucking idiots they are seriously. I had finally killed the last ogre. So, while standing there waiting for something to happen, I heard some loud voices coming from in front of me. I swung the chainsaw in front of me to find a small room only home to a table and a TV screen, with a door on the back wall. The voices had stopped and I looked in. I saw Joey standing in front of me and Amy was lying down on the ground, her head half coming off. I turned off the chainsaw and bent down to look at Amy. I saw in the gap between her head and neck were wires. “A fucking robot. Seriously, all this shit better have meaning.” I turned on the chainsaw and chopped the robot into pieces. I turned to Joey and did the same. “Who the fuck sent those things? Oh, the Hell with it, I am never gonna get answers am I?” But I did; I felt a tapping on my leg and I saw the fairy, Nick, standing next to me. It pointed towards the wall, which now had writing on it.

They are robots sent by the people on Tylon. They were sent here to try and destroy you. They had a plan to change you from immortal to mortal so they could kill you for real. The people on your home planet have changed from the ones you love. Do not give in to them when you go back! They will try everything to trick you into their trust. You only have one choice of what to do. They turned me into a fairy because I tried to stop them from doing all of this. Farewell, Tigs, and remember do not trust any of them. I looked back down and the fairy was gone. For once, I was actually happy. I mean, finally I got an answer, even if it wasn’t the type of answer I was looking for.

Well, I had only one thing in mind now - death to Tylon. I never thought about the future and what would happen because I created the damn future and it was my choice of what it became I mean I used to believe in fate but I don’t think anyone controlling my fate would’ve let all this shit happen to one person. I went through the door and found that I was back in the cockpit. It seems I had walked through the control panel. Strangest thing ever. After this I took off my space suit, which was still on me - strangely still intact(anything is possible in my story ay) - and went for a shower. Finally I retired to bed, because what happened next needed my full attention.