chapter 11 and 12

Again 11 is long 12 is short, I'm uploading them cause :S it seems no ones reviewing but people are reading so I guess people still hold interest?

My best friends fave bit in this is when I insult them for worshipping a bottle

Chapter 11: This is the end, well, as you know it!

It happens too many times, doesn’t it? Not just getting knocked out, but everything. Ever since this damn trip it has been so weird. Life isn’t meant to be normal, but this is the most unusual shit that has happened to me in the ten thousand plus years of being alive.

Ok, so here is what happened: Once Tylon was gone and I mean gone, that lava went through it so damn quick the whole thing disappeared so fast, such beautiful work. Once Tylon was gone, I decided not to waste time and to just go on with the other planets. I went to the correct positions of all the other planets, but none of them were there except for one - Drilpold. It was sitting there all nice and cozy looking. NOT FOR LONG.

I continued and the ship drew closer to the planet. In my eyes it looked like Hell. It was a beautiful ice planet, but it just looked like it had gone to the dogs. Well, the dogs of Hell that is. I couldn’t imagine even destroying this planet and unknown to me at that point I actually didn’t, but that comes later.

So, I continue the ship downwards. Halfway down, I heard something around me that sounded like a rocket, which is what it was. I looked out the window and saw it flying towards me, next thing I know, I’m falling, wreckage surrounding me, down towards the beautiful blue oceans below. As I hit the ocean, I felt the force of the impact mixed with the near freezing temperature of the water. As I rose out of the water I could see beautiful animals, unknown to me, flying above, swimming in and even walking on the water. One, which looked like a mix between a duck, pig and elephant, came up to me and rubbed its head against my shoulder. As I petted it I could see spikes escaping its back even though the animal seemed pleased by my patting. I looked around for a sign of land, but nothing came to view. I waited around for any noise or something to give me a hint, but nothing came. So I dived under the water. It looked so strange under that water, dead bodies were floating around, other strange animals were swimming around and I could even see objects on fire in the water. I continued downwards, not even having to blink to see easier, and I finally got to the bottom.

As I hit the floor I looked around. Every direction was the same, except for the south, which had a strange light coming from about two kilometres away. Walking along I felt strangely calm, I love it when that happens. As I got closer to the light, I could hear some strange music, which I realized was coming from a building that looked like a church. I walked up the big stone steps and turned the brass knob on the door which opened easily. I stepped in and closed the door. Turning around I saw fifty people sitting down in prayer.

The building was one big blue room. It was a usual looking church except on the altar was a plastic bottle full of ice which the music was coming out of. The people were all sitting in front of the altar, heads bowed down. Stepping forward to make some sound to catch their attention; they looked up in alarm. They all rose slowly and walked towards me with big grins on all of their faces, “You are Tigs are you not?” the biggest, and most likely the leader, said.

“Yes, I am, do I know you?” I asked in surprise.

“No, but we know of you, we are happy you have finally arrived to put to rest Skillbi’s reign of terror!” He said and they all nodded in agreement.

“Who is Skillbi? Who are all of you? Why are you living at the bottom of the ocean? Why am I even asking, I mean, I haven’t even heard answers for the other questions,” I said to them, as I meant business.

“Ok,” the leader said raising his hand to my shoulder “we will tell you all you have asked us and nothing more. As for the answers to the questions you have always sought, we do not have. I wish we did, it would help us more, but we don’t.

“Ok, Skillbi is the leader of the universe. Every planet bows down to him. No one can say anything against him or they get destroyed. Your planet seemed to be immune to his power due to everyone’s immortality. He kept on wondering how he could try and destroy you immortals. Even his attacks on your buildings didn’t work; they seemed to be immortal too. And then he decided to fully overpower the other planets or possess them if you will. Isn’t that what happened? Isn’t that why you destroyed those planets? Because they attacked you? Well, that was his evil doing.

“However he isn’t as smart as he seems, is he? I mean, he set it up so they attacked you, but you are immortal. How he became leader of the universe is beyond me. You see, the reason we are down here is because when he took over our planet, we had to hide. Up on the surface if you badmouth him in any single way, he can sense it and you will be caught right away. Down here we can say whatever we want about him and nothing can catch us. We have the ability to breathe underwater naturally as we live on an ocean planet.

“He has tried to find us many times, but he cannot hear the music that leads one here like you could. You have been led here to help us get rid of that fucking bastard once and for all. Only you can destroy him with the beautiful bottle full of ice. It is our god and the only true way to destroy Skillbi. Please take it and do what is needed to be done. We will be forever in your debt for this. Go now, Tigs, and destroy that wretched shit.”

“Ok, but answer me two questions. That dude in the ship that paralyzed me, that was Skillbi? That prick! You’re damn right I’m gonna destroy him! Ever since that shit on the ship happened, my life has turned into one giant piece of crap. I will make him pay for all that he has done to me! This is revenge. MY SWEET FUCKING REVENGE!” I looked at them, after I said this, and expected them to be surprised, but no they looked perfectly happy at what I had said. I had a feeling they had said something close to it, themselves, many times.

The leader looked at me waiting for me to talk again, “What was the second question?” he asked, still looking at me with wonder.

“Oh yeah, did he control the people on my planet to attack me?”

“No, that was just their pent up feelings against you all these years getting released. Don’t take it to heart, I mean, some people love Skillbi and some, like us, don’t. It’s only natural when you become the head of something. I’m sure some of these pricks despise me. Fuck you all, if you do!” he said looking around at them.

“Fuck you, too king,” they all said back smiling.

“You see? These people down here, with me have love. We all don’t have to like each other, but we do love each other!”

Finally sick of hearing this lame bullshit, I walked towards the altar and they followed me. As I got closer to the bottle I saw a bright blue glow emitting from it. It was iced water, but it was too blue to be water. Maybe the church was adding that effect somehow. I picked it up and they all gasped. “You must be the true savior! Many have tried to lift up the bottle, but they have all turned to ice! In order to get to Skillbi’s palace, you must go to the surface and to the north of this church. There, you must call him whatever you like, and he will take you away.

“Then you must smash the bottle over his head and crush his skull. Then you must rip open his skull and shit in it and take a picture for us to hang on the city walls. He has power, yes, but you will defeat him, we know it, Tigs. Good luck, not that you’ll need it. Just make sure you destroy the prick,” the leader told me his eyes still on the bottle. He shook my hand and all the people lamely cheered, as I walked out of the church, bottle in hand. I was cheering too, inside; I had finally got out of that evil place. Worshiping a fucking bottle? Stupid pricks. Nevertheless, as the bottle was the only way to kill this person, then so be it. I had never used an ice bottle to destroy someone before, so I was praying that it was good. It looked very powerful, but could it destroy this fucker? Well, only time would tell.

I had never actually felt happy being out in the depths of the sea, but bottle worshipers were more than enough for me to want to run. I swam north like they had said and saw many more beautiful creatures on the way.

After fifteen minutes of swimming north, I realized I must be very close to land, because the water started becoming browner and uglier. The animals in this part of the sea were fucking evil looking. These were truly like nothing I had ever seen before. Only pure evil could’ve given these creatures this look. For once, in a long time, I felt pity for these animals and decided that the faster I killed this prick the better.

Five minutes after reaching these evil waters, I finally reached land. The look of the land was nothing better either; pure fucking evil. All the houses and trees and animals looked like Satan was king, and with all I know, he may well have been. I got closer and I swam around looking for somewhere to get to the surface.

I finally found a beach and walking towards it I found it was all black. I walked closer and found it was covered in dead crows, I mean, fully covered. Every step I took, I heard a crow crushing under my feet. I saw a path fifty meters in front of me that went up, so I walked towards and up the path. I continued on and ended up in a jungle, which looked pretty normal. I continued on more, but after taking two steps, a noise erupted from the distance. It sounded like a growl, but this was one evil growl. I heard someone or something running, and finally saw a black dog coming towards me.

It came up to me and stood on its hind legs. “I am Aimee, fucker. I have been sent to make sure you and your evil bottle never come close to my master. I am to rip your throat out and than tear you to pieces and eat you. You look delicious,” the dog said with big eyes and licking its lips it went back down to four feet. I looked at it and smiled.

“You’re as dumb as you are ugly, aren’t you, fucker?” I asked as I ripped my own throat out and shoved it back through my neck so I could swallow it. Blood gushed from the wound, but as I felt no pain I dipped my finger in it and licked it off. Opening my mouth in a big red smile, the dog stood there, jaw agape. “Your master does know I am immortal, then, doesn’t he?”

“Of course he does, but he didn’t realize what a sick fuck you are. You really are sick, Tigs. I am sorry, I must destroy something so evil, but my master’s words are more powerful than you,” it said taking an attacking stance and baring its big sharp teeth. I raised the bottle in my hands waiting for it to attack.

Suddenly, it looked directly behind me and started to scream. I laughed, but I wondered what the Hell could make a dog scream. I turned around and saw three animals - a tiger, a panda and a rabbit. They walked calmly towards me and hugged me. The tiger actually put its arms around my neck and purred. The panda was hugging my stomach and the rabbit was hugging my legs. They all broke away from me and smiled. Seeing a tiger smile was so strange, but it seemed quite comforting. The tiger who seemed like the leader, spoke, “The great and wonderful Tigs! We have been sent to help you destroy this evil dog. We have been waiting for this day for many years and finally it has come. I am BJ, this” she said pointing to the rabbit and panda, “is Lancu and Mirwall. We were sent by the goddess. She wishes to speak with you after the evil Skillbi has been destroyed. She will answer all of your questions, but until then, Skillbi must be destroyed. We can only aid you on this part of your short quest, but be fucking grateful that we are helping you at all” it said in complete rudeness. I picked up my bottle and smashed all the animals’ skulls.

I turned back to face the dog and saw it was completely petrified. Its eyes on the bottle, it turned and ran. I chased it for five minutes, until finally I did one big swing and broke its back legs. I walked up to the front of it and laughed. Its eyes followed the bottle for the last seconds of its life as I bought it down and smashed its head in so hard the eyes rolled out. I picked up the eyes and walked towards the back of the dog. Bending down I shoved the eyes up its ass. “Fucker, now you can look at your ass forever.”

I stood up and looked around. I heard another big noise and saw two more animals coming my way. “Fucking animals,” I screamed out as they came to a stop in front of me. A Rhino and elephant were standing in front of me.

“Tigs,” the rhino started, “We are Rachic and Meraulz, we were sent here to aid you on your short quest,” it continued.

“I’ve had enough of you fucking animals,” I said as I smacked them both on the head with the bottle. “I can do this shit all on my own. You send me any more animals, you goddess bitch, and I’ll track you down and destroy you in ways you can’t imagine!” I shouted turning in circles so every direction knew I was talking.

Starting back on my way, I stopped and listened in every direction. “Fucking right,” I said to myself and I heard nothing. I continued through the forest for what seemed like days, when I remembered something. “Fuck you, Skillbi, you cock smoking, shit eating, pig rapist, asshole, jack fucking, horseshitting, tree fucker,” as I said this, I heard a voice and was knocked out for the millionth fucking time.

Chapter 12: From what was Ternests memory but not from his view

Ternest flew down and hit Tigs on the head with an ice bottle. Tigs fell down slowly, and swore before closing his eyes into a deep sleep. He landed next to the body and pulled out a chainsaw. Starting it up he lifted it high and swung down towards the right arm, which came off easily. He walked towards the legs and cut them both off. He walked towards the other arm and swung down.

Suddenly he felt something stopping him. He looked down and saw Tigs with his arm raised. He winced from the pain and looked down to see the hand clenched around his balls. He looked at Tigs face, but the eyes were still closed. “I know those feel nice, Amy, I love you, darling, I want them, oh yeah,” Tigs moaned out from his sleep. Then Ternest screamed in pure pain, as he saw his balls ripped from his groin.

“HOLY FUCK ASSHOLE SHIT!” he screamed and raised the chainsaw ready to destroy the person lying in front of him. Again, the chainsaw was stopped from going anymore lower as Tigs was now holding onto Ternest’s arm. Ternest felt a smack on his hand and saw the chainsaw escaping his grip. He saw Tigs was still asleep, but wondered what was going on. Ternest looked around for what to do, but nothing came to mind. Than he saw no more