I started this book like 3 months ago but I havent written anymore since... should I continue?
Prologue
"Tall? Thats what you want? It to be tall?"
"Sure why not?"
"But you must see how different they will be to the whole towns?"
"Oh come come Tina, just because something is different doesn't mean itll be bad does it?"
"I suppose not Dream. But what will people say?"
"Fuck what people say. This is my ocean and I will shit on the street if I want."
"But you musn't treat people as if you are saying 'This is my ocean you will do as I say'."
"And where have I ever said that? I may say I will do what I want but I have never told anyone not to do what they want. Now all I am saying is that everyone is welcome to change, everyone is welcome to an opinion but damn it all if they are going to piss and moan about something so small!"
"Fine Dream, but try to make sure no one thinks you are saying 'Oh I can afford to have mine bigger, you are swine'."
"Are you saying that everyone would be happier with theirs bigger also? Because if you are than I might just give everyone a bigger one also."
"I think I'll bring that up at the next meeting!"
"Do so, I must leave. The wife is waiting."
"Bye Dream,"
"Farewell Tina, I'm hoping it'll be ready tomorrow?"
"Sure will"
And out stepped Dream into his ocean.
**
"It's all gonna goto hell! You know that right? Please tell me you have thought about this. Before you make the biggest fool out of us all. Have you even discussed this with our son? TALK TO ME DAMMIT! Don't just stand there with that blank look on your face”
WHACK
“Ok darling I needed to do that to get you out of your damn hysterics. We have talked about this everyday for the last month and my god it always ends up with you thinking its the best thing to do. Now listen, do you think I would have put this all in action without thinking it all through? I have spent years planning this and you know it!We both know the only thing that can go wrong and we know why and how. I have made sure that that wont happen.
Do not worry anymore just relax.”
**
And all the people sing
Winter Is Coming Winter is coming
Dreams ocean will be frozen
All the people will be dozin
and the end
not the beginning
may seem like
one sweet dream
chapter 1
winter comes winter leaves
“Dream! DREAM COME QUICKLY”
“What is it darling?”
“He still wont accept it.”
“What is he saying this time?”
“He says that he is old enough to decide whether or not he should stay above or come down with us. Oh dream we have to convince him we are only doing this all for his own good. I don't want him down there with us. Who can we trust to stay up here besides him?"
“Darling, we can't keep making his decisions for him! Hes old enough now to decide for himself whether or not hes ready”
“Well I am his mother and I say hes not fucking going and thats that,”
“Fine I will talk to him OK?
Eh dear God we don't need this shit right before winter comes. I walk out of the bedroom and enter the hall. Such a nice blue castle I think as I sigh, such a shame it'll be to leave it.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Well as I said in my 2nd post of this topic, most of that is all just bits and pieces I want in the book. So pretty much for a review I'm asking does it read well? I mean does it sound interesting?
or is that too dialogy(even a real word :S?) too 
as Esther Sylvester did say it could be quite good 
. But yeah any chance of a review on my other book?
Also any chance of a review on my other book's 2 chapters
edit: I really should read everything people say
This is a very difficult story to review due to the fact that it is entirely dialog. (Except for the ending, which ends rather vaguely) But it isn't put together in such a way that it would make a good script. But I do believe this could be quite good, if you could put some more descriptions in. Readers like to hear dialog, because it teaches the reader about the characters. But, if you just have the characters start talking in the middle of nowhere, without telling the reader where they are or what they are doing, it ends up being incredibly confusing. Trust me, I did that before, not even my mother liked it. But anyway, keep writing, I look forward to reading your stuff in the future.
Hey, tigs6969!
Tigs is one of my nicknames here.
Welcome to YWS! You seem pretty new.
I think the reason no one has critiqued this is because... well... it's all dialogue. That means it might as well be a script. Add some narration and description.
Even dialogue tags would improve this greatly. A dialogue tag is when you put "he said" or something like that on the end of a sentence.
For example, in the sentence:
"Hello," said Kathy. "Said Kathy" is the dialogue tags. They are useful so you know who is talking.
This has no dialogue tags right now. This means your audience has no idea who the characters are or what's going on in the story.
Hope this helped!
Keep writing,
AntigoneXX
no reviews
I will also not i don't plan for the prologue to be all in that order except for the whole first bit. I mean I pretty much used the rest to write little bits that I do want in the book. and chapter 1 was pretty much the same well not really that will all be in order but It will be a much later chapter