Warning: This work has been rated 18+.
Don't tell me to smile.
I can't anymore.
Don't tell me things will get better.
You don't know.
Don't tell me to keep my chin up.
It's been struck down too many times.
Don't tell me I'm not a slut.
You don't know what I've done.
Don't tell me it will be okay.
That's what people say when they don't know what to say.
Don't tell me you understand if you don't. You have no idea how I feel.
Don't tell me you'll love me no matter what, when you never have before.
You don't know me.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Why am I so into sad poetries recently? They just make me shiver and my heart throb. Anyways, this is one of the emotional ones. I do not know if the 12th line where the sentence starts in a different way is a mistake by pushing the space button just too much or it is on purpose. Whatever it is, I really like it! It is stating the way the italics state or point out a certain line or sentence. You have no issues, I think that this is pretty obvious. The work is short but still full of deep emotions and crushed thoughts of betrayal. The narrator/you/ is mad and always insanely stating how wrong the other is but I think that madness is totally right on point. No one can understand someone if they are not in their situation, the exact one. Even if short, this poetry makes me think that the narrator has went through a lot. Why would they be a slut? What have had happened? Why is everything not okay? I do not mind asking these questions.
In general, this was a very good read. I felt like I was reading about someone who is in the dark and ends up at the dead end, trying to find the right path.
Have a good day and keep on writing!
Hello,
I really enjoyed this poem, It's just how it is people will judge/tell you that you shouldn't be sad or to keep your chin up. When they don't know what's really going on, they can't relate to it so they'll say anything they can do to 'help'.
It's such a simple poem and yet some people can really relate to it.
Keep up the great work!
A very simple but interesting poem. I would suggest rewording it in a way that has all the sentence more or less of the same length but that is just personal preference I have while writing ( though there are times when I don't do it myself) because it ensures a somewhat consistent flow. Overall a poem well written.
Hey there, tigershark19! Thanks for sharing this poem with everyone, I enjoyed reading it. Your thoughts and emotions come across really clearly. I loved the simplicity of your 'reasons' such as you don't know and it's been struck down too many times. You don't employ any fancy language or complicated metaphors or anything like that; you just say it how it is. The saying 'less is more' applies here. The way you've formatted the poem seems to be one line of 'don't...' followed by a line which gives a reason. You follow this format right until the end- at the third line from the bottom you give a 'don't...' but then forget a reason, and follow it with another 'don't'. This destroyed the nice flow I had going in my head, so I suggest you include one extra line there. Otherwise, I don't have any nitpicks. It's pretty good.