Redemption
Isn't that the word all who have imprisoned themselves by their own vice seek?
Yet is denied only by the very deed that erupts in their perpetual pain
Their guilt which creeps upon them with an iron hand
And steals their air and twists their insides
That fills their mind with the constant echo of the past
Denying the future they so dearly need yet don't necessarily deserve
But redemption is a guilt in itself
A pleasure formed from failed forgiveness
And will haunt the everlasting soul of iniquity
For eternity
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140,226 Literary Works • 673,047 Reviews
I'm sure you've heard this before but you have a very dramatic writing style, which I find similar to Poe (that sounds corny, sorry). I really like your word choices! Vice, pain, echo, future, and failed all set the work up to be a sort of yearning you can feel. I love that midway you sort of switched view points, showing the sins of those who fail to forgive others. This third-person perspective is something I rarely see in poetry. Great work!!
A mind blowing work. You really have got the talent in you. I like way you created and framed each lines. Keep up your good work.
Thank you and I will try to!
This is very powerful. The idea of redemption is something a lot of people have problems vocalizing. I love the personification in this poem. " The guilt which creeps upon them with an iron hand." This example of personification is just too powerful for words. This is a beautiful poem and beautiful thoughts. Good job.
Thank you! Your comment really made my day!
This is a spectacular poem. I love your use of enjambment from line to line. I feel that that is a crucial literary device in this poem considering the mood of the poem. You managed to describe the word redemption as an object using great usage of personification. This is an amazing poem for your first piece. You are a fantastic poet and I hope to see more of your work in the future. Definitely keep up the good work.
Thank you! I tried to keep a darker mood in place, considering the meaning of the poem.
You have a true talent in expressing what others would rather keep to themselves. Redemption is something that we all live for in one way or another, but is something almost no one wants to admit. You summed it up in a way as beautiful as the actual thing of redemption is and displayed the talent, advise, and experience that you have. Keep writing, and if you write about the realities that others might not want to, that is all the better. You have some great work and have some great works in your future. Thank you for this poem, and thank you for sharing and expressing.
Thank you!
You have a true talent in expressing what others would rather keep to themselves. Redemption is something that we all live for in one way or another, but is something almost no one wants to admit. You summed it up in a way as beautiful as the actual thing of redemption is and displayed the talent, advise, and experience that you have. Keep writing, and if you write about the realities that others might not want to, that is all the better. You have some great work and have some great works in your future. Thank you for this poem, and thank you for sharing and expressing.