Daddy

Awwww, so cute! I know you posted this a little while ago, but I was just strolling around this site randomly, and when I found this title I couldn't resist reading .

First off, so true. It really relates to the idea that things change due to time, and there's not much we can do about it. The life stages you describe are very interesting and accurate (like the five year old thinking her daddy is as tall as a sky scraper and the teenager not wanting to hold his hand), though I do think that maybe you should make the five-year-old description and the ten-year-old description a little different, just because they seem too similar to me.

Overall, the grammar was perfect and the emotion was stunning. It made me think of my wonderful dad, and you hit the nail on the head with how you described a father/daughter relationship. So, great job!!!!

Hope this helped! Keep writing

Wow. This is fantastic. I completely understand. I'm writing this with my dad on the couch next to me. No criticisms, no corrections. This was beautiful.

This is beautiful, considering I've lost a father, I only reached to the 'I am ten' stage but yeah, I can understand that you'd be afraid of loosing your father when your twenty, cherish those moments, and even through the rough stages in life, know that your fathers always there for you.

Personally I cannot find a flaw in this poem, it's amazing
Keep it up. xx

Awwh. As a Daddy's girl I totally enjoyed this poem. Very touching and sweet.

I liked LookUpThere's suggestion of possibly closing with "You're still my superhero." Not something that has to be done of course, but it would tie in very well since you did repeat the phrase a couple times earlier.

There's really not much else I would change about it, because it flows so well and feels very natural and powerful. I guess the only thing I would suggest, is that it feels like it's missing a phase in the average person's life. At 15 one is concerned about "fitting in", but at 20 one usually isn't so concerned about losing their parents....not saying that all aren't but most instead go through a phase of wanting to find themselves, learning how to become an adult, exploring the world, and most of the time forgetting about their loved ones and their roots. I feel that nearly everyone goes through this phase, at least many I've talked with and observed.

But again, this isn't the case for everyone in the world! For me, personally, I just found that to be missing.

Really good job here!

There is a lot of feeling put into this, I can tell, and I enjoy reading works like that so I can connect to it and share that feeling. The fact that the poem not only progresses grammatically, but chronologically is very creative and kept me reading. I can relate to most of your views, save for the little girl part ^_^, but it is a good reminder of days of old and fond memories of my father. This was one of those pieces that I, personally, found to be enjoyable, and not every piece is to my liking. Thank you for sharing and keep up the creativity!

Hey, HT (or HST if you prefer) here for a review.

This was really good. It reminded me of both of my fathers, the one who raised and loved me, and the one who I've never met.

It's very strong, and well structured, and you continue that throughout each of the stanzas. I must say though, that I agree with what LookUpThere says. The language used in the first stanza is alright for the first stanza, because at that time the narrator is five. The language can also be used in the second stanza, when she is ten, but I imagine that there are very few fifteen or twenty year olds who would speak in that manner. Increasing the vocabulary and expanding it might be something to consider.

Also,

You’re my superhero.

I really enjoyed this. It was really honest. I have some (not so much criticisms but) recommendations:

The image of the superhero used in the second and first stanzas is a bit repetetive. Now, I like the running thread of the beach and metaphor for sands of life, etc... but I think that you need to show some development from five to ten as you did with the other ages. I didn't pick up on any.

I also suggest, although cautiously, that you consider a gradual shift in language to suggest a growing into maturity. If you decide to try it out, you'll have to be very masterful. Perhaps use variations on the same words (just as you did with the Huge, Big, Not so big footsteps) or change the length/complexity of sentences.

Again, these are mere suggestions.

Good job, and keep it up.

Woww, this poem is amazing. You use a lot of emotional phrases really effectively. Also, very good job contrasting your feelings about your dad at different ages. I think that everybody should read this poem. It definitely applies to all the people in the world who love their dads. Keep up the great work

The feels makes me think of how much I miss my Dad.

I enjoyed this a lot my Dad stayed with us as a single parent. He said he would never abandon his kids and did not. I guess we grew up and abandoned him...... He was always kind to us even when we said the worst things. This just teaches me to remember he won;t be around forever.

Great work, I really like this style of poetry and the way you wrote it. It just continues to make me sad no matter how i try to get over it . I'm sure you did not intend to be this way.

I love this piece, it makes me very sad at the same time though but good job!

This is a very lovely piece. I like how you wrote this poem out of experience. You added a lot of love and experience into this piece, that's what makes this poem so great. I love how you told about your relationship with your dad and you kept the poem into one idea. Anhyways, I have no criticism, so yeah. Nice job.

Hello , Hightop here to review your work, I'm going to take it stanza by stanza, and then give you an overall impression. Now, ONWARD!

Stanza One-
This is a very strong opening stanza. You introduce us to the setting for the rest of the poem and enlighten us to the subject matter. Very well done in that aspect. One thing I noticed is that you use a lot of full stops, which can and do convey the emotion of your poem, but also slow the reader down, and with the amount you used here, I'm afraid it might come off as drab and boring. The highlight of this stanza for me was your characterization of your father as a superhero.

Stanza two-
Also, a very strong stanza. I love how, as you grow older your love and idealization of your father. You captured the feeling of safety and security one can feel with a parent very well in this stanza.

Stanza three-
Another strong stanza. You captured the indifference and almost annoyance a teenager can feel when in public with their parents. You also captured the how quickly the transaction from total adoration of a parent to indifference. You also reviled the thoughts of your father for the first time, and convey him as understanding.

Stanza four-
You finished very strong. You conveyed how a person may feel remorseful or the way the act towards their parents in their teenage years. You also show the love for your father, which is written beautifully.

My over all impression of this poem is that it's a very well written, well structured and relate-able poem. I enjoyed it a lot and it was a pleasure to read and review.