Published December 27, 2011
They were wide eyed and beautiful,
with their trembling little hands
and quick to smile lips.
But it is cold out,
snow falls on their cheeks
on that big bright jacket
as they point at the filthy bearded man
who shakes on the corner.
“What’s wrong with him, mommy?”
She pulls them close to her jacket
and whispers not to stare.
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139,558 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
I liked the simplicity of this poem and the structure was well done. I have seen this happen before, personally I think that even if ignorance and naitivity are still present they should atleast learn to hold their tongues.
Anyhow, I couldn't really find anything wrong with the poem other than the the fact that I believe there is some missing punctuation where these two verses are concerned:
"snow falls on their cheeks << I think that there should be a comma or some other
on that big bright jacket punctuation here because it sounds like a run on to me.
as they point at the filthy bearded man...."
Otherwise, well done on this poem and I hope to read more soon.
~ Writteninstone.
I liked the simplicity of this poem and the structure was well done. I have seen this happen before, personally I think that even if ignorance and naitivity are still present they should atleast learn to hold their tongues.
Anyhow, I couldn't really find anything wrong with the poem other than the the fact that I believe there is some missing punctuation where these two verses are concerned:
"snow falls on their cheeks << I think that there should be a comma or some other
on that big bright jacket punctuation here because it sounds like a run on to me.
as they point at the filthy bearded man...."
Otherwise, well done on this poem and I hope to read more soon.
~ Writteninstone.