When the December-April clouds roll in,
I can’t help but wonder if
I’ve been given another opportunity.
I have never believed in second chances,
(at least for myself),
but who would not,
when handed the keys to their prison,
leave that very moment?
Maybe, though,
I have been handed many keys
throughout the course of my imprisonment,
but having become accustomed to it,
got so afraid of escape
that I buried them and
pretended they did not exist.
Have I been, all this time, pacing
like a caged animal
on a mass-grave of forgivenesses?
Why should I keep punishing myself?
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I like the concept of your poem but the execution of it was a bit choppy. You have very good lines here, ones that need a connection of some kind to work. A good way to connect things in a poem is dialogue or rhyming couplets. There are a lot of descriptive lines that help with imagery which were done very well. A lot of people say you should have shorter sentences in poems but really, the way this one is done, I think you could add some sentences together and it would be completely fine. Like the lines, "I can't help but wonder if----I've been given another opportunity." I really think those two would be better off together. You have a good concept and a great talent at conveying imagery, you just have to work out your poem scheme and style.
WOW! love this poem
love the theme and the rest of it.
I can compare myself to this poem at times, this is just so nice and poetic hope to hear more.
Hi jessiebear hear to do a review.
just like what Blenny said If this was written last minute then you are an incredible writer and you have great Ideas. I loved it. Your use of poetic and literary devices is very extensive and your English teacher must be very proud. I really enjoyed your style of writing and I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work. I think the same but I all so think you are missing a little bit full stops hire and there. That is all I have to say.
So all in all well done I look forward to seeing more of your stuff So have a good day/night.
Jessiebear.
If this was written last minute then you are an incredible writer and you have great Ideas. I loved it. Your use of poetic and literary devices is very extensive and your English teacher must be very proud. I really enjoyed your style of writing and I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work. All in all well done I look forward to seeing more of you on the stream.