Snow Flakes

Nice. The rhyming isn't too bad it's actually quite good.

Yes! The description is just.... perfect
So I like your poem!
Don't give up Rhyming isn't so hard xxx

This is so cute. The rhyming scheme is really nice and I enjoy it. I especially enjoyed how you compared snow to sand. I would have never put those two together in the same category but now hat I think about it, they both are pretty much the same. Beautiful metaphor

nicely written and creates a true winter and christmas feeling

good job

Nice, but just a few things...-

Delicate little flakes,
so beautifully they flutter,- this seems a bit.. awkward to say. Maybe you could say something entirely different, or try to reword it so that it rhymes better, or doesn't sounds as uncomfortable in the stanza.
they seem naturally harmless
unless they’re in a cluster.
This whole stanza sort of confuses up the whole poem.

They float about gently,- this a a bit redundant, referring to how you already said the flutter beautifully.
and lay upon the land,
covering all the streets,
like the sea does with the sand.-(or the sand does the beach, or the sea?)

They excite all the children
and give them something to do
as everyone goes to build snowmen
and drag their parents out ,too!

thegilliangill wrote:I know it isn't very good, and I am hopless at rhyme, but I wanted to do something that fitted perfectly with the weather right now!

Delicate little flakes,
so beautifully they flutter, I think this line was awkward and if your gonna add it in there word it diff.
they seem naturally harmless
unless they’re in a cluster.

They float about gently,
and lay upon the land,
covering all the streets,
like the sea does with the sand.

They excite all the children
and give them something to do
as everyone goes to build snowmen
and drag their parents out too!

Although I think the imagery was good and the flow was fine, I think it was a baby poem. What I mean by that is to use bigger words, let it grow it's wings a little. Other than that I liked it alot.

Hello there

I'll be honest and say the poem was little too plain. I know it may be one of those 'take it as it is', but it is too plain. There is no imagery or any form of captivating elements. Everything that I was expecting to find in the poem, was there. It was not completely bad though, because it did give me the feeling of Christmas and stuff.
Keep writing

This is a really good poem. You used great imagery when describing the snowflakes. I like how you compared the snowflakes to other wonders in nature. Your rhyming even works too. Great job! Keep writing.

nice little Christmas poem, and neat rhymes although i thought flutter and cluster were weird but that's just me

keep up the good work

Yours truly
- Stephene