Unworthy Hero ~ Chapter 5

by thedevinhiggins

Published October 10, 2018

E - Everyone

In Unworthy Hero

I was too dumbfounded to speak. I only stared at his outstretched hand, my own hands clenching the fabric of my cape. I had never heard of Red Warrior. Then again, the memory of my watch flashing UNKNOWN just several minutes earlier reminded me that no one knew who he was.

“No friendly welcome gesture here?” Red Warrior asked, feigning offense. He then straightened up and cleared his throat. “Well, let’s get to business here. You see, you have what I want.”

He gestured towards my wrist. I held it up and realized he was talking about my watch.

“This was an inheritance gift from my parents. My dad made it!” I protested, covering the face of my watch with my hand and pulling my arm back towards me.

“That watch was stolen from me by your father!”

"How dare you question my dad’s integrity!" I took a couple steps closer to Red Warrior, becoming all the more impatient with him.

“Look, that watch is of my invention, and I want it back!” With that, Red Warrior lunged at me. I crouched down and somersaulted sideways, feeling his meaty hand brushing against my hair. I rolled back up to a stand, and just in time to see him attempting to throw a punch at my gut. I lunged back, arching my back so that his fist would miss.

“Looks like we’ve got quite the skilled defender,” Red Warrior said. “But what about attacking?”

“I don’t believe in fighting,” I said flatly.

“Why not?” Red Warrior seemed taken aback.

“I’d rather not talk about it.”

“Well, then, I’ll just fight you until you give in.” He charged at me, fist drawn back, ready to deliver a hard blow. I tried to evade it by launching myself sideways, but I wasn’t quick enough, and I felt a wrenching pain in my side. I tumbled over onto the asphalt, squeezing my hip and grunting in pain. I slowly eased myself up, but by the time I regained my balance, he punched me again in the gut. I doubled over, crumpling to the ground once again.

"Such a pity you don’t fight," Red Warrior said. "You had the potential to be a good hero, a hero worthy of Captain Hope City, and yet here you are, not willing to throw a single punch."

"I have my reasons, Red Warrior!" I protested. "Even if I don’t fight, I can still save the day!" I grabbed his wrist and held the frame to twist it.

"Oh, I wouldn't do that," Red Warrior said quickly.

"Why not?" I asked impatiently, not moving my hands.

"Well, if you try to undo my past with my own invention, I can still influence it, and you will be trapped in time."

I didn't believe a single word he said, but I knew time was never something to mess with. Besides, what if it was his, by some off-chance? I slowly drew my hand away from him, and he smirked.

"That's what I thought."

I took a short moment to launch a microchip from my watch into the folds of his cape. My watch assigned his Villain ID: #1135ED.

"Well, I have a busy schedule for a Villain. Until next time, Time Turner!"

He launched himself up into the air and flew away faster than any other Villain—-or Hero--I had ever seen.

-----

I had driven back to the dorms without hesitation, trying to avoid the crowd and their enraged, profanity-laced comments. When I entered my dorm room after changing into human clothing, Taylor was typing something on her laptop.

"How are you, Taylor?" I asked, trying not to sound exhausted.

"Fine," she replied without looking up from her screen.

"Just finishing up that English assignment."

“Oh, yeah.” I said. “I finished that one already.”

"Actually, it’s the 1984 one," Taylor sighed. "I've hardly started that one.”

“Wait, when is that one due?” I asked.

“Tomorrow morning,” she answered flatly.

"Tomorrow morning?" I had thought it wasn't due for at least another two weeks. "I've only read half the book!"

"Ouch," Taylor looked up at me with a half-frown and a pitiful look. "I thought you had a loose schedule. Why haven’t you been working on it?”

"That was because..." I stopped myself. "Because...I...had been playing sports at the community center! I've been so busy with that!" I let put a nervous laugh. Taylor looked puzzled, but eventually she returned her focus to her laptop.

I sighed and pulled out 1984 from my nightstand drawer. I opened it to my bookmarked page and read it as fast as I could. After I read a chapter, I pulled up the paper on my laptop, which had only my name on it.

I could finish this tonight, right?

Apparently not, because when I picked up the book again, my watch buzzed. I looked at it and saw two red dots huddled together in the abandoned factory. Two familiar Villain ID's labeled each of the dots: #FFE14A and #6FE1ED.

What were they doing together?

“Hey, Taylor, I’m going to head out for a bit,” I said, grabbing my backpack. “See you after dinnertime!”

“Sure, yeah, see you!” Taylor replied, typing furiously on her laptop.

I went into the secret garage and drove the supercar to the abandoned factory, my heart beating faster by the minute. I ran into the building and quickly but quietly searched the rooms for suspicious activity. I froze in my steps when I heard voices coming from behind a slightly-opened door, which had a faint light coming from it.

"...and all we have to do is wait for her to come."

I recognized that voice as Hung Zhu's.

"Can't we just go into the streets and start 'saving' people? I mean, we can just beat her in public! We don't have to do it here in this secure, hidden facility, do we?" the voice of Electroid--a Villain I had only faced two times--mused. I inched closer to the door.

"Even if Time Turner is a disrespected hero, she's still a Hero!" Hung Zhu hissed. "If we decide to attack her in public, every other Hero will be alerted, and we'll be behind bars!"

There was a silence.

"She's here," Electroid said with a chilling tone.

I held my breath, waiting for them to discover me, but I heard no footsteps. I considered turning around and going back, and when I did, Electroid was standing right behind me, sneering.

"Where do you think you're going, Time Turner?" she said in her heavy French accent with a chuckle. Her revealing electric blue suit seemed to glow in the dark. "Why don’t you join us? We were just talking about you!"

She took my wrist and led me into the room, where Hung Zhu was waiting for me. He gave me a cold, mischievous stare as Electroid coaxed me into a rusty chair. She then bound me with electric restraints that shocked me if I dared resist. Of course, that wasn’t what I was worried about.

"I almost thought you wouldn’t show up, Time Turner!" Hung Zhu said, stepping into view of the light bulb hanging above me.

"What do you want, Hung Zhu?" I asked.

Hung Zhu chuckled and circled me. “We know you’re one for negotiations, so I’ll make you a deal.

"You see, everyone knows you’re by far the least respected hero ever to come about. What we propose to you is that you step down from the responsibility of protecting this city. Hand it to us, and you don't have to deal with the people of Captain Hope City any longer."

"I don't trust you," I stated. "You won't be their hero. You'll torture them while somehow convincing them that you're a better hero than I was!"

"You don't understand, Time Turner," Hung Zhu chided. "We offer you peace. Peace from the people who so relentlessly oppose you. If you give it to us, you will never have to deal with them again. You can retire from the superhuman life with ease and live the life you wanted."

The last sentence caught me by surprise.

Live the life I wanted.

That sounded nice. I had trouble admitting it, but Hung Zhu was right. I went through too much abuse from the people of Captain Hope City. I would get the quiet life I had dreamed of living. I would do my backup plan and live quietly under the radar for the rest of my life.

But Hung Zhu was a supervillain. He wouldn't save the people, he would do whatever he wanted to them. And with Electroid by his side, they would take over Captain Hope City.

"I decline, Hung Zhu," I said. "You will never be a hero to them."

"Honey, even if you decline, we're still taking over the city," Electroid replied, admiring her nails. "The two of us would easily overpower you."

"I don’t know about that," I said, standing up and breaking the restraints. I rushed over and attempted to grab Electroid's wrist, but Hung Zhu intercepted, swatting my hand out of the way.

"We may look like a small team now," he said, "but we will become the greatest Villain alliance of all time!” He leaned in closer to me. “And we’ll start with every Villain you’ve undone!”

"Never!" I exclaimed. "As long as I'm the only known Superhuman with time-bending powers, that will never happen!"

"Not anymore!" Hung Zhu said, holding up his hand.

I stared at it in disbelief. How was it possible? Hung Zhu had fire and time powers?

“That’s impossible!” I said. “You have fire powers!”

He chuckled. “I can have much more than that, Time Turner.”

Can. He can have more. What did that mean? He had a bank full of powers in him?

Unless he can only use one at a time...Wait, I’ve heard about this kind of power.

The power to copy other Superhumans’ powers.

But as far as I knew, he had to have touched me at some point. I didn’t recall any instance where that happened.

Unless...

"Mr. Yin?"

He nodded.

I stared at him, trying to figure out the resemblance. Mr. Yin was such a nice person; I don't believe anybody would've suspected him of being a Villain.

But that didn't stop him from being evil and wanting to take over the city.

"I will tell the authorities about this!" I said.

"Oh, I wouldn't do that," Hung Zhu mused. "If you tell the authorities, I’ll tell the class your identity, Sarah Robinson."

The fact that he said my human name took me aback.

How long has he known my human identity? What will happen if everyone suddenly knows I'm the hero that no one likes?

I can't just let them go! There's no way I'll be able to challenge both of them! And with Hung Zhu's new time-bending abilities he copied from me, he can bring back more and more Villains to grow this new alliance!

But still...no one respected me as it was. If they found out I was Sarah Robinson...

"Fine. Deal," I said quietly.

Hung Zhu smiled. "Smart choice, Robinson."

Comments & reviews · 2
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Starve
Review
Starve wrote a review Review · Oct 28, 2018

Hmm there is a LOT going on in this one. I cannot write a review before saying that some of the stuff might've worked better if shifted to adjacent chapters.
Still, I liked the pacing of this chapter. Your punctuation and grammar are good, as usual.
I did not see that plot twist coming, so well done!

Scene one -
1. The fight is realistic, but the dialogue suffers from lack of individuality. Her father is an inventor? alright. But then there is this big Villain who wants the watch back. A mild change in the way the Villain speaks might also have allowed a revelation of the lead's backstory, since this guy seems like an important character who knows her father. But the watch also syncs and assigns ID, and the man says it is his. Are there more such watches? Are they standard issue for superheroes? Is this one of a kind and this is her personal or a private database? Why does the Villain leave without getting the watch? Is it not possible to take it forcibly? He seems capable enough to do that.

2. The teasing with releasing why she doesn't fight back is still well done, but patience might begin to wear thin by now.

I did read in your reply below that you won't edit the story, so I'll stick to what stuck out as a reader.

Scene 2 —
She goes back to her dorm room after getting beat up by a baddie. Somewhere between here and when she starts to go back to her room, perhaps the drive back home, might've been a nice part for some kind of back story, or foreshadowing. Might have helped the transition into the next scene, or helped set the tone.

Which authorities are there the Villain is scared of? Since now both each of them know the other's identities?

Why would a person who jumps to confront an unknown Villain be led docilely to a chair? There needs to be more explanation of her time travelling, or hints at it. A time traveller should be able to escape easily unless the Villains have a work-around ... ?

What is this system which supposedly designates heroes to cities?

Although the plot twist was well done, my mind was too bewildered by the time I got to it to completely be shocked really effectively, or to be astounded by the ending, which is pretty intriguing and deserves more explanation as soon as possible. Is it an escape plan? A way to pass the time while help arrives? Only time will tell.

I repeat my suggestion to italicize the thoughts or use inverted commas, it gets a bit confusing sometimes.

It is nice to have more plot to write on than less definitely, and your structure formation for information delivery is great too, especially how you showed the way being a Superhero is not only a thankless job, but let's

Do keep writing, and this is my last review for the night! I'll hopefully catch up on the next chapter soon.

Thank you for the review!

Starve replied · Oct 28, 2018

Glad to be of help.

FlamingPhoenix wrote a review Review · Oct 13, 2018

Hi Shikora here with yet another review.

What I like

This chapter was just great. It was full of so many questions through out. It was full of suspense and a bit of action. The chapter was just long enough that you keep us reading and get the answers we need.

The plot

There is so much going on right now. The plot just took an epic twist, and i'm sitting here freaking out. It was a very well planed out chapter.

Characters

I'm finding out a lot more about Sarah and the way she thinks. It's good that I get to know her more as the story goes on, so when you write more of your chapters keep doing what your doing.
I would like to go into her head more though, but other then that what you have here is really good.
Description

I know I've said a lot of things about your description before, but I feel like you need too work on it a bit more. I'm going to tell you some of the things that need to be improved. Like the room Sarah is siting in what does it smell like and is the seat she's sitting in cold. You know things like that you need to think about. I'm going to tell you something that I use when I write, smell, sight, sound and feel. Use those things when you write and it really will transform your work.

Mistakes

There was only one thing I could find.

Can. He can have more. What did that mean? He had a bank full of powers in him?

This sentence needs a question mark.

Well that's all from me. It was fun reading and reviewing your work. Never stop wring and have a great day/night.

Your friend
Shikora. :D

Thanks so much for the review! Again, I'm sorry, but I will not be editing this story more, I made myself stop editing after already spending too long on it, LOL.

I understand. Some times a story doesn't work. :D Good luck with your next one.



It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
— Walt Disney