Young Writers Society

Hello, I'm leaving a review. Some lines that stood out to me are:
"I see that the sink broke, I better call the plumbers"
This line made me laugh. I recently had sink trouble and seeing it in this poem was relatable.
"I used to be like that, but now I’m old"
This line feels powerful to me. Many things in life are youth attempting to mimic maturity, but being old often undoes all that pretense.
"I look around and my family is watching me die"
What is interesting to me about this line is that it can apply to any stage of life. There is a sadness, but also a comfort in having the family there for it.

I noticed how the beginning of the poem has "I see" beginning most lines, and in the second half it shifts to telling of a physical reality instead of the visual one, and ends with a focus on others seeing the speaker.
The corn growing towards the sky is a good motif to hold this poem together as it evokes time and seasons and helps the reader see the passage of time.
Great job! Thank you for sharing your art.

Cool and sad poem.I believe the poem talks about the things that happen which you can’t control in life.I thought it was interesting to choose the words:”I look around and my family is watching me die.” Could it be that the narrator is getting old or is the narrator in serious pain and everyone notices the pain the narrator feels,but,doesn’t care about it? I liked this poem.I hope you have a lovely day/night.