Prologue
The Animal Shifters are a society of humans who can shift, or turn, into an animal, be it mythical or real.
This society was founded by the late Professor Gerald Steed. He invented a formula that could allow a human to transform into an animal of their choosing at will. The Professor experimented on himself. His formula was a success and he used the same formula on his seven-year-old foster son, as he was not married. Nine years later he died.
In those nine years, he and his son recruited more Shifters. Their goal was to gather and train a large amount of Shifters that would reveal themselves to the world, and become an elite superhero-like force that fought evil.
They gathered twelve others, five boys and seven girls. They could shift into a cheetah, dragon, ferret, Golden eagle, King cobra, lion, panther, puma (mountain lion), snow leopard, Sydney Funnel Web spider, and a White Bengal tiger. The Professor could shift into a powerful mustang, and his son could shift into a Great-White shark.
These were good times. When all were friends and not enemies. When all trained and learned together. Then the Professor died. His body in the form of a mustang at the time of his death. From his death, the leadership was passed onto his son, who was a good leader, but could not control the unruly Shifters.
Then came the rebellion. And that is where our story starts.
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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
Anyway let's get right to it,
OKay...wow, well this is an interesting concept here, more than a prologue this one seems to almost be a lesson in backstory here....and I've now problems with that, cause this does seem like some pretty intriguing backstory. Its also really fun to see a experiment done by a inventor on himself that actually worked and worked well, usually it goes wrong and they became a villain in a superhero film.
Hmm, well that seems like an interesting cause there at any rate...and I also love to see a group of elite superheroes in action. One thing I will say is that the list of animals, while seeming necessary is bet well...like a list...its just messes with the pacing of things here...you might want to consider and alternate way to mention those forms...aaand reading through said forms I wonder if they choose the animal themselves or not cause these are pretty much apex predators or just generally animals you wouldn't want to cross. I find it hard to believe that if its random one of them isn't going to end up as a cat or something.
Ahh well, and so it becomes the very problem they were planning on combatting, well that is wonderfully ironic and a really fun premise for a story...so...well, this was a pretty nicely done prologue here, sounds like a story that I'd totally read...although uhhh, having read the full thing, now it reads more like a plot summary almost...you might want to restructure a bit towards the end.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Intresting. I like it. I used to be so into shape shifters when i was little.
I'm actually basing this off an sb. Thank you!
I like it... if the prologue is supposed to be like the rest of the story, though, you should make it more like a narrative (third-person omniscient, I guess, unless you want to switch points of view). Right now it's sort of dispassionate, and the reader is separated from the actual story.
If it isn't, then so far, so good, although you should check for grammar mistakes before you post.
I'm going to switch the point of view between the characters.
Thank you! Any suggestions?
Very nice. Give the audiance an idea of what the story's about.
Nicely done.
This is my first rough draft. I would like your opinion!