Published March 14, 2008
Just thought I'd write you a short note to tell you how much I enjoyed meeting you. I can't recall when I had a more pleasant time. Everything felt so natural, and you were very easy to talk to. It's hard for me to identify what it is about you that attract me so much.
I suppose it might be the combination of your great sense of intelligence, humour, charming personality and good-looks. Whatever it is, I can sense its presence. You could call it chemistry, or better yet, the possibility that we are on the same wavelength.
Hey, I really hope that our first encounter was not our last because I felt very special when I was with you. I truly want to give our friendship a chance to grow.
I am sitting here in my office and writing this letter hoping you will get to read it in case you are going online; but if not then I know that this letter will reach you sooner or later.
I am listening to some loves songs that I have burned into the CD. Although I don't understand the words because the songs are in Chinese, but I know that it is about love and that I like it a lot.
Just like the things happening here inside me, I really don't understand how it works but all I know is that the feelings I have for you is just like the Chinese songs I am listening to now. It really sounds so nice me but I don't know what it means.
I know that my life is much happier when you're around and that my life is filled with songs. Well, I guess I've said enough for the time being. I hope you have a wonderful day and, hopefully, I'll see you again real soon.
I know you really and trully have a busy schedule but if you get a chance, write and tell me your thoughts.Until I hear from you, take care of yourself.
Jun
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First of all, welcome to YWS! But what is this suppose to be? You should rethink this. Anyway, best wishes.
I'm going to move this to other. This isn't poetry, and I'm not even sure it is literature. What was your intent?
This is certainly a narrative...or even some what of a rant, but I don't think this belongs in poetry. I think it just belongs in Other, or even in a blog post? All of these feelings that you had just kind of blurred together and it turned into more of a dialogue sequence, like out of no where you just started going off and listing things. For poetry, and moreso for writing in general you need figurative language, imagery, things that the readers can relate to. To me, this all seemed very personal and as a reader I was excluded. Work on adding others into your view points and then rewrite this in a poetic form, maybe even in a story form.
PM me if you have any questions or need help with anything!
Happy editing!
~Rieda
Um... What was this for? Is this supposed to be a poem? I didn't get it...