Published February 22, 2009
I don't like the title that much, I don't know how to title it... HELP!! haha
[1ST VERSE]
The world starts to change
Nothing is the same
Since you left, everything is so grey
I can’t believe how you just left,
Without having the chance to say goodbye
And still there you are, in a corner of my mind
[CHORUS]
So tell me now, my brightest star
Tell me how it is to run beyond the clouds
And watch the world as it was never seen before
Now I know that you’ll be my little angel
Watching over me
[2ND VERSE]
And there you are, in the sky
Somehow I hear you laugh, and I can’t help but smile
Cause I know you’re better now, better than you could ever be
And I have to move on
Cause life goes on
So make me strong, and tell me I won’t fall
[BRIDGE]
And everything will be different now
But the skies will be full of lights
because your light will make them shine
and there you are
[CHORUS]
So tell me now, my brightest star
Tell me how it is to run beyond the clouds
And watch the world as it was never seen before
Now I know that you'll be my little angel
Watching over me
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139,666 Literary Works • 672,646 Reviews
I really loved this. You did an awesome job with it.
I agree with my friend Lordgluzman, I can't believe I'm only the 3rd one to review this! I love the feeling in it. Death is really hard to deal with.
My friend Erica...her friend died from a drug overdose last night. She was not okay today because it just hit her a few hours ago that Tyler is really gone. Once you realize it, it can tear you apart.
To write about something like death, when you've experienced it personally, takes an extra will power. For that I congradulate you, and for that I give you a star as well.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather
you have my deepest sympathy
-thevoiceinside
This is really good! I can't believe that I am only the second person commenting this song, I should be like the millionth person commenting this lyric. This was interesting to read and it was pretty sad (I am sorry about your grandfather). But any ways you deserve a star.
So far as the title goes, it's not too bad, I've seen worse. I can't really help you there, because it's your song, and the title means whatever you want it to. My suggestion would be to either: (1) Find another line or word from the song or (2) Find a phrase or word not form the song, yet relates to it.
As for the song itself, not bad. So far as nit-picky stuff goes, the last two lines of the bridge need to be capitalized at the beginning, and I would recommended adding punctuation. I know it's not necessary because it's lyrics (or at least I think, I'm not a grammar Nazi), but it helps the flow better and shows where different thoughts begin and end.
Off of the topic of grammar and punctuation and onto the actual song structure. The rhythm was a bit hard to follow, but that's mostly because it's just the lyrics and I don't know what the melody is. There wasn't any rhymes, so obviously there aren't any problems with that.
As a whole, good job!