Young Writers Society

Heyy! Forever here with a review!

First of all, this was a great poem with a use of a lot of positive techniques that helped the poem to become more lively. First of all you italicised the poem which gives it kind of a dramatic effect. I really like it. Secondly, you decided to avoid all sorts of punctuations and capitalization. That also did a good job representing the condition of the narrator. Like their brain is not in a very healthy condition and that is the reason why they have forgotten to put all those in their own places. Now, comes the metaphors. The use of metaphors was really incredible. Also, the same goes for the imagery.

About the interpretation of the poem, I really liked the concept of façade in the poem. It's a real problem of today's world and you have done a great job representing it.

Keep Writing!

~Forever

Hi there, gem!

This seems to be a take on theme of putting up a façade. The poem focuses on a speaker “i" from the first person and has a pretty regular rhyme scheme and rhythm throughout. The title is really interesting “we all walk upside down” – it was definitely the first thing that captured my attention when reading this.

Subject, Themes, Narrative

I’ll try to go for the nuances I perceive here and there in the narrative. One question that I was thinking as I re-read the poem as how exactly the speaker relates to the people they are with. From the first line, the speaker refers to a “you”, which then becomes obviously pluralised in the second stanza, referring to an “everyone” that they have to put on airs around. There seems to be a further distancing between the speaker and everyone else, as they continue to refer to these other people in the third person and do not return to using “you” by the end of the poem.

Another way to interpret this I think could be that the “you” and the “everyone” are separate from each other. Perhaps the speaker is talking to a friend about the people they meet at school, or something. I think this interpretation would make the poem more observational, as it seems the speaker is relating a story about both them and the people at the school to someone else. Meanwhile, the first interpretation seems to capture the poem more as a piece of internal monologue, where the changing address of the others at school simply depicts how they are increasingly distant from the speaker.

Language and Imagery

In terms of imagery, I was mostly curious about the link between ‘cloth’ and ‘paper’. The first stanza focuses on the image of a “paper mache mask”. This gives me the impression of something messy and also easily breakable, maybe even see-through. Next, “the fabric of it is old newspapers” links the image of paper with a textile. These two lines of imagery disappear from the third stanza, wherein the speaker’s actions and interactions are described literally, and then the images of materials are brought back in the final stanza with “curtains in their eyes”.

I like this link because it’s creative, without being too ‘out there’. I would have liked to see more exploration into how exactly cloth and paper are similar. As it is, I can sort of read into the poem that both cloth and paper ‘hide’ things, but I’d be interested in seeing how exactly that happens and what other aspects of these images can be explored. For example, in the third stanza, perhaps the “bag” could be another source of cloth imagery? And while I love the phrase “unnervingly unwavering”, perhaps linking it back to the paper mache ask might be interesting to try?

inner mess and monstrosities

it hides the inner mess and monstrosities; my dear paper mask i made so perfectly

because they put in all their work to make themselves a shroud

a paper mache mask lies between you and me
it seperates what there is from what you see,

Wow! This was lovely and powerful!

So first off I love all the symbolism and the way you show people how it feels to truly have a mask.

"a paper mache mask lies between you and me

it separates what there is from what you see,

it hides the inner mess and monstrosities; my dear paper mask I made so perfectly"


This first line is a perfect hook. as soon as I read it I knew exactly the feeling. Like all you can do is fail, but you can't let others see. So you create this image that everyone else comes to know you by. When in reality...you are just as scared as everyone else.

"hidden behind it everything is upside down

it protrudes from me almost clownishly but no one notices now

because they put in all their work to make themselves a shroud"

You are right...everyone is so focused on themselves it's like they can't tell that the mask is there. Even when it is so easy to see that it is. And yet we do that to other ppl too because we are too busy with ourselves too.

"and they are hiding behind the curtains in their eyes

the curtains made of uncertainty and lies

material made of words they cant speak"

Strong ending! it truly shows that we all go through it and we blame everyone and ourselves. When in reality we all do the same thing every day.

This had no grammer piece but I didn't feel that it was nessicary. Poetry is art and we all do it differently. I hope this brought a little lightto your day!

So first off I love all the symbolism and the way you show people how it feels to truly have a mask.

"a paper mache mask lies between you and me

it separates what there is from what you see,

it hides the inner mess and monstrosities; my dear paper mask I made so perfectly"


This first line is a perfect hook. as soon as I read it I knew exactly the feeling. Like all you can do is fail, but you can't let others see. So you create this image that everyone else comes to know you by. When in reality...you are just as scared as everyone else.

"hidden behind it everything is upside down

it protrudes from me almost clownishly but no one notices now

because they put in all their work to make themselves a shroud"

You are right...everyone is so focused on themselves it's like they can't tell that the mask is there. Even when it is so easy to see that it is. And yet we do that to other ppl too because we are too busy with ourselves too.

"and they are hiding behind the curtains in their eyes

the curtains made of uncertainty and lies

material made of words they cant speak"

Strong ending! it truly shows that we all go through it and we blame everyone and ourselves. When in reality we all do the same thing every day.

This had no grammer piece but I didn't feel that it was nessicary. Poetry is art and we all do it differently. I hope this brought a little lightto your day!

Hi! Rida here with a review!
First of all: I absolutely LOVED this poem, it was incredibly relatable!
Glows:
The poem was very relatable and open, and I liked the metaphors you used here, I loved the personification of everything too!
The poem had a very sad, melancholy sort-of aura with a twinge of everyday-monotony, something I loved!
The poem showed how ordinary wearing masks (the metaphorical sort, haha), has become, and I get the a sort of feeling that this poem indirectly shows how everyone is dealing with mental health issues, how everyone is feeling upside-down nowadays.

Grows:

a paper mache mask lies between you and me (btw, I loved the starting!)

it seperates what there is from what you see,

it hides the inner mess and monstrosities; my dear paper mask i made so perfectly



the fabric of it is old newspapers filled with words i couldn't speak

dipped in the mouth gumming glue of uncertainty

i painted it with lies to make it complete; a big fake smile for everyone to see



and when i walk in with it on no one asks me how i am

i can throw my bag down and brush by with a look of stern —-> ‘look of stern’ seems a bit odd, maybe change it to ‘i can throw my bag down and brush by, looking stern’

because this unnervingly unwavering smile helps to stop peoples concern——> ‘peoples concern is actually grammatically incorrect, I’m guessing ‘peoples’ was a typo. But maybe you could change it to: ‘because this unnervingly unwavering smile doesn’t make people any more concerned’



hidden behind it everything is upside down

it protrudes from me almost clownishly but no one notices now

because they put in all their work to make themselves a shroud



and they are hiding behind the curtains in their eyes

the curtains made of uncertainty and lies

material made of words they cant speak




I loved this poem! It speaks so deeply!
Thank you sooo much for sharing this! Honestly, this is actually very close to me, and I really needed this!

Keep writing more amazing poems like this!
- rida

This is a really lovely poem Gem, I'm glad to see you posting again ^^ keep up the good work <33

Hey gemmy!! Incoming review!

YAY! You're back with publishing poetry, and I can't wait for more to come. With that out of the way, let me review your work here.

Now this is very different from the usual poetry I've seen from you. There's structure here and I'm here for it! And I like how the poem centers around paper mache. It gives off how the things you described as paper mache, like the mask, started out as soft and unstructured and over time it has formed, hardened, and became a staple of yourself. The line

i painted it with lies to make it complete; a big fake smile for everyone to see

Lovely poem friend! Lots of emotion expressed and nice imagery/metaphor useage.

Hey, Book_Dragon here for a review!

First of all, wow. I do not feel qualified to review this. It's so good!! Unfortunately, I relate to it a little too much. "Old newspapers filled with words I couldn't speak" hit home pretty hard. Talking is seriously so difficult sometimes.

Positives:
I love the rhythm of the poem. "It hides the inner mess and monstrosities; my dear paper mask i made so perfectly" flows really nicely. I like the themes behind this, and the words as well. I also like how everything is in italics. It adds to the poem itself.

Critiques:
It is good as it is, but you could add punctuation at the end of each stanza. Particularly the last one. The last stanza also does seem to have a different rhyme scheme than the rest, but I don't think that needs to be fixed.

That is all.

Keep writing,

-Book_Dragon