Published December 13, 2011
A poem in response to one of the sayings my mom says to much. It's short
My mom once told me
'Without your health
You have nothing' or something
Like that.
I disagree.
Well, sort of.
Broken limbs and
Angry bacteria give you
Wishes and reason and
Realization. Mix the chemicals,
Tip the scale, and cut the stitches
That united your mind,
And then
You get nothing.
EDIT: ok, no one comment, i'm turning it into a longer maybe narrative poem
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I'm not sure about this piece. for me the imagery and the flow were a bit off. the central idea of what you're trying to get accross was also hard to understand. I'm sure given further review it would probably be easier to see but from simplicity's p.o.v. it was very difficult to read.
heyy talkingbird! its a pretty good poem but I wanted you to explain little bit more...... I know you understand me,this idea is very well and precise and I think that bacteria's are not actually angry its their style of intaking food so it will be better if you place some other word other than ''Angry''. And also try to make it better to the readers who read your poem.
good luck!!!