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Young Writers Society



the path between friends

by syd1992


its apart ofa chapter, DOminique`s Way:

`` Boy , I don`t like him like that. `` Dominque you know you like him, you talk about him, look at him, even when you talk to him; you can`t even breathe, and you can`t even speak to him, Donnie said.


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Fri Oct 21, 2022 9:52 am
KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

`` Boy , I don`t like him like that. `` Dominque you know you like him, you talk about him, look at him, even when you talk to him; you can`t even breathe, and you can`t even speak to him, Donnie said.


Okay...well this is something. I feel like this is perhaps a little too short of a part to be posting from a chapter, because unless this chapter happens to be incredibly small two lines of dialogue like this should barely make up anything from it, and this really isn't telling us too much about what's going at all. But still, I will try and see what I can get from this.

Looking a little closely at these two lines, there is a bit more here that you can uncover than just the two characters. The topic they appear to be discussing does hint at quite a bit, especially the way in which they seem to be discussing it. And that makes things interesting, it tells us a couple of things about who these people might be. I think that's a nice touch. It's hard to judge too much more than that however from what we have so far. It does however seem like a pair of fairly realistic characters discussing a situation that could be interesting.

Overall there's nothing that bad I can spot here from the little we have to work with.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Sun Mar 15, 2009 1:35 pm
syd1992 says...



This is a section of my story:


`` Boy I don`t like him like that.``


`` Dominique you know you like him: you talk about about him; look at him; even when you talk to him you can`t even breathe.





To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.
— Proverbs 18:13