“What’s wrong?” he asked, wiping away my tears with his thumb.
“I…this feels so good, but I just can’t.”
He was quiet for a while, trying to process what I had just said.
“But we agreed we’d try,” he said and I heard in his voice that he was close to crying himself.
“I know,” I said, “But I mean…you know why I broke up with Lee, I need some time to think, to breathe…and this…well, it makes it hard for me to breathe. I mean like, this is so serious, and-“
“Please stop,” he said, “You don’t have to explain anything. I know how you feel, or at least I thought I knew and you said you wanted to try this. Dammit, Maddy! You even kinda convinced me to try this, remember? And now this?! You can’t just change your mind!”
“Yes, I can!” I said, but then I regretted it and added, “I mean you don’t want to be with someone who’s not ready for this, right?”
He sighed swallowed, but he couldn’t help it and I saw how the tears in his eyes welled up, “Maddy…You’re the first one in a while that I could really imagine being with and…you know if we break up…I’m not sure if I could be your friend anymore. I mean I could try, but it would take a long time and I’m not sure if it wouldn’t just hurt too much, you know?”
I nodded; I knew exactly what he meant. If we broke up now, our friendship was over, simple as that, and that thought made me cry even more. I wasn’t ready to lose him, I would never be ready and I had hoped I never had to be, but I just couldn’t just stay with him and give up on my dream. The numerous times when I had tried writing ever since I broke up with Lee and had tried to live more fully showed that I needed more time and I was afraid that being with Damian only set me back again. I wouldn’t put my dream aside for a guy, that’s just not who I was, but was it worth losing Damian, my best friend and now even lover, over this? Would I be ready to write again eventually anyway, no matter if I was with him or not? I had no idea, but I already started to feel trapped again, even though it felt so good to be with him. I was so confused and him taking my hands and caressing my face didn’t really help me to concentrate.
“Why don’t you just sleep over this, think it through again, okay?” he asked.
I nodded, maybe that was a good idea. He took me into his arms and I hid my face in his shirt and started sobbing.
Being in his arms felt so soothing, but at the same time hurt so much and I knew that no one of us would be able to sleep tonight. Not with me sobbing uncontrollably and not with him crying quietly on my shoulder.
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125,011 Literary Works • 672,841 Reviews
Try use more descriptive words to describe the character. I love the series and want to read more though so don't stop writing. Also, could you describe the side characters a bit more? I think it would help the plot a little. Most of what you're writing is great, but to fix the small errors of your writing, you need to keep writing and practicing to get even better at it. Writing is like a sport, if you put it off for a long time, you'll get rusty. If you practice every chance you get, you'll become a "God with a Pen(cil)"
This is a really good book, and it looks like its your first one. I know how it feels to write a first book then have someone review it, but let me tell you from my point of view I can't really find anything wrong with it.
Well, there were like to small parts, but thats all the are, small.
'I knew that no one of us would be...' how about
'I knew that neither one of us would be....'
'trying to process what I had just said'
'trying to process what I just said' don't really think you need the had in there
I do wish that it was a little longer. At first I didn't know where they were at nor what they where doing, but when I read the part about him telling her to go to sleep I understood. But that still doesn't let me know what they where doing. I mean I know it obvious but still you never know what their doing.
Now if this is the first chapter then it really needs to be longer, even if its a prologue it still needs to be longer, but other than that I really do like it and hope you write more on it. I can tell the her 'Hard decision' is choosing between writer and a guy right? Thats what I get out of it anyway and the novel really fits the title.
Hope to read more
Hey, thanks for your review! I know the whole scene is a little out of context, which probably has to do with the fact that it's not the beginning of the story. I haven't written the beginning yet, just started with some random scenes. But yes, she's trying to decide between this guy, and her dream to become a writer.
And thanks for the corrections, I'm not a native speaker, so my English isn't perfect.
And there will probably more coming up soon
I'm not a native person either when it comes to my work but I'm good when it comes to others because its like I know what their trying to say even if they don't get it right the first time. I more of a person who just has ideas and write them down and they become a story.