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E - Everyone

The Last Confesion Prologue

by sunlightwarriorxo


Prologue

Harvey

3rd February 2001

“I’m glad that you’re here,” Natalie began, as we came up into her flat “to hang out for the afternoon”. It was a confined space, with a stenching smell of incense sticks, lavender and gloss. There were posters of spiritual symbols all over the royal blue walls, ranging from starsign charts, to the yin and yang symbol to star constellations - she was one of those spiritual people, you know the sort who spent most of their time hanging around Glastonbury, meditating and cleansing their auras. But it was a lovely place to be all the same - even if the smell of sandalwood incense, wants to make me sit in a corner and tear all of my hairs out with anger. “There’s something we need to discuss, something important-”

I wish I just let her come out with it straight away.

“Which I’m sure, can wait,” I said, kissing her on the cheek. “You called me because you said that you wanted to have a good time, so here I am,” I threw myself on the bed like an idiot, hoping that it would cheer her up. “Ready to have a good time, even if it might end up in my relationship with Diana becoming no more.”What was I doing?

“Stop worrying, will you? Diana will not find out about us, not unless you tell her about us, of course,” Natalie closed her door. “You know how much I like you. How much I adore you, you’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, Harvey and I never want to let you go.”

“Neither do I,” I looked into her teal blue eyes. “I like you Natalie. I really do.”

“And I like you-”“But I’m not sure if we can be together.”“Why not?”“The entire world,” I sighed. “The entire world thinks I’m with Diana. If they find out that I’m seeing you too, then I could finish my career before it’s started, and that is something, shame, that I’m not prepared to face.”

But here I was.

“No, of course it’s not. If we’re careful,” She brushed her honey blonde hair to the right side of her oversized navy blue sweatshirt. “Then, we won’t be caught. I understand she means a lot to you Harvey, I do, but I thought I did as well.”

Paying the price.

“You do, you do, Nat. I want to be with you, I really do, but I’m not sure if we’re going to work out-”

“Can you stop making excuses? If we want to be together,” She kissed me on the side of my neck. “Then we’ll make it work. If we love each other, then we’ll be together, won’t we?”

“Yeah, yeah, I suppose we will. Are you proud that Snowflake reached number one?”

“Of course I am. That’s a remarkable achievement you know, Harvey. 17, and have a number one, a worldwide famous band. You can’t get much better than that, believe me,” She looked into my eyes and smiled lovingly. “You’re amazing, you know that. Talented, Hard-working, Kind, Funny. You deserve the best, the greatest and good things in life, you know. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before-”

“I would say the same, but you know how strongly I feel about Diana,” I sighed. “I don’t know what I should do. I love Diana but, I like you too, and given the circumstances you’re in, living here in this flat, with a low-paid job, I feel bad for leaving you. I do, but surely, if I decide to stay with Diana, your Uncle could help you out, right?”

“Help me out? How?” She asked, looking confused.

“You know, financially. You said that he owns a record company, so surely he’d have a good income-”

“Which he spends on him, Aimee, and young Arya. No, I don’t want to go to him, I’d feel too embarrassed-” She said, with her face screwing up in disgust.

She looked as though she hated the idea.

“Why? He is your family-”

“Yes, but I’m not the sort to go to people for help, Harvey. If I had a problem,” She got up from the bed. “I’d rather keep it to myself, then get help. And speaking of problems,” She turned to look at me. “I have something I need to tell you and if I don’t tell you now, then you’ll find out from someone, and if you find out from someone, you’ll get angry with me and that’s the last thing-”

“Nat, I could never get angry with you.” I said, reassuringly.

“Are you sure about that?” She asked, unsure as if I was lying or not.

“Yes, I’m sure. I know the way we feel about each other, but at the moment my music’s going so well and I have such a great relationship with Diana,” I put my head in my hands. “I know you’re probably going to hate me for saying this, but I’m not sure if we can continue this for much longer-”

“Wait?” She dropped her hairbrush on the laminate floor in shock. “You’re breaking up with me?”

“I never said that-”

“Oh, really?” She turned around to face me, with her arms folded across her chest in anger. “So you love Diana more than you love me?”

“No-”

“This whole time,” She shook her head in disbelief. “I’ve just been your bit on the side, haven’t I? The project you work on whenever you feel like it, the person who’ll you’ll just drop in and see whenever’s most convenient for you,” She bent down to pick her hairbrush. “Don’t try to look innocent.”

“I’m not, I’m just trying to see things realistically, Nat, I really am.”

“How?” She demanded, scowling in anger.

“Me and Diana want to have a child.”

We wanted to have Missy.

“What did you just say?!”

“Yes, you heard,” I look up at her. “It’ll be three and a half years next year, since we got together, the best three years of our lives, to be honest-”

“Harvey, I’m pregnant.” She blurted out. “And it’s yours.”

“What?” I said, horrified. “You’re pregnant?”“Yes,” She nodded. “I took a test last week, and I’m six weeks.”“Six weeks?! How?”“Well,” She bit her lip. “The dates add up, yeah? We did it, that night-”“And we weren’t obviously careful enough,” I snapped. “Get rid of it.”“What? Why?”

“I said get rid of it.”“What if I don’t want to?” She said, folding her arms. “What if I want to keep it?”“That isn’t your decision to make,” I spat. “I don’t want it, so get rid of it.”

And that was the story of our affair.

“Harvey and Harry: Revelations are exposed at the Heartland’s singer’s press conference exposing the biological identity of eighteen year old Harry Fitzgerald as his son from an affair back in February 2001-”

“Missy or Music?: That was the revelation William Fitzgerald proposed that at the end of yesterday’s dramatic press conference, as Harvey Middleheart addressed the ongoing media scandal created by his ex-wife Diana-”

“Harvey Middleheart, lead singer of Heartland, is revealed to have a biological son with William Fitzgerald’s deceased niece, Natalie, sending shockwaves around the world-”


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Wed May 12, 2021 6:54 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi sunlightwarriorxo,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

"I'm glad that you're here," Natalie began, as we came up into her flat "to hang out for the afternoon".


You've written a great introduction, which I really like. You describe with a certain accuracy that gives the reader the same feeling as the two of them just coming to Natalie's flat. I feel like I'm going to an old friend's house and just watching her rearrange the furniture. :D
I would only change something here at the beginning in the sentence. The split between her spoken sentence seems a little too long between the first person narrator's description. On the one hand, the second half seems a bit stilted, but on the other hand, I would put it in the first dialogue because it seems odd. Almost like someone saying that and yawning in between before continuing the sentence. But that's just my opinion, I don't know what others think. :D It just reads a little strange to me.

"Ready to have a good time, even if it might end up in my relationship with Diana becoming no more. "What was I doing?


I assume the dialogue belongs to Harvey. It seems a bit strange that he says that to Natalie and then thinks about it himself. I would make it a thought process of his, or rewrite it a bit. Maybe it would also fit if Natalie said that to him.

I really like the conversation between Harvey and Natalie. It seems real and like something out of a movie or a book. Except for the point where they both say "like you" to each other, where I think "love you" would fit much better, I like the way you've constructed the dialogue. I enjoy the way they talk into each other. It creates a certain dominance between the characters, where you don't really know who is better off - Harvey or Natalie?

"What?" I said, horrified. "You're pregnant?" "Yes," She nodded. "I took a test last week, and I'm six weeks." "Six weeks?! How?" "Well," She bit her lip. "The dates add up, yeah? We did it, that night-" "And we weren't obviously careful enough," I snapped. "Get rid of it." "What? Why?"


You also used that once before to make a particularly dramatic scene more dramatic and I have to say I love the idea of that. It really feels like the conversation is flaring up a lot at that moment and they're talking to each other in rapid syllables.

I found the ending a bit odd, it felt like the paragraphs there were headlines from tabloids and newspapers. If that was to be, I would rewrite the sentence "And that was the story of our affair" a bit and insert what it looked like in the press in the coming weeks or something like that.

In summary, I really enjoyed the dialogue (which took up most of the story). The perpetual tennis match that Natalie and Harvey engage in feels realistic and convincing, even if it comes across a little flat in places. But you can feel the worry and anxiety and indifference of both of them as they get closer and closer to the main issue of this meeting. You managed to create a good atmosphere that makes the reader want to read on.

I am very curious to see how you will present the coming chapters.

Have fun with your writing!

Mailice.






Thank you for your review!



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Mon May 10, 2021 8:20 pm
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AshlynPhoenix wrote a review...



Hiya Ashlyn here for a review!! Before I dive into it though please know that this review is not intended to offend you or make your writing look bad.

It was a confined space, with a stenching smell of incense sticks, lavender and gloss. There were posters of spiritual symbols all over the royal blue walls, ranging from starsign charts, to the yin and yang symbol to star constellations - she was one of those spiritual people, you know the sort who spent most of their time hanging around Glastonbury, meditating and cleansing their auras.

Love the aesthetic that paints in my mind. Good job ^^ Plus, that infers a lot about Natalie, and gives room to assume what personality she could have. She is probably a calm, cool, collected person, who knows what she wants.
“I’m glad that you’re here,” Natalie began, as we came up into her flat “to hang out for the afternoon”.

I'd make 'I'm glad that you're here'' and 'to hang out for the afternoon' one sentence and then mention that Natalie was talking as they entered the flat.
I wish I just let her come out with it straight away.

“Which I’m sure, can wait,” I said, kissing her on the cheek. “You called me because you said that you wanted to have a good time, so here I am,” I threw myself on the bed like an idiot, hoping that it would cheer her up.

You could flesh out his thoughts a bit more right here, and let us into his personality. I get that he's in love, but what's individual about the way he expressive? What's the Harvey twist to it?

“And I like you-”“But I’m not sure if we can be together.”“Why not?”“The entire world,” I sighed.

Is that stylistic choice? If not then maybe consider structuring your dialogue like this:
“And I like you-”
“But I’m not sure if we can be together.”
“Why not?”
“The entire world,” I sighed.


“Harvey, I’m pregnant.” She blurted out. “And it’s yours.”

“What?” I said, horrified. “You’re pregnant?”“Yes,” She nodded. “I took a test last week, and I’m six weeks.”“Six weeks?! How?”“Well,” She bit her lip. “The dates add up, yeah? We did it, that night-”“And we weren’t obviously careful enough,” I snapped. “Get rid of it.”“What? Why?”

Alright. I'd definitely love to see more of a reaction from Harvey. You mention he's horrified but how? What is he thinking right now? What's he physically feeling at that moment? He's a young man of 17 years, fatherhood is probably something hes' neither emotionally nor mentally ready for. I can't think of anything else to critique, so that concludes this review. I hope you found it helpful, and if not, I hope it made your day in some way <33
-Asher





The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.
— Alvin Toffler