untitled (open to suggestions)

This feeling I can't ignore Comma

A sense of emptiness and isolation Comma

Teardrops from the heavens start to pour

As I sit here in the silance
Silence instead of silance.
Like an empty hallway haunted by wispers of the past Whispers, not wispers

my mind filled with unwanted thoughts M needs to be capitalized.

I wait for a new day to come, and hope for a new beginning Period at the end.

I'm thinking "Devastation" or "End of the Beginning"... Otherwise, good job. But people, poetry does not need punctuation!!! Especially abstract poetry!

Hi there. Lavvi in to review.

So, I read this as nothing special. I've reviewed so many poems just like this today and it's dull. If you want it to be original, I suggest elongating the poem if you insist on this subject matter. Also, you need to punctuate the poem. It's blank and abrupt without it and it ruins the fluidity of the poem.

Yours,
Lavvi

This feeling I can't ignore This is a really cliche beginning. It fits and works well but it really isn't as original as you'd want to be, you know? Also, add a comma to the end of this sentence

A sense of emptiness and isolationadd a period here

Teardrops from the heavens start to pouradd a comma

As I sit here in the silancesilence you don't have to capitalize the beginning of every line;poems use punctuation more or less like prose
Like an empty hallway haunted by wispers whispers of the past comma

my mind is filled with unwanted thoughtsperiod

I wait for a new day to come, and hope for a new beginning period

I could really feel the emotion in this, the heartbreak of the entire poem. Great job on the feeling because the reader can really understand and relate and I think that's the most important part of poetry. Or really, writing in general. Great job on this! Keep writing! [:
-KatTrain

thanks for the reviews this was just a random scribbled draft so i will definatly take the advice and work on it more

Hello there. I'm Ehte, here for the review.
Where are the punctuation marks? Add punctuation marks to it. Without them your poem is like a single line. They are a major part in a poem. And now for the nitpicks.

This feeling I can't ignore cannot ignore would sound better.

A sense of emptiness and isolation emptiness and isolation are almost the same things.

Teardrops from the heavens start to pour

As I sit here in the silance As I sit here in the silence

Like an empty hallway haunted by wispers of the past Like an empty hallway haunted by whispers of the past

my mind filled with unwanted thoughts

I wait for a new day to come, and hope for a new beginning Cliche. Not a good end. You could work on it. Think of something better.

This feeling I can't ignore

A sense of emptiness and isolation

Teardrops from the heavens start to pour

As I sit here in the silance

Like an empty hallway haunted by wispers of the past

my mind filled with unwanted thoughts

I wait for a new day to come, and hope for a new beginning