it come for you
the quick but moveless beast
like a hand grabing your soul
it pulls you to the other side
the darkness.
your world becomes nothing more then a empty void
with nothing but black walls and shadow watching your every move
you are traped like a mouse in a cage,
with no were to go
trap from the light
the golden light
which you shall never see again.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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I'm guessing that you're not a native speaker. If so, I should explain the corrections I've made.
First of all, I wrote "it's coming" because you are describing an action which takes place right now, as you write your poem/as others read them.
Then you have "other side the darkness", which needs a connector there to show what the relation between the words. I assume you wanted to write about the other side of the darkness.
After that, you have two verbs "grabbing" and "trapping". Well, you need a double letter there. In the case of the verbs ended in "p" and "b" the final letter gets doubled.
Well, and that kind of sums it up.
Hello! I'm Jojo and i shall be your reviewer for today!
Here we go-
Grammar is in #FF0000 ">red.
Others are in #0000FF ">blue.
Now, with all of the edits...
Overall:
I love the concept and story you have here, but the overall grammatical flaws are really distracting. You need to add more punctuations and try to do a spell check, because you missed a few simple letters.
Also, ensure that your use of tense is constant, and add more detail to keep the reader interested.
other than that, nice job!
Keep writing!
---------------------------
-Jojo