You collapse in the dark
New driver: you keep forgetting to turn the headlights on
You keep hearing sounds on the window
& worry of eyes watching you past the glass
(Eyes are on the road, all but your own)
(& without the music your thoughts grow too firm
& without the windows down nothing feels real)
But simultaneity is too much for you
You worry it's too much for others around:
To hear the things that comfort you
To see the parts that make up your whole
If a tree falls in the forest
But won't let anyone hear it
Did it ever even fall?
Was it rooted there to begin with?
(Is existence so limited?
Are we so insubstantial?)
You push up like a seed:
Sprouting through the soil, ground cracking apart
At your stem & you want to force it
Back into place, each speck untouched
You would rather have never grown
Than ever have upset the dirt
(& your shame widens as your trunk thickens
Trying to shrink, you fear for your branches
Stretching toward sunlight:
You hate to block the view)
But plants never ask permission to grow
They don't pick a place & time to be
They keep bursting through soil &
Dropping seeds across pathways unapologetically:
& it is this that lets us breathe
(A tree falls in the forest
& it will echo forever:
A memory in the minds of those who saw it
Even though its attempted silence)
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Canary word: Present
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141,952 Literary Works • 676,153 Reviews
Ah, wow. This poem is really really beautiful. I love the extended metaphor of the tree representing a person who won't let themselves take up space. I think the tree is a very apt choice, big and silent and beautiful, providing shelter and shade to animals , but unable to see how beautiful and special they really are.
The stylistic choice of using an ampersand is interesting; it's like the writer is trying to make even their own writing smaller by contracting the words, and it really adds to the message. I feel like this poem would a great song!
This quote really crystallises the message of the poem, in my opinion. The subject of the poem would sacrifice their own existence to not inconvenience others - not even the dirt which is so inanimate and uncaring.
Thank you so much for sharing your poetry!
Ah
i accidentally sent this (facepalming)
Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
this stood out to me.HIIII!! MOON HERE!! AHHH, I'M SO EXCITED TO READ AND REVIEW YOUR WORK!! LET'S GOOOO!!
Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
As a complete introvert myself, I could really relate to this poem. It felt like the writer was putting some of my own feelings into words, especially the fear of being judged and the feeling of being a burden to others. The comparison between a person and a growing tree made me think about how we sometimes try to make ourselves smaller just to keep others comfortable.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
I have no suggestions for now.
Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
Ohh damn i can say am in love this whole poem not only specific line but ok i can say
Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
Overall i liked this poem its so good and the comparison with tree its beautiful. If i can rate this poem out of 10 i would give it solid 10 easily.Keep writing!! Thank you for sharing