Published November 10, 2011
1.
Smoke, Smoke, Smoke,
She dances in the dark.
His hand on her butt,
His cigarette under her dress.
Those perverted groping claws,
Tear away her flesh;
Her lover is just another Hyena,
His mask prettier than the rest.
It's too late for the illusion to end,
She is the mirage now --
The empowered modern women,
Is just a helpless slut.
Her skin sizzles under the spotlight,
The fame-whore has been fucked.
Her soul is annihilated from the fire
Of the cigarette in her pussy.
2.
Her heels are her wings,
She walks two feet above the ground.
Yes, she feels the agony,
But her feet are far from tired.
The men around her are bound by chains,
Their leash firmly held in her fingers.
The dicks of those filthy dogs
Are pierced by her stilettos.
Her teats spit out fire,
The volcanic modern women.
She rules the world with a smokey crown,
With the cigarette in her pussy.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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And why isn't anyone analyzing my poetry?
No one mentioned anything about both the stanzas contradicting each other. -.-
And I wanted both the stanzas to be side-by-side like columns.
Can anyone help in formatting?
Hello there!
I got to say I absolutely LOVE this. =) The imagery you put into this really helped and I love your metaphors! Great job for busting down the doors of insecurity and writing about something that most people wouldn't XD. Keep writing!
-Rynaey
Thanks so much.
Heya!
One of the most interesting poems I've read in a while. I admire your balls for writing something as graphic and raw as this. It was the perfect way to really bring your message to life in all its sub-meanings. I've really nothing to suggest so far as improvements go, but then again, I'm not the most accomplished reviewer of poetry either. A very interesting piece, that's all I have to say.
-Life.
Cigarette here is a metaphor for modernity. Not exactly penis.
Hey!
My reviewing skill's awful, but a comment:
I recently read another poem with cigarette meaning penis. Don't quite like it. And, line 3 breaks flow somehow for me.
Interesting poem anyway.