Pretty hair,
Pretty eyes,
Pretty lips,
Pretty body.
I wish people would call me pretty.
But I hate it when they do.
Call me pretty, but don't look at me.
Call me handsome and stare at me through your bedroom window.
Pretty voice,
Pretty nose,
Pretty clear,
I'm not pretty.
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139,827 Literary Works • 672,772 Reviews
Hiya! Ley here to review.<3
First impressions... This poem was very deep and meaningful. It's also very relatable, which is good to find in a poem! You showed the perfect contrast between what people think about someone, and how they truly feel about themself.
When I was reading this I felt... Sad. This poem has a subtle emotional draw to it, which is fine, especially with the approach you took here! I really felt like I was a psychiatrist or something and someone was sitting in front of me, telling me about their insecurities. It's important to note, though, that everybody is beautiful or handsome in their own ways.
My favorite line/quote is...
the last (stanza?) was the most powerful ending you could've possibly chosen for this piece, and it tied everything together! I loved how the second to last line is 'pretty clear' because it draws emphasis to the overall message in this poem!
Some things I would change would be... I would recommend splitting this poem up into stanzas! Right now it's just a big chunk of text, and dividing it would really help with the flow of this poem. I know that when you submit poetry to YWS it's hard, because there's really no way to put a space between stanzas (that I know of? Maybe ask a mod about that?).
So maybe, you could separate the stanzas with a dash? Like this:
Overall... This was a great read! I liked the overall message you portrayed here. Wonderful job! Can't wait to read more of your work in the future.
With Love,
Leya
I like this, It really speaks to the intense belief that outside validation is what we need, only to find that it really, truly, sounds fake. The intense longing of acceptance, only that when you are accepted, you can't help but wonder when they'll start laughing at you, and stab you in the back. I also like the last two lines where it mirrors the first four lines before divulging the speaker's core belief. That was a very clever way to deliver the true intentions of the speaker. The only thing that I can't quite figure out is the eighth line: "Call me handsome and stare ate me through your bedroom window." It seems to contradict the one before. Does the speaker truly not wish to be seen? Or does the speaker wish to be seen, only from afar, and wish for compliments from people she doesn't care about? There seems to be two separate groups that the speaker is talking about. Other than that, I really like how you put this into words. Its something that I too struggle with, and always held close to my chest. Well done!