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rainy storm

by soundofmind


A/N: listen to me sing the song here if you'd like


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Tue Oct 02, 2018 6:24 am
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FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...



Hi Shikora here.

Wow this song is just so lovely! You have a real gift. I can see that you like writing songs to. I really like the first for lines in this song, i just find it so heart warming. It kind of reminds me of my poem I wrote called Falling Rain. Just it's a song. I went and listened to you singing it and you just have such a lovely voice. You should keep writing songs. :D

Your friend
Shikora




soundofmind says...


Thanks so much! Glad you liked it!





I'm glad I get to read your songs! ;)



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Thu Mar 01, 2018 3:32 am
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MidnightRhode wrote a review...



I'd love to say, this song is pretty good. It's not as bad as you might think it is. I even listened to you sing it. Lovely voice, is that you playing the guitar? It's amazing. If you would, tell your sister that it's a great little thing to be inspired of. I can't actually believe that someone could write as well as this song. I mean, yeah... I'm only fourteen... But i believe that it's a very good song. Thanks for reading and... I'd love to hear more.




soundofmind says...


aw, thanks midnightrhode!



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Sun Feb 25, 2018 7:56 pm
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Lauren2010 wrote a review...



Hi soundofmind!

This is such a lovely, sweet poem. I really adore rain & storm imagery and I enjoy the way you address the storm directly.

At the beginning of the poem, I particularly enjoy the kind of conversation the narrator is having with the storm. It's almost as if the narrator is assuring the storm that it is more than the storm sees, but at the same time perhaps asking the storm for help? Or asking the storm to continue? It's possible I'm reading a lot into this, because I quite like that idea, though. xD

The second half of the poem falters a bit for me. I suspect it's meant to have a religious tone, overall, since many of the phrases in the final two stanzas echo a lot of what I know about how religious people refer to their relationship with god or their religion. These are important and real feelings, so none of them are WRONG to have in a poem of course. They do feel a little over-familiar though. I wonder if there's a way to portray those thoughts or feelings in a way that feels more surprising?

I'm also very interested in the middle stanza:

You say you're warm
Bury me deep
Drown me in sleep
Do you believe
That i can be


To be honest, I'm very confused by it. However! I really like the idea of the narrator continuing to address the storm, and that the storm is warm (typically, we associate storms with cold water, I think) but there is a shift in tone or message or something here that I'm not quite following. I think it could help to be a little clearer here in that shift.

Otherwise, this was such a pleasant read! Thanks so much for sharing, and please do keep writing!

--Lauren




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Sun Feb 25, 2018 7:16 pm
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LakeOfCancer wrote a review...



This is very good, and being inspired by your little sister's poem when she was five!? That's freaking awesome!

Lake here for another review, and hopefully to keep The Blue Fish in the lead! So what I first noticed when reading this poem is that you were rhyming, and believe me! When writing, I find that rhyming is the toughest thing to do, since you want to make a statement, but you also want it to be like lyrics to a song, rhyming every other line.

Now honestly, I don't have many things to comment on. So let's get on with it, shall we? :D

Ok so first of all, I loved the third and fifth/last stanza! Not only did you continue your rhyming, but you also made that wonderful statement! And that's what I love in poems, the uniqueness of it, how one will use different words to creatively express different emotions running through their head. And you did just that!

Second of all, I would like to see more of this emotion, I know it was just based off another's poem, but I would love to see what you could do with this, and expand on it! (:

And lastly, after the second stanza, I would love to see what this storm thinks of this person, girl, boy, doesn't matter. I would love to know if the storm thinks this person is sad, happy, whatever!XD

So that's it from me! Hopefully this helped you, in a way. I look forward to seeing more form you! Keep up the fantastical work friend! I'll talk to you soon.



~ Lake :D




soundofmind says...


So sorry this reply is late, but thank you so much for your review! Thank you for the positive feedback!



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Fri Feb 23, 2018 1:14 am
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Shootingmoons says...



This is awesome poetry I could never do this. My mind is too... blah, to connect words together.

Poetry is super awesome because it could honestly be about anything. It could be about an ethereal reality, or a scary dream. It could even be about chickens :T

Anyways, keep up the amazing work! <3




soundofmind says...


haha, thanks a bunch shootingmoons! <3 Glad you like it



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Thu Feb 22, 2018 11:14 pm
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lelu says...



Loved this. Question: The last line made me wonder if you're actually a Christian because I am too and it seems like a non-believer wouldn't write that line.




soundofmind says...


Yes, I am a Christian!



lelu says...


Yay! I mean, not to complain about most people not being Christian just because the scientific theory of evolution is presented as proven truth even though it's not proven which makes people secular humanists...but yay! TheBlueCat is too, I think.



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Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:20 am
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Charm says...



you're so incredibly talented like omg you are destined to be famous. you're voice is so good and your lyrics are amazing and like i'm so shocked that i know someone as talented as you like omg. (also i lowkey want you to do the soundtrack to my book if it ever becomes a movie lol because i think that would be amazing).




soundofmind says...


!! thank you so so much marms <3 (and I would lowkey be down with that someday)



Charm says...


cc:




Besides, if you want perfection, write a haiku. Anything longer is bound to have some passages that don't work as well as they might.
— Philip Pullman