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i'll stay with you

by soundofmind


A/N: listen to the song as you read

Here I’ll stay with you
Don’t tell me you don’t want me to
Here I’ll hold you close
Until I see your eyes closed

Here I’ll hold your hand
Together walk on grains of sand
Perfect reverie
Will be lost to our memory

And here, I'm waiting for
A long time
But for you, I will stay still
We don’t have to get it right
Right away

Life slips through the space
Between our fingers, love erased
What should wait for me
On that end of eternity?

Cause here I’ve waited for
A long time
For you, I've kept my peace
Knowing you will be alright
Gone away
Gone your way
Gone away


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Points: 32
Reviews: 3

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Sat Jan 26, 2019 1:39 pm
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Awkwardboy says...



If that's your voice, I must say it's ASMRtastic. I apsolutely love how relaxing this sounds yet gives me a sense of nostalgia for something I've never had.
If that even makes any sense.




soundofmind says...


Yes, that%u2019s my voice!! Glad you like it haha.



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268 Reviews


Points: 15159
Reviews: 268

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Thu Jan 24, 2019 1:10 pm
FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...



Hi, Shikora here with another review for you.

Let's get to it.

Now this is a really cool song you have wrote here like always. The words all run together really well, I think you have done a really good job.

But I did see one thing, that needs to be fixed.
As I was reading I saw that you didn't put much punctuation in. Now this does kind of affect the flow of the words when I read it. I'm going to show you one or two places you can put some punctuation.

Here I’ll stay with you
Don’t tell me you don’t want me to
Here I’ll hold you close
Until I see your eyes closed


The first and third line needs a comma, and the second and fourth line needs a fall stop. If you do this it will make the flow a lot better. Now I don't know if I'm wrong about adding punctuation, because I don't know how to write songs, so if you know you don't need t as punctuation then don't worry about what I said.

But other then that, I really liked reading your song. I know I have said this before, but you have a real gift, and you should keep writing such lovely and heart warming songs.Never stop writing, and I hope to see another song from you soon. I hope you have a great day/night and have plenty of inspiration for another song.

Your friend
Shikora. :D




soundofmind says...


Thanks for the review! Glad you like the song!





Glad I could help.
Cool avatar by the way.



soundofmind says...


haha thanks!





Your welcome.



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40 Reviews


Points: 2668
Reviews: 40

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Thu Jan 24, 2019 8:06 am
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hiraeth wrote a review...



Hi soundofmind!

This was so lovely! I got 'chasing cars' vibes off this (probably because I was listening to it while reading this), it goes pretty good with the music. And well, its kind of funny that you had 6 likes and no reviews in here; but that's just how good this is: it needs no word, people are speechless at such a well-written song. I'm pretty sure some band will be ready to take this up.

We don’t have to get it right
Right away


This part is probably my favorite; and you can probably tell why. Two different meanings to the same word, coming consecutively in a sentence; this kind of writing is professional and is seen rarely in 21st century EDM generation.

We can feel the poet's feelings; their love, tenderness, forgiveness, longing...all are very evident and excellently put across to the reader. It's a beautiful song, with beautiful lyrics; and a beautiful meaning.

I don't really have any advice this time; this was perfect (it's probably my shortest review yet; but I have nothing to say).

Keep writing! I hope to read more from you. By the way, your art is beautiful :)

Good day,
hiraeth




soundofmind says...


Thank you so much! I%u2019m glad you liked the song so much. Also haha I actually sang and recorded it myself -the link is in the author%u2019s note in the beginning- but it%u2019s cool to hear interpretation from just reading it, and also encouraging that you like the lyrics as is without music too! :)




The secret of being tiresome is to tell everything.
— Voltaire