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The Lost Dragon Chapter 2 (LMS VI)

by soundofmind


Chapter 2: I Know Why I'm Out Here. Why are You Out Here?

This was not how she saw her evening going.

"It's not my cow," the man answered. "But it's my boss's cow."

Clandestine stared at him for a moment.

She was careful when she left Bone. The sun had just begun to set when she brought out a torch and set it alight with a match, but as it got darker and she traveled further from the town, Clandestine - evidently - foolishly believed that she was alone.

Thing was, waving a torch around wasn't all that hard, but keeping it lit for the several hours she needed it through the night was tiresome. When she couldn't see the town in view anymore she decided to take a calculated risk and use her magic to conjure a flame to keep the wind wolves' attention. With the fire she created, she was able to make it dance and jump around enough to keep the wolves' interest, and she wasn't expecting to run into anyone out on the open plains.

She supposed she hadn't accounted for cowboys being a possibility.

"Oh!" she laughed. Nervously, though she tried not to let it show. "That's great. So, uh, you were out here looking for the cow, then?"

And not trying to find a mage who was using magic illegally. Right? She found herself studying him, searching for some kind of reaction or clue. Suspicion. Fear. Anger. Anything.

For someone who indirectly professed to be a cowboy or something of the sort, he was at least dressed for the part. He had a cowboy hat with a curved brim, a worn leather jacket, a button-up shirt, faded jeans, and dusty boots. Everything.

It was a bit harder to make out the details of his face, seeing as the only light they had was her torch, but it looked like he had a short, reddish-brown beard, and hair just long enough to stick out of the back of his hat. He had thick brows that shadowed his eyes, but she could catch what looked like a few small scars on his face. They were a lighter, whiter tone against his deeply tanned skin. One was on his cheek, and there was a larger one on his neck, peeking out from his collar.

Overall, he looked a little battered. Clandestine didn't expect cowboys to look clean and tidy, but she couldn't help but wonder about the stories behind the scars. Maybe working with cows was rougher than it looked. Or maybe he was more than he seemed.

The man furrowed his brows slightly and looked at her strangely, seeming to notice how closely she was studying him. He inched closer to the cow, holding a rope.

"Yes," was all he said as he brought the rope around the cow's neck.

Well, that didn't give her much to work with. Maybe he hadn't seen it after all, or maybe he was just really good at keeping a straight face.

"Well," Clandestine said, mustering up a smile that felt very forced. "I'm glad you found it."

The silence that followed was painful.

The man averted his attention to tying the knot around the cow's neck and didn't give her a second glance. Was he avoiding interaction because he was afraid of her magic? Maybe he was the kind to look away and ignore it, or maybe he was the kind to ignore it but report it later, once he got to town. That was the safe route. Let the mage hunters deal with it.

If that was the case, she couldn't just let him walk away.

"So," she compulsively spoke up, trying to sound as casual as possible. "You're a cowboy, then? That's why you've got a cow, right?"

This was not her brightest moment. Yeah. Ask the cowboy if he has a cow because--

"Yes," the man answered. There was a small pause, and he pulled the knot tight, then looked up at her.

"And... you are?"

Clandestine was starting to have second thoughts. Maybe it was best to call it quits now. Run away. Abandon everything. Start over. Start a new life. She had to do that once before, anyway, right? She could manage again. Maybe. Except...

"Right," Clandestine said with another laugh. She reached out to extend a hand but reached out with the hand holding the torch first. Realizing her mistake too late, she faintly laughed again as she pulled it back and freed her hand from the reins, trusting her horse Billy to stay still for this one handshake.

"My name's Clandestine," she said. "Resident registered Monster Hunter. I was just out here taking care of some wind wolves. They were bothering some folks out in Bone, just south of us, until I led 'em up here."

She noticed he didn't reciprocate the handshake. He only stared at her hand, like he was thinking about it. Well, that was awkward.

Did he think she was going to conjure fire or something? Like some kind of cruel trick?

"What about you?" she decided to ask. "Where are you coming from?"

After another second of hesitation, the man reached out his hand and shook hers. She didn't know why she even held her hand out for that long. She didn't know if she'd ever had someone be that slow to shake her hand before.

He shook her hand firmly, just once, and then quickly pulled his calloused hand away.

"We were up north," he said. "My boss has a ranch south of here, outside of Bone."

Clandestine nodded. So, they were going south while she was going north. They were probably the only two groups of people out on the plains at this hour, and of course, they collided when she was using magic.

Her mind was working again, trying to think of something to say while she still had this man's attention, before he went off to tell everyone she was a mage.

"Well--" he started just as words began flying out of her mouth.

"What's your name?" she blurted, running him over.

They stared at each other for a second too long.

"Matt," he answered plainly. He looked behind her, past her and Billy. Her eyes followed, looking back to where she'd been running around with the wind wolves before they'd dissipated.

"The wolves...?" he asked, his question incomplete.

Clandestine whirled back around to face him.

"Oh! Well, they've had their fun for now," she said, assuming he was wondering where they went. "I've been keeping them occupied for several miles. They're pretty curious beasts, you know. They're too elusive to be caught, being immaterial and all, but they like a good game. It's the best way to lead them away from places they're causing trouble. Kind of wished I had a firework on me, though. That would've been loads easier than leading them off by myself, but you work with what you've got."

Matt nodded slowly. She found herself belatedly realizing maybe he hadn't meant to ask about where the wolves went at all. If he'd seen her magic, he would've seen them go as well.

Matt opened his mouth to speak.

"Are you and your other cowboy friends close by?" Clandestine said before he could turn the conversation back to her ability to conjure fire.

Matt's eyes flicked to the side, behind him.

"Just over the hill," he said.


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Sun Dec 18, 2022 3:43 am
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Shady wrote a review...



Heya sound! Shady back again with review number three coming at you this fine Review Day, courtesy of the Heisting Chickens. Let's jump right on in!

Clandestine stared at him for a moment.


aha, I was right!

It had been close to midnight when she brought out a torch and set it alight with a match, but as she traveled further and further from the town, Clandestine - evidently - foolishly believed that she was alone.


Wait a second, I don't think your timelines are lining up, my friend. It was sunset when James went out in search of his boss's cow. You're telling me he's been searching for long enough that he's run into someone who didn't even set out until after midnight? Like hours upon hours? Why haven't any of his coworkers come to check on him yet, if that's the case?

Maybe working with cows was rougher than it looked.


it issss -- they're awful

"Matt," he answered plainly.


Ahh, so he is lying about it. Interesting. Naughty James tsk tsk

~

Gosh, this is so painfully awkward, and I am here for it xD The two of them are such a couple of disasters and interacting with one another where they're both trying to be all mysterious and elusive is just so painful. But in a good way... ish xD Like I've got second-hand embarrassment from it all, but honestly? I feel like that is a mark of good prose, since it's making me squirm.

Great work! Can I squeeze in another? I'm sure gonna try~

See you soon!

~Shady 8)




soundofmind says...


Wait a second, I don't think your timelines are lining up, my friend. It was sunset when James went out in search of his boss's cow.

I'm also blaming this on LMS brain because i totally didn't mean for it to be midnight and yes i did get the timeline mixed up lmao. TANK U FOR CATCHING THAT i need to fix that.... soon.... before i forget



Shady says...


aha happy to help ^^



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Sat Dec 17, 2022 11:52 pm
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FireEyes wrote a review...



Heya sound! Another incoming review!

OoOoOoO this is a dual perspective story, I see how it is. I like this introduction to Clandestine, and beautiful name by the way. I like the slow introduction to magic being outlawed. It's a timeless theme, and I can't wait to see how you play around with it later! Anyway on to the review!

I'll start with critique. There isn't much to critique at this point of time. I could have asked for a little bit more dialogue, but the time of the scene calls for more observation, which you implemented well!

Harping back to the last chapter I reviewed, I must have gotten mixed up with you went to look for the cow. But that could be an aspect to improve upon, know which characters were which, and what they are doing.

I can't really say much else to awkward phrasing because the scene is inherently awkward. You nailed it.

That's it for critique, let me praise your work! Again, I like Clandestine's name. I can't wait to see her character develop throughout. Her anxiety if Matt saw her using her magic was super interesting. It makes me ask so many questions: How strict are these rules on magic? How respected of a job is it to be a mage hunter? Are the wind wolves creatures more drawn to people who can wield magic? It is all so interesting!

"Are you and your other cowboy friends close by?" Clandestine said before he could turn the conversation back to her ability to conjure fire.

Matt's eyes flicked to the side, behind him.

"Just over the hill," he said.
This is chilling. I'm rooting for Clandestine now. I could almost feel the night wind gust by them, maybe the cause of one of those wind wolves ;[i]]/i]). But honestly, great building of tension this early on!

But that's all I have for today, I hope you found some of it useful! I'll probably be back soon with another review here. Anyway byeeeeeeee <3




soundofmind says...


Harping back to the last chapter I reviewed, I must have gotten mixed up with you went to look for the cow. But that could be an aspect to improve upon, know which characters were which, and what they are doing.

I may be brain farting but I'm actually not sure to what you're referring. What exactly was confusing/got you mixed up?

THANK YOU AGAIN for another review and for reading btw :^)



FireEyes says...


Oh no worries, I was referring to when James went back to the camp and they're all like, "who is gonna look for the cow?" And I thought it was James instead of Matt



soundofmind says...


Ah!!! Ok ok



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Fri Dec 16, 2022 3:20 pm
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Liminality wrote a review...



Hi again sound!

First Impressions

Haha what a delightfully awkward first conversation xD James comes across as being gruffer from the outside than the inside, and that’s relatable. I like reading Clandestine’s train of thought – there were a lot of chuckle-worthy lines that make her an endearing character, like this one:

She supposed she hadn't accounted for cowboys being a possibility.

And this one, which also got a grin out of me:
"So," she compulsively spoke up, trying to sound as casual as possible. "You're a cowboy, then? That's why you've got a cow, right?"


Character Development

I like Clandestine’s introduction because it shows a few different aspects of her character. She comes across as being a bit more nervous than James, though her nervousness is directed towards one specific concrete thing, which is James finding out she’s a mage and reporting her, whereas I’ve just realised James’ anxiousness was a bit more vague in the first chapter. Clandestine is also clearly intelligent in some ways, for example, knowing what to do about the wind wolves and also trying to occupy James’ time as much as she can to prevent him from reporting her (although the reader knows that’s now what he’s thinking about).

I also like being able to see James from an outside perspective. I was already supposing he had a difficult past, and it seems Clandestine might share my suspicions? I hadn’t expected him to have a beard, though, so that is fun to know!

Descriptions and Narration

Maybe it was best to call it quits now. Run away. Abandon everything. Start over. Start a new life. She had to do that once before, anyway, right? She could manage again. Maybe. Except...

I feel this sounds kind of similar to a thought James had in the last chapter? I might be misremembering though. I didn’t really feel like I could relate to this thought process because I’m not really sure what’s at stake or what Clandestine is calling quits from.
Matt nodded slowly. She found herself belatedly realizing maybe he hadn't meant to ask about where the wolves went at all. If he'd seen her magic, he would've seen them go as well.

Hmm I don’t know what he meant to ask about either? I think Clandestine’s first guess kind of made sense, actually! Maybe it will be revealed in the next chapter.

Worldbuilding

It looks like I was right about the mage persecution! I like how you depicted that here in Clandestine’s fearful thoughts. I thought it was believable how she talked about it in her head.
That was the safe route. Let the mage hunters deal with it.

This was an ominous thought. It kind of contrasts with Clandestine’s outwardly bubbly appearance and I like that. I’d be interested to see how she deals with this persecution further down the line.
They're pretty curious beasts, you know. They're too elusive to be caught, being immaterial and all, but they like a good game.

Oh that’s super cute, I love them even more <3

Overall

The atmosphere of this one feels more tense than the previous one, and makes me think that it’s building up to something happening, like maybe a decision being made? I like how the characters have been presented so far and am interested in watching them develop more.

Hope this helps – and keep writing!
-Lim




soundofmind says...


I'm super happy that you enjoyed Clandestine's introduction. :^) She's definitely endearing and a bit anxious, but I'm also glad she comes off as intelligent (she is!!). In earlier iterations of her character she's occasionally come off as a bit ditsy, so I'm glad I was able to write the reverse of that haha.

I'm glad the worldbuilding is interesting to you and thank you so much for reading and leaving such thoughtful reviews. It's always nice to see how people interpret stuff. :^)




Who overcomes by force, hath overcome but half his foe.
— John Milton (Poet)