"Always!"

by sorrowfulnight

Published October 9, 2012

You, always had my back, from day one.

You, were always there,when I felt down.

You,were always able to give me; confidence, courage, and a sense of wisdom.

Those memories, still remain within.

I will treasure, the time we had together.

Always and forever," till the end!"

Comments & reviews · 3
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nevanoel
Review
nevanoel wrote a review Review · Nov 29, 2012

Because of the length, the only critique I can give you would be on grammar. (I know. Boo! Grammar Nazi!)

I found a misplaced comma/semicolon/quotation/space in almost every line. This may have been intentional, but it was distracting. Feel free to yell at me if you disagree.

"You, were always there,( )when I felt down."

"You( )were always able to give me( )confidence, courage, and a sense of wisdom."
The comma and semicolon just cut up a sentence that is lovely without them.

"Those memories( )still remain within.
I will treasure( )the time we had together."

As far as content, it is just nice. I really liked it. Excuse my grammar picky-ness. I cannot help myself sometimes.

:) I cannot wait to see what you write next.

Neva

TemptingDreams wrote a review Review · Oct 14, 2012

Seems like this person means a lot to you..We all have one those people. The person we that keeps us going everyday :)

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gothicangel Comment
gothicangel commented Comment · Oct 11, 2012

this was kinda sad!



You walk into this room at your own risk, because it leads to the future, not a future that will be but one that might be. This is not a new world, it is simply an extension of what began in the old one. It has patterned itself after every dictator who has ever planted the ripping imprint of a boot on the pages of history since the beginning of time. It has refinements, technological advances, and a more sophisticated approach to the destruction of human freedom. But like every one of the super states that preceded it, it has one iron rule: logic is an enemy and truth is a menace.
— Rod Serling