Specially For You

Hey, I noticed that this didn't have any reviews, so I'd like to go ahead and review this for you.

So, as an overview, I'd like to say that this is a nice poem. I like the message and the theme behind it, but at the same time, it's pretty simple. A lot of the time, simplicity in poetry can be better than something hugely complicated, just because you have so little time and so few words to make your point. So keep that in mind for future poems, the way you have handled this is well done.

So, what I like to do is to go through poems stanza by stanza and make comments as I go, to keep it more organized. So, let’s begin with the first stanza.

You have liked several people
And the experiences were all so great
But you still met someone else you liked
And moved on to his as a change
Okay, let me start off by saying that this confused me a little bit. I think what confused me the most is the last line, because I think the word “his” is supposed to be “him.” Based on that assumption, you have pretty much made the entire point of this poem clear through this one stanza. And that’s good, as long as you stick to it throughout,

which you have. So good job there!
One thing that I wasn’t sure of – is this supposed to rhyme? It seems as though you have rhyming in some places and then you don’t in others. My advice would be to pick one and stick to it. It might not have even been on purpose, but it still sounds like rhyme slightly. Key word being slightly, which means that if you WERE trying to rhyme, you’ve got some work to do.

Another comment I’d like to make—and this applies to the entire poem—I think you need to work on word choice quite a bit. For example, you use the word “like” or a variation of that word several times. Try to find an alternate word, and it will spice up the poem quite nicely.
Also, consider adding punctuation. If you don’t want to, it’s fine, but I still think it might improve what you have. In some cases, it can make it flow better.

And after all those past experiences
You met someone who you really like
So unique, irreplaceable in this world
He's all there is in your mind

I think this is good, the idea in here is very clear. I can tell where the poem’s going pretty easily. (Again, you repeated the word “like,” consider changing?) Also, you’ve got a problem with the last line. I’m not sure exactly what that’s supposed to say, but it’s just a minor wording issue.

So you observed him everyday
From his family to his car
You'd be happy when you see him at school
And depressed when you guys are apart

All right, this seems slightly stalker-ish to me. Is that how it’s supposed to sound? Judging by the rest of this, I don’t think so. Another thing—consider changing the word “guys,” it sounds extremely informal, and honestly I think it ruins the tone a little bit, and that’s not the only place where this happens for me, either. But it’s not that big of a deal. Just try to go through and check if there are words that you’d like to replace.

Sometimes you look at him
And sometimes he looks at you
His look, style, attitude were all one of a kind
God made him specially for you

Hmm. I think you ended this quite nicely, but the line preceding that is a bit iffy to me. “Look” and “style” seem quite shallow to be judging a person’s character by, and if you’re going for a deep connection between the two of them, I don’t know if that’s the quite right thing to say. Again, if you like the way it is, it’s fine if you don’t want to change it. It’s entirely up to you.

Thanks a lot for sharing! Keep writing!
~Devan