Published February 9, 2011
Backstabber, Murderer, Dream-killer, Soul-stealer, Heart-Breaker. LIAR.
Stealing us. Keeping us. Taking us away. Keeping us forever. Stealing our Soul. Breaking our Hearts. Killing our Dreams. We tell you our secrets, we give you our souls.
You tell the whole world. You murder us.
You whispered sweet things in our ears. You promised us the world. The whispered sweet things become poison, sliding through our minds. Your promises become empty. They become Lies. You Lie, Cheat, Murder, Steal. You kill us.
Yet we still love you… our Backstabber, Murderer, Dream-killer, Soul-stealer, Heart-Breaker.LIAR!
wrote this today during class...hope you likes XD
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140,293 Literary Works • 673,080 Reviews
I loved the first line! The way you grabbed the attention and brought in down on that one word (LIAR). You brought all the emotion into hate, which played well here. I'd love to see more of this expression.
I like this. The imagery is simplistic yet strong and the powerful appeal of it is lovely.
I found it actually, though the structure could be worked on slightly better, a really emotive piece as what you have stated in it is really good.
It may work slightly better if you add another verse or too aswell to give more detail.
I especially liked:
So strong.
A fabulous piece of poetry.
Well done!