The world tilts slightly
I can feel it in my toes
Like a deciduous tree in the fall.
Red, orange and yellow leaves,
But instead of leaves that are falling
It’s like a ticking time bomb strapped to the bottom of my chair
Or the Grim Reaper with his omnipotent like scythe.
And the closer I come to understanding
The more it feels like the ground is the roof
And the sun is the moon.
Beautiful and inviting on a clear summer night.
But chilling and unknown in the evanescent fog of early morning.
The world tilts even more slightly now,
And I can see that it’s trying to spill me onto the frozen floor.
Her tears tell me more than any words,
While her clenched hands and abstemious demeanor on life,
Throw tears into my already overflowing irises.
Sure, it could have happened but did it happen?
Were the words and letters just vortex like lies of deceit.
Because the idea of it happening is like an ice cold shock of water square in the face,
Or a dream where you’re climbing up a precipitous mountain,
While attached to heavy chains that are trying to pull you down.
The world tips almost upside down now,
and as I close my eyes to brace myself for the long and lonely fall,
I stay where I am.
On the floor with the heavy force of gravity weighing down on my organs,
But this is a new feeling not just the world tipping slightly.
It’s as if the whole universe is twisting and turning,
Choking and clawing as it all clicks into a horribly clear mess.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Outstanding! You had my interest from the first line to the middle. I was wondering myself if the world really tilts. I think that you should eliminate some stanza's that won't be missed and readers will still have an idea of what your talking about. Aside from that, it's time for the obvious answer; amazing.
This is really lovely! I love how it has both beauty and mystery together. My favorite part is the very beginning because it captured my interest right away and was pleasing to the ears. I could imagine this poem as a song
The only problem I had with it was towards the end I started to lose interest so you may want to add a little more to it to make it a little more diverse or something-but hey it could just be because I have a short attention span. Still, it is absolutely wonderful and well written!