Is this body that I have,
really
my
own?
When I feel my heart beating under my breast,
is it
my
heart?
Or am I just an object,
created
for
someone else?
A simple thing with no,
soul
or
free will?
Or do I have the right to,
make
my own
choices?
To walk with my head held high,
not
afraid of
anyone?
The right to smile, laugh and live,
a good
quality of
life?
They stare as if I,
was a
fun
game.
That they had the right to play with,
but
they
don't.
I am my own person, with my own,
mind
heart
and soul.
I don't want what they are forcing to give me,
I need
to be
free.
The things that I have felt and seen,
rip
me
apart.
I am my own, like:
they
are
themselves.
The difference between them and I
is
not
existent.
We are the same,
I am
living
too.
Just because they step and crush me doesn't show,
that
they are
better.
This body is my own,
this mind is my own,
without a
doubt.
Mine.
Try to take me,
Try to force me,
I
will
fight.
Let me live my life,
with my mind, body and heart
all
belonging to
me.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Thanks for reading!
Hello there
it contradicted the questions you asked in the start and it was such a turn off for me. I would have liked to see what you started ( the part with the heart and the object, etc.) carry on towards the end the of the poem, and maybe you could shorten it a bit.Well, this was really interesting. I will first of all like to commend you on how you structured your stanzas. Quite creative! Your poem was really deep and I felt the emotion. However, I would have liked it even more if it ended at a certain point. With a long poem like this one, it's very hard to keep a consistent level of interest of the reader through out it all; so you have to deliver in every stanza. What I'm trying to bring out is the fact that you started strong and the persona was an insecure victim, right? I would have liked to see you keep that and not to have the narrator gain confidence all of sudden towards the end. I'm not saying it shouldn't be done, but the way you did it kinds of spoils the good aspect you had going on in the start. So it got boring and it dragged on and on and quite honestly, painful to read towards the end. The minute you started saying,
But anyhow, that's just me. I hope I could help.
Good job!
Keep writing and good luck.
Hello! I thought this poem was great =) It was sad but really strong and passionate, I like that =D. It also had a really different format which I liked too, it made it more interesting. I thought your ideas were really clever. I think your poem is really good =D Keep writing!!