Life and Death

Wow. This piece was deep and thoughtful and overall spectacular. I cannot see no flaw here. Your passion for writing is shown in this piece ten fold. If you are just starting to write then i am amazed.

Such wonder and infinite complexity in a single emotion,

I love this line with your use of infinite complexity. I loved how you adress the feeling of love.

Heaven.
Its power over man incredible,
Its dominion in the skies absolute.
A dream for all.
Reality for any?
It is known only by those who have felt it,
Yet those who have not cling to it with all their might.
Who can say why?
It is of no relevance to too many.

This has to be my favorite stanza in the whole poem. It illustrates the human belief of heaven beautifully.

I hope you continue writing.
Emerald

I liked it, Although a few points to consider.

Firstly, you said you didn't really know what it was about. With poetry thats the point, you have to know what you are writing about, if you don't it's not real, it will lack depth and conviction if you don't really know what its about. However, that said it seems pretTy clear what it is about, its pretty much a journey through live, and all the emotions we as humans face going through it.

Secondly, I disagree with the comment of the sentences being 'a bit too long', there is no standard format for writing poety it flows how it flows. And I don't think any of the sentences need cut down or shorted, it read well.


And Finally, I thought it was beautifully written, especially for your age. Keep up the good work, I look forward to reading more of you stuff xxx

Hey, I really liked this. It was beautiful and I liked the imagery. You used a good choice of words. The only problem I had was that some of the sentences were 'a bit too long,' so you could try splitting them into two or more.

The part I loved most was the ending part. Very fitting and as lovely as the other stanzas.

Keep up the good work! I'm looking forward to more. ^^

This poem is absolutely amazing! I liked the way you used the crying child to add a personal aspect for the reader, which made it gain in interest and emotion. I also liked the way you cast doubt (a doubt that so many feel) about there being a heaven or an after life, without forgetting the hope held that there is. Probably my favourite bit is where it says, "A single word, choked through the agony of loss.

Heaven." This was really effective because it showed that during the grief you feel over losing a loved one, you cling to the belief that they are in a better place, yet, if you believe that entirely, why be sad? The questions asked throughout the poem show the confusion a lot of people bear on the subject, and overall the poem is a really good illustration of human reactions to death.

Thanks! That's the first poem I've ever written, so it's nice to know I can do it!

This is very beautiful.
Yet it is also insightful and brilliant at the same time.

The wonder of human existence.
A thought here, a tale there.
Our knowledge passed through the ages from wise lips to ears desiring to hear.
I think, therefore I am.
I know that I think, therefore I am more.

The certainty of death.
Mourning as they leave us.
We tell ourselves they are better off where they are,
But secretly we wonder:
Why can’t we really believe that?