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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Hi there, Smile, I'm June,
The title of your poem is listed as "Im me", and I want to point out to you that it should properly be "I'm me", with the proper contraction for I am. Otherwise, you could be telling us that you want us to Instant Message you.
Moving on, let's have a look at your poem,
•
I think judge here should be judged, in past tense, dearie, because you are using being in the active sense, implying that a verb should follow. The same issue presents itself a few lines down, here,
• I want you to think about punctuation, too. You have a period [.] on the end of the third to last line of the poem, but no other punctuation save for the quotation marks around I'm me. I understand that you want to introduce a break between the body of the poem and it's closing punch, but I think it would do you well to integrate a few commas into your poem.
I like that your poem targeted a pressing issue so many young people face today. It's very brave of you to write this, and I'm glad you shared it with us.
Keep writing,
June
Great flow with the sentences! I loved how you chose your words carefully, making it swim down to the end of the poem. Very descriptive I have to say, which is a compliment of course. This poem was an enjoyable read and I hope to read more,
cheerio!
Wow, this is really cool.
i feel like this has come from the heart and this is actually happened. 
10/10
i like the choise of words that you have put and they link the poem together well
i think it's insperational in a way, and i think it's just generally a nice poem. i think you have real talent and should keep posting. well done!
xxx
great ! great structure and use of words. I love the way! its excellent and good use of adjectives. i want to read more of your excellent work! your such a great writer and i want to read more of your fantastic work! i love they its set out and i love the way you have used speech and punctuation. Please post more of your work and give everybody the pleasure of reading it!
I really likes your poem because you are trying to shed light on a subject ignored by society.
Bullying should be noticed and stopped.
Your poem has a great purpose, to tell bullying victims not to care about what others think and you expressed that in a great way.
i liked the last part where its like
"you are who you are.
not what everybody wants you to be
so stand and just say "im me" "
but there's one thing you should take into consideration, you need to capitalize the first letter in the sentence and the I's
Hi smile123!
I'm hanorah and I'll be reviewing your poem.
First of all,well done,this poem has true meaning as people go through this every day and it can go un noticed and make things worse.I like the message in the poem saying how don't think about what others think,you are you.I have to bits of constructive critism: first,you should put capital letters in front because it looks wrong without them,and 2:watch your punctuation examples:, or .
This was supposed to be a review, sorry!
This is a great poem!
Fluencey: Pefect!
Purpose: To raise the self esteem of others who are ridiculed or bullied. (Pefect to most people.)
CAPS!!!: Sorry, There are no caps here??!!
"Punctuation": Only the quotes? Come one...
Over all the poem is not bad. Keep up the good work my friend!
~Dark.
This is a great poem!
Fluencey: Pefect!
Purpose: To raise the self esteem of others who are ridiculed or bullied. (Pefect to most people.)
CAPS!!!: Sorry, There are no caps here??!!
"Punctuation": Only the quotes? Come one...
Over all the poem is not bad. Keep up the good work my friend!
~Dark.
This is good but I think you should check your grammar
I really do feel that this poem has great potential and meaning toward it .
I also feel that you could have used for adjectives to go more in depth with detail .
I think this piece is great and the suggestions I have given are just what I would have done to better this piece but I also know that every person has their own unique style and way of expression so I will just end by saying that I thought this was very meaningful .
Wow it's pretty good!
I thought you could add just a bit more description into it or like add more feelings.
I hope you can edit and revise this more so that it'll be a great masterpiece!
What you can do is you can make it first person (although that will change the theme a bit) and add more "hurtness" of feelings into it. Make the reader actually really mourn or really sorry.
It's just an idea...
Anyways, really good! I really liked how you thought of the idea of writing this! ^o^
The stanzas need a little editing out, and the punctuation isn't really carried out well. Check 'bullying' and 'dying' rhyme schemes, I comprehend that they both end in -ing but the way it flows doesn't sound correct--or am I paranoid? Nothwithstanding, it hold a good message behind those errors and with a little tweaking I'm sure you'll prosper to become a better writer one day...and also, the title and meaning 'I'm me' is cute and meaningful.
Hello smile123. Jordin the greatest of all twits is here to write a review that will last for an eon or two. Just kidding, I hope it helps!
Being judge by what they wear? Judged is what you mean from what I could gather from the context.Okay the "B" in "being" needs to be capitalized here because it is the first letter in the piece of poetry.
I am not sure wither or not this is a specially written one for a certain kind of poetry or something because I did a review for something like it before and there was a misunderstanding but you I think need some punctuation.
I love this here bit I think you are a great poet and always will be.
Grammar:No problems great.Great!
Punctuation:I am not to sure about it still.Good!
Spelling:Not barley any problems.Great!
Overall Contents: Awesome super good.GREAT!
Plot:You had a plot that is probably the best ever.AWESOME!
RimesNo line did not rime.AWESOME!
Keep writing poetry and good luck!
~Jon~
Hello, smile123!
I love the emotion that you clearly put into this, and it is both easy to relate to and emotion-invoking. A few critiques that I have:
Here, along with every other time you have the phrase "being judge" should probably be changed to "being judged", as it makes more sense.
You also switch from talking about "we" to "their", so I would suggest choosing either of them to focus and consistently use it throughout the entire poem.
I also think the beginning of the poem should be broken up a little bit more, so just add a period or two at the end of a complete thought so it doesn't seem like it is a run-on.
At the end, where you have "im me", I would suggest fixing the grammar so that it reads "I'm me".
Other than those minor mechanical type of errors, I really enjoyed this and definitely could feel the emotion you put into it!