Young Writers Society

Hi there, Smile, I'm June,

The title of your poem is listed as "Im me", and I want to point out to you that it should properly be "I'm me", with the proper contraction for I am. Otherwise, you could be telling us that you want us to Instant Message you.

Moving on, let's have a look at your poem,

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being judge for everything we do

being judge by what they wear

Great flow with the sentences! I loved how you chose your words carefully, making it swim down to the end of the poem. Very descriptive I have to say, which is a compliment of course. This poem was an enjoyable read and I hope to read more, cheerio!

Wow, this is really cool.
i like the choise of words that you have put and they link the poem together well i feel like this has come from the heart and this is actually happened.
i think it's insperational in a way, and i think it's just generally a nice poem. i think you have real talent and should keep posting. well done! 10/10

xxx

great ! great structure and use of words. I love the way! its excellent and good use of adjectives. i want to read more of your excellent work! your such a great writer and i want to read more of your fantastic work! i love they its set out and i love the way you have used speech and punctuation. Please post more of your work and give everybody the pleasure of reading it!

I really likes your poem because you are trying to shed light on a subject ignored by society.

Bullying should be noticed and stopped.

Your poem has a great purpose, to tell bullying victims not to care about what others think and you expressed that in a great way.

i liked the last part where its like

"you are who you are.
not what everybody wants you to be
so stand and just say "im me" "


but there's one thing you should take into consideration, you need to capitalize the first letter in the sentence and the I's

Hi smile123!
I'm hanorah and I'll be reviewing your poem.
First of all,well done,this poem has true meaning as people go through this every day and it can go un noticed and make things worse.I like the message in the poem saying how don't think about what others think,you are you.I have to bits of constructive critism: first,you should put capital letters in front because it looks wrong without them,and 2:watch your punctuation examples:, or .

This was supposed to be a review, sorry!
This is a great poem!
Fluencey: Pefect!
Purpose: To raise the self esteem of others who are ridiculed or bullied. (Pefect to most people.)
CAPS!!!: Sorry, There are no caps here??!!
"Punctuation": Only the quotes? Come one...
Over all the poem is not bad. Keep up the good work my friend!
~Dark.

This is a great poem!
Fluencey: Pefect!
Purpose: To raise the self esteem of others who are ridiculed or bullied. (Pefect to most people.)
CAPS!!!: Sorry, There are no caps here??!!
"Punctuation": Only the quotes? Come one...
Over all the poem is not bad. Keep up the good work my friend!
~Dark.

This is good but I think you should check your grammar I really do feel that this poem has great potential and meaning toward it .

I also feel that you could have used for adjectives to go more in depth with detail .

I think this piece is great and the suggestions I have given are just what I would have done to better this piece but I also know that every person has their own unique style and way of expression so I will just end by saying that I thought this was very meaningful .

Wow it's pretty good!
I thought you could add just a bit more description into it or like add more feelings.
I hope you can edit and revise this more so that it'll be a great masterpiece!

What you can do is you can make it first person (although that will change the theme a bit) and add more "hurtness" of feelings into it. Make the reader actually really mourn or really sorry.
It's just an idea...

Anyways, really good! I really liked how you thought of the idea of writing this! ^o^

The stanzas need a little editing out, and the punctuation isn't really carried out well. Check 'bullying' and 'dying' rhyme schemes, I comprehend that they both end in -ing but the way it flows doesn't sound correct--or am I paranoid? Nothwithstanding, it hold a good message behind those errors and with a little tweaking I'm sure you'll prosper to become a better writer one day...and also, the title and meaning 'I'm me' is cute and meaningful.

Hello smile123. Jordin the greatest of all twits is here to write a review that will last for an eon or two. Just kidding, I hope it helps!

Okay the "B" in "being" needs to be capitalized here because it is the first letter in the piece of poetry.

I am not sure wither or not this is a specially written one for a certain kind of poetry or something because I did a review for something like it before and there was a misunderstanding but you I think need some punctuation.

Smile wrote:being judge by what they wear

Hello, smile123! I love the emotion that you clearly put into this, and it is both easy to relate to and emotion-invoking. A few critiques that I have:

being judge for everything we do