With a Pen

I love this. You could have some improvement if the words you used were a little stronger. I didn't really understand why you rhymed "face" with "face" but I guess we're all guilty of rhyming with the same word. In some parts there is rhyme and others there isn't. As the reader, it is very distracting when it's not consistent. I love it, but you should try tweaking it a little bit.

I like this alot

How you Put a lot of detail with a pen never new how many things you could do with a pen
But you put it to use like Wrtting a poem or a story
Keep it up
Makes me think of that episode on Sponge Bob with the pencil
and he makes another self only to Defeat him,

Love spongebob anyways going on bout nothing really
So i liked this keep it going

Thanks
Dragon!

This was great! I just love it! See, most people don't understand why I write in my free time. And I never have really been able to put it into words. But you have, and it was awesome. Your poem had this epic flavor to it that felt like hopes and dreams, and then IN the poem you talked about how it could all be achieved by something as simple as a pen.

Because you use something as ordinary as a pen to do all of this wonderful stuff, it makes the poem seem more magical. I just really liked it.

My favorite line was:

"I could find new friends
Right be my side."

It was great because it could suggest a lot of different feelings. You could feel nostalgic because you think of you imaginary friends when you were younger. Or you could percept it as dark, with all of you friends being horrible to you. I really like how it could go either way and bend to the readers own mind.

Great job! And maybe, If you want to, you can check out my poem, The Flame.

Wow. I loved this. You definitely have the right audience here, on a writing website . I'm afraid I don't have too much critique for you, because I see nothing wrong here, but I'll tell you what I liked.

First of all, I feel that this poem revolves around the phrase "The pen is mightier than the sword." (Which also happens to be the inspiration for the Young Writer's Society logo) This is my favorite saying, because of it's truth. Your poem proves that. You show what magic can be created simply from a bit of ink (of probably a keyboard) in the poem.

I also very much like the puns. Puns rule. I just thought that "I could write my wrongs" was very clever.

Anyway, great job! Keep up the good work!

This is a great poems! The last two lines remind me of Doctor Seuss!

My favorite lines were about the sword as strong (or stronger (than)) as obsidian.

I could write myself a gleaming sword

Stronger than obsidian.