Friday is for storms
Black skies
Black mystery
Make your words hard to read
Hard to hear
Speak with a black background
Secrets are safe when dressed in black
-
Saturday is for peaches
Orange breakfasts
Orange glee
Keep yourself joyful
Fold orange feelings
Into all that you do
-
Sunday is for marigolds
Yellow tiles
Yellow seams
Fling drops of sunlight
From your soaked skirt
Twirl for them
-
Monday is for ice
White water
White lace
Glitter but be cold
Not frozen not thawed
Keep yourself sharp
Don’t let yourself melt
-
Tuesday is for sparks
Red roses
Red flames
Do not burn but
scorch what’s in your path
With power with passion
-
Wednesday is for lilacs
Purple gems
Purple nights
Lift your head high
Stay soft but firm
You are royalty
You are good
-
Thursday is for gardens
Green wood
Green eyes
Bring the magic to your fingers
Stick them deep
Into what you do
-
Use your days wisely,
My dear
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hi! I love how this is written so that it seems like a mother giving advice to a young daughter, like something I might see in an old movie, like Peter Pan or the Sound of Music or something. It made me think of a better time, when things were more vibrant and more about love and less about being right. The lack of punctuation is remediated by the placement of line breaks and the division of stanzas, and I love that aspect of this poem. Speaking on the punctuation, though, the fact that it wasn't used in the poem until the "Use your days wisely,/My dear" and then it was in those two lines feels slightly disjointed at first glance. Just my opinion. Lovely job on your work!
Thank you! That's a really neat interpretation!
I think I put the comma there to make it stand out as a more personal statement to the reader, but I'm not sure. It's been a few months since I wrote it. I'll consider what you said, though, thank you!
Radrook here to review.
Thanks a for the poem which describes speaker giving advice to someone deemed to need it.
Of course these aren’t meant to be taken literally, otherwise our whole week would be taken up shifting from one specific mood and specific activity to the other. So I understand it in a general way meaning that we should be flexible and make room for these things once in a while. In short, to live life to its fullest. My favorite line is “Do not burn but scorch....” As for punctuation, it did not hinder my understanding nor the flow of the read in any way in my case so I find it OK. In fact, I find that it provides the poem with a certain vibrant, visual energy or strength of conviction that it would lack otherwise.
Looking forward to reading more of your work.
Hiya!
Temptress here to give a review!
So let's get started shall we?
So first thing I noticed was you have capitalized every beginning word: "Black" "Make" "Secrets," etc... Despite what you may have been told, poems do not need each word capitalized at the beginning unless of course it is starting a new sentence or a proper noun.
This brings me into my next point. There's no punctuation, which makes your poem a but choppy and throws of the flow. Perhaps add some periods and make some sentences to make it better? Then again it is merely a suggestion and I apologize if I've offended you.
Overall i though you did a good job at writing this. Keep up the good work.
Until next time!
~Temptress~
It's mostly stylistic choice lol. I capitalized the lines that weren't continuations of the line before like "Do not burn but / scorch what's in your path" was a continuation.
Interesting feedback, thanks!