Published July 30, 2010
.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,592 Literary Works • 673,544 Reviews
I like this, It is a nice poem and it reminds me of how my little sister writes...
I like that you compared love to something people don't always refer to love as...
Also, I think that you referring to love as hard like a stone is good, but you only refer to it as a stone in that first stanza, then you go on to say that love is Unfair, but you don't say that it is unfair because it is hard like a stone and can cause a heart to break, if you did that, I think the poem would be a lot better and more solid.
Over all, I like this poem, it has great potential.
I hope this help!!
~Rain~
I did not connect with this poem, but it is not bad. A few changes need to be made though:
Commas aren't a necessity but they sometimes help in a poem or in anything. Good luck, keep writing!
.
This poem is a little bit confusing.
Right here you say that love and the heart are hard to break. Which originally I had no problem with.
But, in the very next stanza you completely contradict that.
Here you say how love is unfair to the heart and breaks it. I don't know which one you really agree with. This would be very good if you could just clarify your meaning a little more.