Published January 10, 2010
Wipe your eyes, rid the tears.
Blow your nose, clutch me and
throw your sorrow into my hand.
It's okay, go on just cry,
It's what I do, it's who I am.
You know I understand.
And I will always be
Your most faithful friend.
Here to catch the pain,
Disposable in the end.
Because I am
Tissue.
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Hi singing Saturdays! I'm here to review again --> I've reviewed one of your poem today, too.
So, I'll just point out a few thins, and then the overall.
You ate some words here. Read it again. Does it make sense? Huuum. Try something like: get rid of the tears. There, only need to add two words
This sounds a bit awkward, and I think a 'too' after do would easy fix it. And I think it makes more sense like that xD
I really loved this. This was very realistic, really seemed like an inner thought of someone to a friend. And not at all whiny or cliché! So congrats on that, because most poems on this theme tend to go wrong. I really liked your imagery, and for example, putting the sorrow in a hand? Awesome. And the way you finished! I really did like this. And, so I'm going to give it a gold star.
Keep up the good work, and thanks for posting!
- Kat
I really enjoyed this poem. It is so true! And it gave me a good laugh.
My only critique is the last two lines:
Up until this point, your poem is so fluid and poetic. I really wish you hadn't told us what you were talking about. I think your readers are sharp enough to figure it out. If you really want to tell us what the poem is about, I would change the title to Tissue instead of Your Most Faithful Friend. But I would cut out the last two lines because it really does mess up your flow.
Heya there Saturdays!
Such a simple a cute little poem. It does remind one of Shel Silverstein's poems. Speaking of which, I should actually find some of his collections...
I've never actually looked at a tissue as a friend and this is an interesting way to look at such a simple little...paper? Is it paper?
Not a very constructive review. Just that, I hope to see more of your poems in the forums. I really enjoyed this!
Meadow
Hi there, singingsaturdays! I'm Conrad Rice, and I'll be your reviewer for today.
So, this poem really made me chuckle at the end. It reminded me a lot of a Shel Silverstein poem, which made me smile. Bravo for that.
I like the way that this poem goes in an encouraging tone, asking us to bury our sorrows in this as yet unnamed "friend", and then at the end, bam, it's just a tissue. But it shows us one point of view on how we treat tissues, and there is quite a bit of humor in it.
Thank you very much for sharing this with us! If you have any questions or comments, just send a PM my way.
Good job, and good luck.
-Conrad Rice